Went out with baby this afternoon to send my studio flash in for repairs cause the screw thread spoilt -.- After that we bus-ed down to Funan IT Mall to shop abit cause baby needed to get a HTC charger that wasn't USB-based.

HTC chargers that come with the phone are normally two pieces. The 3-pin plug + USB cable. Combine these two and you get yourself a charger. But baby can't bring USB cable to camp so he has to buy another charger.

And I got the cutest and cheap USB Hub ($6.50), a cheap keyboard ($10!) cause my iMac keyboard keeps going up and down each time I type due to my uneven table and a powerpoint extention thingo ($20) cause my room doesn't have enough sockets for everything.

I have 4 main sockets that are on 24/7, of which 3 are already using a 3-plug extension thing:

- 1st main socket with a 3-plug extension: Bedside lamp, dry cabinet, table lamp

- 2nd main socket with a 3-plug extension: Mosquito repellent(?), digital photo frame, big printer

- 3rd main socket with a 3-plug extension: External hard drive (non-portable), iMac, small printer

1 thing bad about having the 3 plug extension thing is that it's all cramped up and sometimes my plugs cannot fit cause they are too big to "circle round" the extension, so I bought a flat side-by-side extension :D Now I got enough for handphone charger, camera charger, battery charger and whatever I may need the last one for.

(Not the exact model for this but something like that)

Well, I'm pretty much getting my life back into order somehow :D I know it's like so damn long already but nobody recovers from a setback in life so fast. But yea, doing fine now and I'm happy most of the time. Heh.

Love my boy!

Especially my legs. Gosh.

Last time I used to complain about how I never got to go to a POP ceremony. My bro and Clem were Pes C thus no parade. I nearly went to the Navy POP for MT and Jerer but MT couldn't get an extra ticket for me so didn't go. But now I think I've pretty much enough of POPs already. I mean I wouldn't complain if I had a place to sit down but today was horrible. Lousy planning too.

I mean, not enough seats, offering ponchos to those who sit at the front lines and are getting wet. Best, I asked this crowd control guy if there were any extra chairs, he said, "No, all the chairs have all been placed here already". 10 mins later. I look at the opposite block and I see 2 stacks of chairs there. Yea, I'm sure, no chairs. Totally true huh.

& seriously? They gave the goodie packs (food and water) to the soldiers to give to their family when they arrive. Arrival was suppose to be at 3.30pm and 4pm the guys have to fall in. Half an hour grace period? Don't be ridiculous la. The thing only starts at 5pm. People who go there at 3.30pm have to wait frigging 1.5hours before the parade starts? And those who come after 4pm, will have totally no refreshments during the whole thing cause the boys fell in at 4pm. Dumb, seriously dumb.

Speakers, useless. Can't hear a shit thing anyone says, which explains why nobody from the side aisles (at least my side) stood up when the Guest of Honour came. Only the centre portion. And when they make it louder...Echoes everywhere you feel you're in a audio mirror room instead of a visual one. Speakers are there for a reason. To aid people in hearing what's going on, not to make them strain their ears and definitely not to make them go through some brain-washing with all the echoes and sound waves. Fail.

Anyway, don't expect good shots. I'm like far behind. Being squeezed with noisy idiotic guys behind me who keeps going, "Fuck I think... Fuck lah... Wah he idiot screw up... Die liao la... Who the hell is he? Fuck you...Fuck..." Get the point? I rolled my eyes at them like 3 times hearing the conversation. If you say like fuck in a conversation like once or twice still okay, and maybe if you change a bit like fuck, fucking, fucked, etc. But TWO people saying fuck in nearly every sentence to and fro is seriously damn irritating.

Okay, enough ranting. I'm just really groggy now.

Pictures up on fb. I only could be bothered editing two.

The rest if they are blur, lousy shots, whatever I don't care. I'm too tired.

But I guess I'll just leave it there.

Anyway some shots I took today out of boredom. Ohwells.

I've been thinking. When a couple breaks up, friends always say, the heart will heal with time. I don't think that's exactly true though. True that with time, we tend to grow more numb towards the break up but we don't heal at all. The wound will always be there, it will have a scar no matter what and given how much that person means to you, it will hurt whenever you touch the scar.

Which explains my previous theory (in red). When you really love someone, each time you touch that scar left by that person, it will hurt and bring back painful memories. People don't HEAL with time, they forget, they grow numb but they don't heal. They just bury it hoping that it'd never resurface.

In 2008, I had to choose. & at that time, I didn't even know who I actually love, I didn't know what love was anymore. After so many relationships, it seemed that love meant less and less to me. But right here, right now, I think I finally figured out that I did love him. With all my heart and soul. Even when my actions proved otherwise, even when I didn't realise, subconsciously, I did. It's really stupid. For me to only know that I really loved someone after 4 years.

Cause each time I brush past that scar, it's so painful that I always end up crying. It's literally heart-wrenching. Like I say, I don't believe people can heal and feel nothing and start afresh. It's not possible as long as they have emotions. All we can do, as humans, is to forget, bury it deep and hope that it'll never resurface.

Thank goodness baby understands and doesn't get upset by what I blog about. Otherwise I'd have to bottle up all this negative emotions all these years. This is life. Well, maybe I'd delete this post later when I'm more rational and not so emotional. For now I'll just post this.

No I'm not referring to porn.

Just referring to how adults always make fun of little kids just for their own entertainment.

Example 1: Whole group of adults were watching at a little boy running round and round in a revolving door and then stopped the door, making the little toddler bang straight into a glass panel. Of course he cried and bang against the door because he was trapped both ways but they didn't let him come out till like 30sec later -.-

Example 2: A mother tricked her toddler into wearing his glasses upside down and crossing the road. The poor boy felt so weird he stopped and cried halfway across the road and his mum had to drag him across the road for safety.

I mean yeah it's cute seeing the little ones being so tiny and innocent but that's just sick if you look it from another perspective. Geez.

2 more days till I see baby! :D

& I'm frigging broke. I'm really bankrupt already. Ahhh, baby's gonna kill me.

I sleep at about 3am and wake up at 10am/11am. Damn. I seriously need to sleep earlier and wake up earlier. Damn.

Miss baby right now ):

I'm still not used to it. From seeing baby everyday in school, to seeing baby every day from morning to night, to seeing baby two-three days a week =/

Call me clingy or something but just doesn't feel right. Plus we used to talk on the phone for hours each day and now we just talk to each other about 15mins and hang up or sometimes we don't even talk at all.

Ohwells, maybe that's how being in a long-term relationship is. Afterall, I can say that I have more than enough experience in relationships but not in the long-term relationship part. Guess in a long-term relationship, you have to let go of the small things you thought to be special and sweet before cause it no longer is special and sweet? Idk. So weird.

It seems everything is pretty much mundane, stable, etc. I know it's suppose to be a good thing but seriously, the word "mundane" is totally not in my vocabulary. I always wanted a relationship to be fun, exciting, and serious only when the time calls for it.

Think I'm going to sleep already. 3 more days before I see baby again. Even baby is counting down. Though I think he's counting down more to get out of the camp xD

Oh and a few days ago, when baby and I went to Cash Convertors, the guy at the counter asked this really weird question:

"Are you two brother and sister or are you boyfriend and girlfriend?"

and I replied, "Um boyfriend-girlfriend"

and he replied, "Oh because you two look quite alike"

WE DON'T LOOK ALIKE!!!! -.-

It's sometimes scary to think why does time keep on moving forward?

Why do we get older each second? Why does our body age every year?

I realise that books, movies, animes, games, etc. are just different avenues for some people to live in a different reality, a world completely different from our own.

For example, kids without a parent may keep reading books about having two loving parents.

Or someone who has lost the love of their life may watch shows that show how two loving people beat all odds and live happily ever after.

Of course, like the saying goes - There's never a happily ever after.

I'm articulate in my thoughts, my feelings (esp when I'm pissed) but when it comes to family, I don't say anything.

I love my parents a lot and each time the thought about one day not having them around scares me so much I'll end up crying. But they don't know that. They think I'm just one gone case daughter who's too deep in darkness/hopeless/useless/ and whatever else they think of me and that I'm pissed and irritated by them most of the time.

Well it's true that I get irritated by them quite a lot but still, I love them and I don't like the idea of not having them around with me even though they are sometimes a pain in the ass.

Others have told me before that sometimes my thinking is really matured and experienced (esp in the area of relationship) but truth be told, I'm actually just a small kid. I want the world to be perfect. No war, no money issues, no squabbles, no judging other people, no hurt etc. I just want it to be perfect where I can smile every single day and be happy. I know it's impossible but I just really want to believe in the best of people.

But like I said, the world ain't perfect. I've been betrayed, broken-hearted, etc. And this kinds of have a reverse psychology on me cause the more I'm proven wrong, the more tightly I cling on to the idea of wanting a perfect world -.-

Ohwells. Right now I guess I'm just grateful for baby, my family, and my dearest friends.

& after reading one of my friend's blog, I think it's time for me to spend more time with God too. Rationally speaking in scientific terms, having a religion brings about inner calm to a person as the mind creates this artificial feeling of security and hope of a non-existent being. But religiously speaking, it's just the faith you have in God.

I've lost much of that faith since I couldn't get into ADM and even though I keep thinking that God made it in such a way cause he planned another road for me, I still can't seem to see and accept it. But I'll just believe that some day every thing will work out, just like how I want the world to be perfect.

& People! WATCH RESIDENT EVIL - AFTERLIFE IN 3D. It's the best action-packed movie in 3D.

Although a lot of slow-motion moves reminds me of The Matrix.

But damn cool. Baby was damn cute. The gun came "flying towards" us and baby stretched out his hand wanting to touch it.

HAHA exactly the same reaction as the girl who was sitting next to me xD

But really worth it to watch in 3D. Initially I wanted to skip watching it in 3D and just watch the normal version instead cause I honestly think the 3D effects are still not that up to standard yet esp for real life movies, but I'm SO GLAD I watched it.

& the fact that I'm up so frigging early ):

Anyway. Sunday had piano then headed down to baby's house for dinner.

He sucks in leading other people who are visually impaired. I closed my eyes to let him guide me and he sucks in it big time -.-

Yawns. Omg really damn tired. Freak.

Yesterday I just stoned at home. Baby came over later in the night after he booked out.

Going out with him later :D Hopefully? Idk I'm feeling really REALLY sleepy.

All thanks to my phone that was on loud mode and rang when baby texted me -.-

Anyway photos as promised. All taken at Clarke Quay for the lantern festival.

More can be seen HERE AT FB

Love my baby boy to bits.

Heh, these few days he's been really patient and nice to me! Even though I know that he's bored out of his wits most of the time.

Yesterday he invited me out on a date. So cute! Haha, cause I wanted to do a photo shoot and so he 'dressed up' and when he came over, he insisted that I wake up (I was still in a sleepy mode having only slept at 5am), wash up, shower, and dress up too! -.- His reasoning was that since he dressed up, I should too and we should go out and have lunch at a restaurant. Geez.

Well we went to Lot 1's New York New York to eat. Love going there cause the staff are nicer and they always let us sit in the booth when I make a booking. 'Cept for once where it was crowded dinner time and they took my booking down as 7pm instead of 7.45pm -.-

After that went home, I cooked dinner and after that we set up my studio equipments to take some shots. Needed to take some photos for some BRAND'S® photo competition my mum wants me to take part. Think she wants to win the hamper -.-

Well the theme of the photo shoot was 'Mafia' so instead of the normal colour photos, I decided to create a more vintage look. You can compare the colour version and the vintage version. Heh. Baby looks really cool leh! Thanks to my shades and hat. Hohoho. Even the shirt he's wearing was a present from me. HAHAHAHA xD If only baby wore the blazer I bought. Pfft.

Really fun! :D Well today we wanted to head down to Guilin to take some shots but baby got lazy to go. However we ended up going down to Clarke Quay for the opening ceremony of some lantern festival performance (something like that). There was performances and like lots of shops selling food from Taiwan. Boy was it frigging crowded la. It's like human traffic jam. And trust me, you don't want to get stuck, unable to move anywhere, in the vicinity of the "chou toufu (stinky toufu)" area. You get stuck there, unable to move anywhere cause it's so crowded and you're just taking baby steps forward at a snail's pace, and smelling that stench. Gawd. I seriously still wonder how people stand eating it. Ew.

Last time I went to Taiwan I think my parents and brother tried it. Obviously I didn't. It's bad enough that I don't really eat toufu. But a stinky toufu just makes things worse.

Anyway, really pretty all the lanterns lighted up at the bridge. But like I said, REALLY crowded. Even the eateries in The Central shopping mall was packed so baby and I walked all the way one whole round to go to Liang Court to have dinner. We didn't cross the bridge cause it was so crowded but we did try to pass it when we came back (that's where we were stuck in a human traffic jam). After dinner, we headed back home and yay, happy me! (:

Took some product shots today. Given that I haven't used my light tent and other equipments for quite long already. I'm having fun playing with my flash somehow :D Not bad la. Heh.

Went swimming with baby today. And my arms ache like shit now. It's painful in a really uncomfortable sort of way =/ And I seriously don't understand.

I go at 10 plus, got old men and guys who are like 20plus.

I go at 2 plus, ALSO got old men and guys who are like 20plus.

Seriously what the hell? Geez. Ow my arms hurt ): Gah.

Somehow these few days I keep getting the feeling of detachment pretty often.

The very philosophical kind.

& it's not getting better. It somehow seems like I'm having very serious split personalities -.-

Gosh, after seeing all these cupcakes they just make me hungry =/

Though I know if I'm offered in real life, I may not eat them cause I don't really like eating THAT much icing.

BUT SO CUTE! Omg.

Now I'm hungry for cupcakes. Normal chocolate once though with no icing. Maybe some chocolate chips inside. Damn, I'm hungry ):

Ohwells.

Anyway I'm selling off my Crumpler Keystone for $240. It's out of stock in Singapore already. Anyone interested, just drop me a text. It's too bulky for me somehow.

Family is the most important thing you can have.

Although for me most of the time we don't click.

Well, sometimes I accept that their thinking is right but most of the time I don't think their thinking makes sense.

I've grown up but still I think inside of me I'm still just a small kid wishing for a happy family and such. Ohwells.

Anyway I thought I might as well post some fun (but super nothing to do) things here.

For those who watches "How I Met Your Mother", here are some things you may wanna see:

The timing may vary but around 04:21, notice how Ted stands up and say "Let's have sex" followed by a split second where the camera shows Stella's face for a bit before returning to Ted saying "'Right now, I'll lock the door".

Well notice Ted's face in that split second. If you compare the position his face is in with the part where Stella was saying "Pus everywhere" (before Ted says "Let's have sex), you'd notice that Ted was not standing up in that split second between him saying "Let's have sex" and "Right now, I'll lock the door".

The timing may vary but around 13:42, notice the part when Stella knocks Ted's jelly out of his hands. See the spoon being knocked onto the bed (with a bit of jelly still on it)? Then at 13:47, Ted is holding the spoon that's supposedly on the bed and it's clean. How can he be still holding the spoon when it's knocked out of his hands already?

The timing may vary but around 19:30, notice the part when Ted asks the couple in their booth to leave. See how the lady gets up to leave, grabbing her drink with her left hand AND her phone with her right, leaving the table completely empty (except for the appetizers and sign). At 19:36, you see that the table is still empty but suddenly at 19:46 the handphone miraculously appears on the table and then the lady comes back to the table at 19:53 saying "Um..I think I left my cell phone here", which is really dumb cause she clearly took it away with her earlier.

Yes yes I'm really that bored okay. I've watched HIMYM so many damn times I can tell you what episode it is once the show starts with the narrator. & I've just re-watched Kekkaishi again. All 52 episodes. Damn.

I really need to find something else to do.

Taken with Moses Lim! :D

The cooking workshop we attended for free!







Ah shucks. Piano exam will be in March next year. Dammit I hate piano exams cause it sucks to the core. Like really really sucks to the core. Pfft.

Baby is going for 2D1N field camp tomorrow ): Not happy but at least Wed he gets to come out and he has Thur and Fri off too! Hopefully. I hope he doesn't get extra cause he lost his wallet (in other words, his 11b). Geez. I curse whoever picked up his wallet on the cab/cab driver if they don't plan on returning it. Stupid people.

Well love my baby boy lots! Every week he'd bring me to piano lesson, wait an hour and fetch me home! Heh. And it's not I ask him to okay! Few times I sneaked off to piano lesson without him cause he's sleeping and when he woke up and realised I'm already back from my lesson, he starts sulking and whining about why didn't I wake him up so he could go with me.

I've been thinking, humans have emotions. When someone falls out of love, where does that 'old' love go to? It can't disappear for sure. Then where do we place it? Ohwells.

Anyway I'm giving myself another 2 more weeks. Cause that's when the shortlisted candidates of the photography competition will be out. If I'm in, then it's final, I won't be finding a job till the comps over. If I'm not in, time to start working!

My only motivation to work = MONEY.

I mean it's true. What else do I gain from working? -.-

Right now my life follows one rule: Don't go out, won't spend money.

Still I'm really broke already. I can be declared bankrupt soon -.-

Let's hope it doesn't get to that.

P.S. Prize for winning the photog comp? $20,000. Sweet.

At night gets very bad cause I'll have runny nose, with the air-con on, under the blanket and perspiring. FYI I'm not feeling cold but very hot, just that my nose thinks my body is really cold -.-

Anyway early morning we (dad, mum, eug, me) cabbed down to Furama Hotel to attend some cooking workshop held by Moses Lim? Well entry is suppose to be $30/pax but somehow or another we all get to attend for free. Plus free food, free drinks and goody bags too! Why not? :D

After that we cabbed home cause the goody bags were really heavy. Each person had 2 bags so meaning total we had 8 bags. Then once we reached home, put down the bags, Daddy, baby and I went out again straightaway to take the bus down to Suntec City for the Comex fair.

It's quite okay la, not as crowded as I thought it'd be (given past experiences). Then we walked all the way to Peninsula Plaza for Cathay Photo. Thank goodness they were kind enough. Cause 7pm close shop. When we reached there it was already 7.30pm, and the shutters were like half down already. But all the staff were still inside. So they very kindly allowed us to come in for a last minute purchase.

YAY~! My dad bought me a new flash! :D Though it's frigging expensive. Damn. But still, made a promise to myself already, no more camera stuff till 2 years from now. Cause I'm quite contended with my current kit. 2 lens, 1 cam body, 1 flash, 1 tripod, few filters and that's it.

It's more than enough for me to practice and be better.

After buying my flash, headed down to Funan Mall to eat dinner then home!

Photos up tomorrow. Really dead beat now. Gosh. I can barely open my eyes.

Hopefully my mum doesn't recall I have that piano recital whatever thing tomorrow morning.

It's a 10.30am in the morning. Gawd. I just wanna give it a miss. Plus I have piano lesson tomorrow too! Damn.

Well, baby had a really bad day today. Poor baby):

Losing his wallet and everything really sucks big time.

& I'm getting more and more sick. Just took medicine. Gah having this flu for 3 days already.

Hopefully tomorrow I get good shots somehow.

I really want to go register for driving lessons already. I'm too bored at home.

I haven't gotten a job yet mainly because of the photog competition. If I get to the final 7, I have to be free for like this period in Oct without any commitments/jobs/etc.

That reminds me, I need to renew my passport.

Pretty yes? :D

Oh boy and I think I'm falling sick already. I'm really bored!

If anyone needs a photographer to cover events (birthday parties, weddings, studio shots, etc) OR know people who are looking for one, let me know! (:

At least that'd give me something to do.

Feeling really sleepy now. It's like going to rain.

& I feel my life is really going nowhere. Damn. I seriously need to go out more often or get a job. Cause I keep staying at home I think I'll go mad soon.

Bleh.

Not much to blog about today though. Just that the weather is REALLY REALLY HUMID!

Gosh.

Oh that reminds me, I still want a dog! :D

Hopefully.