My internet was down on Thursday so I wasn't able to blog ):
Okay, on thursday I was supposed to meet Malcom to study together or something but I realised I had consultation after school till 3pm. So if I rushed down to WM to meet him, I could only stay till like 5.30pm and rush back to school for Colours Award. So no point, we didn't meet.

Wen Loong stayed back with me and we talked quite a lot about stuff (: It's been a long while since we talked properly. After that, Rachel, Shanti and I went to change into our clothes for the ceremony. Thing is they said formal or semi formal or something like that but the event was to be held in school so how formal could it be? o.O

Anyway, ceremony was kinda boring. Food was not really nice :/ Samarth and I were playing the eraser game and doing a lot of stupid stuff during the whole ceremony. I'm sorry but I have short attention span. Unless I'm watching a dance/drama performance. That's different. After the whole thing ended, Shanti and I cam-whored at the parade square then I went home cause I was completely shagged.

TO VIEW THE PICTURES IN THEIR ORIGINAL SIZE, RIGHT CLICK AND CHOOSE VIEW IMAGE.


(:


Boredom kills.


HAHA.


Wen Jie, Samarth and I.


Shanti doing something crazy.


Cool eh? Mind you, the wall is actually white and this photo is NOT edited at all.


Retro shadows.


Try spotting us :D


Weird Combination.


SPASTIC.


We are just emo kids seriously.


Love.


See no evil, hear no evil.


Shanti took ME instead of US.


Our pumps.



Today is teachers' day cum ACES day. We did body combat. Reminded me of what we did in Nanyang too. Haha. Slacked around, played with worms and talked cock. They played the mass dance music and Shu Ming and I were trying to find each other cause we promised that if they ever played the mass dance music, we would run to find each other to dance. Was damn hilarious cause he and I both kinda forgot how the dance was! Celebrated teachers' day with our 2 CTs - Mr.Eng and Ms.Chan.


Class at parade square.


Both our CTs in NJ uniform.


Us singing the teachers' day song we composed.


Mr Eng and Ms Chan listening to us and reading the lyrics.


The cake (:



Then I chiong to go home cause I needed to bathe, change, go down to Dazhong for awhile before rushing to Vivo to meet YQ. Didn't go to Dazhong in the end cause the stupid school only allowed ex-students in at 1pm and I needed to be at Vivo at 1pm so yeah. Sorry to those I promised say I will go but I have another appointment! ):

Met YQ and we went for lunch at BK and we talked about army life. HAHA, walked about and we wanted to catch a movie but instead, headed down to Mt.Faber SAFRA to collect something. Then cabbed down to Suntec city. We talked a lot you know! Haha, poor YQ had to get a cup of coffee and sit down while I went to shop :/ Bought a top and bottom for $88.80 in total. Not bad eh? I owe YQ $5 and I'm officially broke now. DAMN.

After that we went to some fair thingie where YQ wanted to buy his external hard disk and I saw this cam with 8 megapixels for $99. Didn't wanna buy cause it's kinda of no brand? After revamping my wardrobe, I shall save up for a new camera(:


We are really retarded.

Mum said we were having dinner as a family which is talk cock. I bet she just wanted me to be home early. Cause in the end only korkor and I were at home and korkor went out soon after I came back. Zzz.

Sherwin's and Malcom's birthdays are coming. So is YQ. DAMN.
So broke. Maybe time to do art and craft again but I have no time! ):
I SHALL FIND A WAY SOMEHOW! :D
Time: 8:28 PM

Sometimes I feel like I'm running away...
It's just a name. I hope you would let me call you that name still.
I know we are friends now, don't worry(:

Today I woke up late. Super late. Like 6.25am? Actually I woke up at 5.30am but I switched off my alarm clock and went back to sleep ): So yes, but at least I still made it in time for Mel's dad to come pick me up. School was total bore. With Mr.Eng still saying that my skirt is too short and he wants to see a long skirt tomorrow or else I need to come back to school during Sept holidays to do detention. Dumb, seriously.

Chinese was woohoo! Guess what? Gero and I thought that my latest compo I wrote damn out of point and stuff. And I got one of the highest in class for that question! 49/70! :D:D Okay, it WAS 49 until teacher had to minus 5m for wrong words -.- So I got 44 cause of the #$@#% words I wrote wrongly. I don't normally check the dictionary for words OFTEN unless it's exams so yah. Wen Lao Shi said she was proud of me cause my compos have been getting better (:

Following that, school was just a daze. Lazing around, and I seriously think my hp bill will be like woah woah woah :/ I need to buy prepaid cards again. Damn. I'm broke. TZ owes me 50 bucks and my kor still owes me another 50 bucks. Total: I'm 100 bucks poorer ): And because of that, I've ran out of contact lenses and have no money to get new ones. Anyone wanna donate to the 'HELP SHUJUN BUY CONTACT LENSES FUND' ? x) Minimum donation will be 10bucks.

Mum fell down and injured herself so had to go straight home after school to look after her. Dropped by AO's house for like 5mins? He got drunk this morning cause he went pubbing and in the afternoon he was suffering from a hang over. Went over, found his keys (he always leave them outside of his house whenever I'm going over when he's sleeping), and checked on him. In less than 5mins, we already were on the verge of quarreling so I left. I seriously don't wanna quarrel anymore. I'm so sick of it.

Went home, not feeling well. Even till now ): Bah. Must be I ate too much sweets and chocolates. Feel like puking. Bleh. Tomorrow we got colours award prize presentation ceremony o.O It was better last year when they held it in a hotel. This year, in school hall? Like seriously wth? Zzz. Completely spoils the whole picture man. What's more you can't FULLY dress up neither can you go in shorts and t shirts (i think). HECK LAH.

Should I go back to Dazhong for teachers' day? Luqman and faiz were asking me. HMM.
My schedule is packedddddd!

Thursday: Colours award in school at 6pm.
Friday: Meeting YQ to hang out in town(:
Saturday: Studying with Ying.
Sunday: Studying.
Monday (Sept hols): Phy and Chem consultations in school.
Tuesday: Chem and Bio consultations in school.
Wednesday - Sunday: MUG MUG MUG!

I'm so deprived of late night talks now ): Don't wanna disturb Ying cause she needs her rest to mug for O levels. And a lot of other people are having exams too ): Someone call me to have a good late night talk? :/ NEVERMIND.

P.S Congrats to Ying for getting top in class. I'm proud of you! (:
Time: 7:40 PM

To this certain someone, I do respect you for being my - but there's a limit to everything.
Especially to your sarcasm. FYI, my leg was NOT on the chair cause I'm not so dumb as to put it full view to you that I put my leg on the chair and wait for you to scold. I was sitting cross-legged but unfortunately for YOU, the chair was blocking your view and you only saw one leg on the floor, thus you start accusing me. Can you like CHECK before scolding me ESPECIALLY if you're using SARCASM on me in front of the whole class? Yeah, I banged the chair against the table and all when you told me to put it away and I gave you a black face. So what? I was not in the wrong and all I can do is to keep silent thanks to YOU BEING SARCASTIC? Like I say, I respect you for many things BUT there are also a lot of things I do not respect you for. Thank you so much for spoiling my day today.

School was so so and I know this month's hp bill is going to be like woah :/ There goes my allowance again. For those who are wondering what has been going on, well...

1) I've been going through friendship problems. A whole load of them.
2) I've been facing a lot of fucked up attitude from certain people.
3) I've been bearing the pain of trying to care for others when they don't really care if you exist or not.
4) I've been trying to be strong but always end up the reverse.
and many more..
The truth hurts, yes I know. I will be your friend, your good friend. To be here for you when you need someone (:

After school, went down to JE with Sam to study Math. Waited for Shawn to go for his lunch and da dee dum dum I won't say much about it. After that, left JE and Sam went home while I headed over to AO's house. Bathed there and changed to a set of dry (not so for my shorts cause it dropped on the wet floor when I was bathing -.-) clothes FINALLY and rested. Then Joan came home and I didn't know her friend was over at their house too until I stepped out of AO's room to leave. Kinda xia dao and I was like woah, and her friend was giving me that kind of 'WTH you suck' look. Don't know why either but who cares? Wanted to wear AO's slippers home cause my shoes were soaking wet but nah, lazy to bring it back for him the next time I go over:D

After that walked home in the drizzle again and here I am. I'm going to fall sick (I think) since I've been walking in the rain so many times today. NJ colours award on Thur evening. Don't know what to wear. Can I just go in some ah lian outfit? HAHA, think they teachers will freak out. NEVERMIND.

And AO, believe in yourself that you can do it (: I'm here to help you as you go along alright? Time for you to learn and I know you can. Today was the best times I could ever talk to you and crack jokes. It's so much better compared to last time where you curse and swear at everything. Ain't this better?


The bear YY bought for me when we went out. He's leaving on Thur )): I'm so going to miss you! Come back soon so we can go out again :D and take care!


Daddy bought me this to cheer me up cause he knew that I was really upset over friends matters.


Mugging. Look gonggong! Bear gives me inspiration to do work! Haha.
Time: 7:30 PM

Just came back home not long ago :D
I'm so glad I went out though I'm having a blister on my toe now but nevermind(:

Headed down to IMM to find shawn to have lunch. Haha, be honoured man! Knew that you were emo last night so today I go down to cheer you up. We walked about after he ate his lunch and we were walking and walking and guess what? I saw Mum. And I was like WTH? She was directly in front of me but she didn't see me. So I turned around and ran. Literally ran. I don't like seeing her when I'm out ESPECIALLY when I know she's doing this to check on me. So Shawn and I were hoping we won't see her and stuff but I know in the end she did cause we were queuing up to buy bubble tea when I turned and saw her sitting at burger king staring straight at me. Shawn's out watching superstar finals with Sherwin so I shall talk to girlfriends today <3

Well, left IMM while Shawn went back to work. Headed down to City Hall to meet YongYi. Was running late and I wanted to take the cab but in the end I didn't cause I'm saving up (: Met YY and we walked about loads of places. Marina Sq, Suntec, City Link, etc. AND YES, YY bought me this really cute bear so I can bring to school everyday and put it on my table so I can look at it during school hours :D It's damn cute alright? Thanks gong gong! :D

Oh yes, YY was playing with the hula hoop in Toys R Us which was hilarious. I don't know. I like him better now cause at least he's not so mean to me. Last time EVERY time I talk to him, he sure suan me like crazy but now he doesn't. Headed to Swensens to have dinner, his treat (: AWW. He showed me magic card tricks and all. (Mental note to self: Remind YY to bring two stack of cards the next time I go out with him so he can show me more tricks :D) Btw, YY's learning magic from a magician. How cool is that?

And YY was saying I should dress up more and I really need to revamp my wardrobe and not wear T shirts anymore + jeans. HAHA, I wish man. Don't worry. After this stupid EOYs, I'm going to REVAMP my wardrobe into nice nice clothes (: When I have enough money that is. But I hardly wanna dress up cause I don't feel comfortable. Like for example, if I wear a dress, I gotta be demure and not be high, cannot jump and hop about :/ That's why.

After dinner we walked about a bit more here and there. Looked at branded goods and stuff. Haha. And I went home while YY went to meet his siblings. OKAY, YY wants a white AX belt which costs 130+ bucks for his birthday? I TRY MAN. TRY.

I know I always say I mug but actually I don't. HEH. Alright alright, I get the point. Go mug. I need some motivation. HMM.
Time: 7:55 PM

It sucks when I don't know the whole story and all I can do is sit down and try to make up one.
It sucks even more when others don't know the whole story, decide on the conclusion themselves and leave you alone.

Last night was bad bad bad. I'm sorry Clement for calling you at like 2am in the morning and waking you up. Then in the end I told you I had no more mood to talk and just hung up:/ I was seriously so way down in the dumps I bet you can't find me even if you use a bulldozer to try and dig me out. Okay, lame.

Mum came in to kb me last night when Ying called me to try and cheer me up and knock some senses to me. She was practically screaming at me like why the hell am I talking on the phone at 2.30am in the morning or something along that line. Told her to get out and let me talk cause I wasn't in a good mood. PMS? Nah, I don't PMS. I get upset over stuff FOR a reason. Yeah.

No I don't like this feeling I'm having and no I don't know what you guys are thinking about. Like what Sam and Ying and Gero always tell me, let others do what they want. They don't know you well enough that's why they do this kind of childish stuff. TRUE, not many people know how I am exactly unless I've been friends with you for like 8 years or I see you almost every day and talk to you. Seriously, I don't know what I'm thinking about. Roar.

I overslept cause I had bad dreams and I don't know why I couldn't wake up. Didn't talk much to anyone the whole day cause my heart has loads of things to say but I just feel like shutting up for once. Now I'm home. Alright, going to go out now. To play, not to mug.
Screw exams. Anyone wanna ask me out to study? :/ OR pei me study?

OH yes, I just realised. MY WHOLE INBOX only has ONE sms that is from a girl. The rest are guys. How cool can that be? -.-

P.S AO, you called me this morning? Well, anything impt just call my handph again. I'm too lazy to sms you and ask what is it cause my sms has exeeded. Ciao.
Time: 12:36 PM

Slept at around 4plus again. These two nights I've been sleeping max 3hours only and I'm still so high (: Whee. I'm not going to sleep again tonight cause I'm going to mug my ass off and do all my overdue homework.

Morning assembly we had to stand there to bow for HA which I think was stupid but nevermind.
Chinese was slack and boring and the usual. I like wen lao shi but I don't like lessons :/ Morning wake up call to S as usual. Followed by GC where we wrote on a piece of paper 3 things about ourselves which the class won't know.

Oh, Anh said I should have put I'm shy when meeting new friends. HAHA, like this no one would have guessed it was me cause I'M SO NOT THAT KIND IN SCHOOL!
I can't remember which three I wrote so yeah. Math lecture was so so I guess. Now it's my turn to start mugging for EOM liaaaao.

School ended early cause it's NJ's open day today. Yup. I was walking around with Shushu bird2 (: Long time since I saw him and talked to him.

Me: Don't you miss orientation?
Him: Of course lah! Walau, next year I sure want to come back and play.
Me: Haha, how to? You will be in army already!
Him: Can lah. Don't think I will enlist so early.
Me: Okay, but I don't know if I'll be OGL. Cause it's my orientation next year and the rest say they don't want be OGL but OGL is so fun! (OGL is orientation group leaders)
Him: BE OGL! I support you! GO BE OGL, you really have my support.
Me: Haha, okay then. I shall be OGL lor.
Him: GOOD! Then next year when I come back to NJ, I wear sec school uniform then I be in your OG okay?
Me: SURE! You can crash my OG anytime :D

HAHA, first person to support me to continue being OGL next year even though it is MY orientation next year. HMM.

Walked about school with Shushu bird 2 and we wanted to dance the mass dance then they stop the music. -.- damnnn. After that, shushu bird went to find his friends while I went for my subject combination briefing. Bah.


This is SHUSHUBIRD2! I gave him hot blonde and green hair alright! (:


Yuan Liang doing the cha cha dance with teddy.


This is Yuan Liang's new girlfriend. HEH.

OHYES! Saw qihan korkor on the way home. I managed to drive him crazy cause I was so high(:
I won't say what happened but I really drove him insane cause I was too hyper.


Few quotes taken from him.

'Tuck in your shirt' (that was the first thing he said when he saw me -.-)
'I've ran out of 'whatever' faces to show you'
'You're just this close to driving me crazy.'
'I wonder why on earth did I agree to get on this bus with you.'
'What did I do wrong to deserve this?'
'Don't sit there, get down. Don't be an ah lian.'
'I'm going to hug my bag and be emo. But first I need to find a corner to sit at.'
'Did you take your medicine today? You really should take it you know.'
'Stop singing, it's making me emo'
'I'm getting so emo now.'

THIS IS THE BEST.
'ShuJun, you haven't changed at all you know!'
'YEAH I know, I haven't gone home yet so how to change my uniform?'

HEH, I seriously drove him mad lah :D Fun fun fun (: WHO ASK HIM DON'T WANT TO TELL ME WHICH SCHOOL THE GIRL HE LIKES IS FROM!
J says I'm being super fake again yesterday :/ How could he tell!
Yes, I'm upset with a few people today but still, I guess life goes on.
What stays will stay forever (: And I'm glad those that meant a lot to me are staying:D
Time: 7:21 PM

Late night taaaaalks are fun :D Haha, only slept at 4.45am this morning.
Damn, and according to mummy, both her and daddy woke me up twice this morning but all I remember was me waking up by myself at 7.20am. o.O

Missed my bowling meeting which was suppose to be at 7am. Had to rush like mad, packing my bag and all my worksheets and left the house at like 7.45am? I couldn't take my medicine cause apparently my throat ain't feeling right today. It refused to swallow any tablet. Not even ONE. So yeah, I vomited out the tablets in my mouth and just left the house.

Thought I was going to be late but in the end I made it on time :D Wheeeee.
(after singing the national anthem and saying the pledge, I went into the hall and dumped my bag down and stood behind Anh)

Anh: Wah, shujun!
Me: Yea?
Anh: You come very early right?
Me: Of course lah. It's like still so early!

Okay, that was crap. So our so ever nice principle went yakking away about how we should contribute money to the school and she said 'we must give till it's painful'. Eugene said, 'like this we must give everything right? then virginity also give lah. since give until it's PAINFUL.' Ohman. That was funny. But seriously, what's the point of giving the school so much money when they are wasting it on useless things like building a hostel in NJ? Doing so much crap stuff when CCAs don't have enough fundings for new equipments and trainings? Waste of time to me.

Gave wake up call to S so that he could study for his exam later on but apparently he went back to sleep so he owes me B&J ice cream. Yumyum(: MT is running a fever in camp now :/ Ying is super sick also ): RC is sick too ): M just quarreled with his gf and uhh, I don't know what to say..nevermind.

School passed in a daze. I slept in the later part of physics because Mr. Lee was discussing about the project details and I've already finished mine so I need not listen. After school was math consultation with Sam. Ms. Chan gave us homework which isn't a good sign cause my homework pile is like WOW. After consultation went to help out with bowling deco and stuff. OHMAN, we cleared out the bowling cupboard and you should see all the rubbish inside. Dating back to as long as 7 years ago :/ Gross.

Ended up late for dinner with J. Went to IMM to eat at BK then went to find Shawn at his workplace and just said hi -.- J kept teasing me about it and making me feel bad. ROAR. I want to go fly kite with J on Sat but I've got appointments already ): J sent me home and I wanted to visit Ying but she said she was really weak so I couldn't get to see her. Damn worried for her:/

Loads of things happened in school and in my life. Sometimes I step back and look onto those problems and find them ridiculous. Nevermind, as long as I've got my friends supporting me and being there for me, that's enough (: I can overcome anything. Maybe even studies. HAHA, OHMAN! I need to mug ): Someone heeeeelp! I need so study. I want to get my overseas scholarship. I want to get my dream job.

PROCRASTINATING NOW. Hoho, nevermind. Shall do a bit of work first before I talk on the phone later.


THE BUTTON UP TILL COLLAR GROUP :D


MUG MUG MUG. Clayton and Shi Hao came to my class to mug (:


Thanks Anh for doing it up for me (: Haha, my lappy's desktop wallpaper!

A lot of people have been pissing me off. Some really getting on my nerves I feel so much like just screaming at them to shut up and f*ck off. Ohwells. I'm learning to control my temper already. Loads of people have told me that I changed a lot. From someone who speaks my mind and don't hide things to someone who let things be their way and not give opinions but be neutral. Hmm, not that I wanna be like this but the environment I'm in is just way too.... unsuitable for me? Haha, I don't know what I'm saying. Nevermind.
Time: 7:58 PM

I'm not exactly in a good mood. Been thinking through so much stuff, cried in school yesterday and when I was at home. I can't help it. Have been going through this f*cked up emotional turmoil since a few months back. I'm feeling (as usual) that my life is so super screwed up and best thing is, the person I need the most, is never there for me as he would be last time ):

I wonder about a lot of stuff. I cry. I curse. I swear. I drink.
I'm so sick and tired of being rebellious. I'm so sick and tired of everything.

Yesterday was okay I guess. I don't know.
I only know I've got four new friends now :D
Shawn, Malcom, Sherwin and Kenn.

Okay nevermind. It's been a bad week and all. Failed my math test. Ah, whatever.
I cried just now. Double shit. Ying's sick and I hope she quickly recovers.
I shall go do homework. Till I stop emo-ing then I shall type long posts again.




Time: 9:09 PM

Some things are just so hurting. Especially when you want to keep quiet about it.


I love you <3
Time: 11:57 PM

Today wasn't really a good day. I had a very very bad start):
Okay, last night was really fun cause I was sms-ing boyboy and talking cock with him.
About how much he looks like a pig and how his face writes ' Hi I'm - the pig. Pinch me.'

Although it was just 5 sms-es from you, it made me smile(:

However, after that wasn't that good. I had a bad dream about him. About him leaving one day and just ignoring me. Woke up crying:/ I know it's dumb but I do really love him even if we are not together. I have no idea if he still loves me or what, but I'm sure I do. I'm so scared that one day, he leaves with another girl, I'm scared that one day we will no longer be friends, I'm so scared one day he tells me the truth that he doesn't love me anymore. So many things I'm scared of):

You said that anything could happen in this 2 years. I know that too. That's why I'm scared.

I'm okay with us being friends like how we are now but the thing I fear is him leaving one day. I want to go out with him but I don't dare to ask. Even if I did, he would just say no. Sigh, I have never expected myself to fall so deep in. I may have eye candies here and there, major crushes too but never experienced this before. Because of him, I'm willing to let go of other relationships that could have started and because of him, I'm willing to wait. Something which I've only done for one other person. Shucks. I didn't know loving someone could be so torturous. Especially when you don't know if you're loving for the right cause. You don't seem to care about me. Is this true?

Deep in my heart, I want to tell you so badly that I love you and show you how my heart is being torn apart not being able to do so.

Okay, I'm about to cry so I better shut up. So yea, my day started off on the wrong foot because of the dream I had and it made my heart so heavy that even blasting rock music didn't help a bit. First period was PE and we played badminton. I think I want to play badminton every weekend already. Like how daddy plays with his old friends every Sunday. Any takers? (:

Followed by GC where Ms.Chan told me that my MA2104 test results were really bad. So I've got consultation every Thursdays to buck up on my Math:/ (Random: Mummy is agreeing to consider letting me take up dance classes again! :D) So my day went on as usual. Fell asleep during GS lecture (not on purpose but I wanted to boost up my concentration for Chi test) and woke up for Chi test later on. Chinese test was okay, at least I understood the passage so that's quite a good thing. Thing about HCL is that most of the time, I don't get what the passages are talking about.

We had Physics make up lesson after school. Was suppose to meet Ying but I went home cause I was freaking hungry and I needed FOOD. Today was her English oral so yeah:/ I'm feeling so so down all the way. Ying too, she said we are the emo kids. Gosh. Alright, I'm going to mug to take my mind off things. So ta ta(:

All I have to look at are photos of you cause I don't know when will be the next time I get to see you face to face. I wonder, is the chain still with you, by your side?
Time: 6:05 PM

I swear boyboy is like so damn cute. Haha, okay nevermind. I just wished I trusted my 6th sense more and gave him a wake up call :/
You know, at times I really feel he doesn't love me anymore. Maybe it's just the way he's treating me. I don't know.
What if one day he tells me, 'I don't love you anymore'?
Gosh, that's when my whole world will really come crashing down on me I guess.
I'm so scared that I don't even dare to ask him if he still loves me now):





Really sleepy ):
Was online talking to Alex (my pixie!), YongYi (dearest gong gong!) and MONSTER:D
I became monster's brother liao. Cause I'm too MAN! Heh.

So was talking to Alex about how's life and all. Sad to say I won't be meeting up with him or talking to him for a very very long time cause of his officer cadets thing):

I'm meeting gong gong this saturday afternoon to go out with him and chat (: Haha, which means that I would get suan pretty badly by him but rah, I must meet up with him before he goes for his posting in Taiwan. Wanted to go to the airport to fetch him when he gets back but he was like, later my parents think you're my girlfriend or something -.-

Monster has suddenly changed! Haha, he's much nicer to talk to now I guess. Our whole conversation was really really full of crap. Ohwells. But still, it's nice talking to monster :D

Went to play basketball in the morning then went over to shop and save to buy my usual supply of tidbits to munch on when I'm studying. Gosh, I don't even dare to look at my weighing scale now, or rather stand on it :/ OHMAN. I'm feeling so....NEVERMIND x)I know I've grown fatter. Bleh.

Been doing my homework till now.

Korkor's feeling much much better now! He nearly had to go hospital again last night but now he's loads better :D Yay!
And I'm super broke. No pocket money for me cause of my handphone bills. Zzz.
Oh, I haven't recovered from my flu and cough yet ): My wound's recovering and it's super super itchy.
YES, I injured my back while playing bball again and it hurts a whole shit now.

OHMIGHTYSHUJUNPLEASESTOPPROCRASINATINGANDFINISHYOURHOMEWORKSOTHATYOUCANREVISE!
Time: 5:57 PM

[edited]
Okay, I'm back again. AND MY INTERNET IS FINALLY WORKING! (:
I'm not exactly in the best of moods, just hung up on Clement. Something I have NEVER done before (I think).

So went to Macs and studied with Ying. After that headed down to Tamp to find YL cause he promised that if I went to find him, he would send me home. Who knows that within an hour, he just left? I was damn damn damn damn ultra super duper pissed. Ying knew.

He promised he will send me home then....
(at 4pm)
YL: What time do you have to leave?
Me: Uhh, she (ying) leaving at 5pm. I leaving at around 6pm lor.
YL: Huh? You're not leaving with her meh?
Me: -stares at him- What do you mean? Aren't you suppose to send me home?
YL: Aiyah! Then you never say earlier. I meeting my friend at 5pm leh. How to send you home?
Me: -damn pissed- I go buy something (left the table and walked around to cool down)

I was so pissed that I was on the verge of crying. Really. It isn't the FIRST time he stood me up. It's the fifth time alright? So yeah, in the end I just walked away with ying while he went to meet his friend. Went home with ying. Rah, I feel so bad making her come with me ):

Went over to AO's house for awhile before going home. He's recovering so yeah (: that's a good thing and no, I don't have a new boyf -.-
Going to mug now(: Ta ta. Clement's pissed with me. UHH.

[/edit]

I can't connect to the internet ever since last night ): rah.
I was so bored yesterday. Had math test yesterday which is rather crap. I didn't know how to do:/

Had PE and we were doing passing and sprinting. Damn fun. Mr Eng and Ms Chan joined us for pe.
Clement came to school to fetch me. Then mum called to say that korkor had to go hospital again so we went straight home. Rah. Had dinner and all then Clement left.

At night, Ying came over and we talked for awhile before she left. Think I'm going to meet her to study later. Aye. I'm so freaking tired.

Fell asleep damn early last night like 10plus? Then Ying had to call me at 11plus to wake me up:/
After that boyboy called me at 11.30pm or so and we talked for about 5mins before hanging up. He's got live range today so yeah.

I'm trying hard not to think about stuff. Trying my best to put this smile on my face.
Well, it wouldn't be so hard if you weren't so cold towards me.
I love you <3 but you just wouldn't give this love a chance.
Instead you killed the love in you and left mine trying to burn alone.
Time: 11:31 AM

I miss:
-Talking to you over the web cam on my bed late at night
-Hiding under my blanket or pillow and making funny faces at you
-Seeing and hearing you play the guitar and sing for me
-You telling me it's okay if I fall asleep over the web cam
-Late night talks and you falling asleep halfway always
-Going out with you even to the most boring places like the hospital
-Holding your hand, hugging you and kissing you
-You calling me at random times just to talk to me
-most of all, I miss you ):



Do you know that I really want to ask you out again? And that I've got loads of stuff to tell you every time you call. But it's so hard cause I can't get close to you anymore cause I know you won't like it and I can't say I love you anymore cause you will avoid me. I can't ask you out anymore cause all I get in response are excuses not to go.Sigh.I really miss the times we had before the friction came in know? I really really really..........nevermind.

Damn, I've been sick for the past 6days already ): With an injured back for the past 1 month and an open wound (I accidentally re-opened it this morning) for 4 days. Ohman, this is so sucky.

Plus I need to cope with my studies (EXAMS ARE IN 6 WEEKS TIME!!!!) and also the emotional stuff I've been going through. Horrible. -shakes head- Up till now, I still can't taste the food I'm eating ): DAMN SAD LAH. My cough and flu is killing me too. Making me feel so... oxygen deprived? o.O

So last night was kinda okay with Clement teaching me Math but it was kinda crap cause his weakest subjects are trigonometry, calculus(?) and differentiation. And that's what I would be tested on for tomorrow's test -.- This morning I couldn't go for PT (DAMMIT!) cause I made my back worse after training yesterday. Ended up late for school cause somehow, my wound reopened and it was bleeding so had to dress it before leaving the house.

Yes, so I was late -.- So dumb. School was alright I guess. I realised I don't have A LOT of my physics notes. OH, YL sms-ed me like FINALLY. YL sms-ed at 6am this morning saying that if he can wake up, he would come and meet me. Which apparently he didn't and that he's still sleeping. Cause I called him loads of times but he never picked up. Zzz.

A's attatched (: Haha, happy for him cause he sounds really happy with his new gf now :D Shrugs. Hope that he IS happy though. But him being attached means I won't get to talk to him much because I don't like people getting the wrong idea :/ Ohwells but we are still friends so yea(:

Realised I 'lost' contact with ah xiong, jiajun and ah chuan. HAHA, must find one day to go meet them :D After my exams that is. OH! I'm not going Tian Jin anymore. Mum doesn't allow. Say I'll freeze when I go there. Temps in Nov-Dec will be zero degrees. Bah.

I'm so bored. Someone entertain me? Everyone's like so busy with their own lives I have to entertain myself ): Fine, shall go do math now. Got test tmr. BYEBYE :D
Time: 6:09 PM

Couldn't blog yesterday cause my internet was down ):
Yesterday school was so so. Only that I was really really sleepy.
I even slept in front of Dr.Lim when she was talking to my group -.-
That's how sleepy I was.

After school, stayed back and chatted for awhile before heading home.
No one was at home surprisingly. Played piano for about half an hour then I dozed off at 4.30pm.
Slept till I don't know what time, then ying called and I said I would call her back when I woke up.
Continued sleeping till mummy called at around 6.30pm? Saying I go find some food to eat first and she would buy my dinner back at 8plus.

Who cared? I went back to sleep till daddy came home with my dinner at 8plus? o.O
Man, I was dead tired I tell you. And I'm still sick so yah.

After that, talked to ying over the phone for an hour or so before going back to sleep again.
This morning was blahblah okay I guess. Had training after school.
My back hurt like shit and I kept hitting the wound on my leg.
It's raw red now :/ After training went to have dinner with Clem.
Mummy went to call Clement to make sure that he was with me and that he made sure I went home early -.- First she said I need to be home by 10pm then later she tells me 9.30pm -.-

I didn't bowl too badly you know! In fact better than last time.
Considering the fact that I haven't bowled for more than a month? WOOHOO!(:
Okay, I've decided to let things go their way. In a sense that, I really don't wanna care about who stays by me and who doesn't. I'm open to any friends who want to step into my life so I need to be open to those who want to leave my life too.

Yup, okay. I'm going to mug now. BYEBYE.
My exams are in like 5 weeks time. HOHO. Sia lah, I'm so dead.
Time: 9:10 PM

I felt so loved when you hugged and kissed me.
You gave me a sense of protection.
But look at us now?
If I were to turn time back, I would have never let you go.

Last night was super great (:

- called and we talked for 35mins. HOHO, this time he didn't complain that his hp bill will bao. HMM, but he was damn angry when I said I wanted a tattoo. I seriously don't get it:/ Nevermind. I was bickering with him over the phone about me having the comfort of a home and he serving the nation with pride. HAHA.

After that I talked to Ying till 1am? Then she went to do her math or something. Was waiting for YL to reach home and call me but I bet he fell asleep cause he played mahjong for like uhh, 20hours straight? Please don't ask me how he did that. Yeah.

Man U drew with I don't know who. Jer came talking to me online saying he was pissed about it -.- Then Bobin called me saying he was pissed too cause he lost 15bucks in a bet. So talked to Bobin then later Ying called and we conference for awhile. Ying hung up again to continue her math while I talked to Bobin. Mum came in, scolded like shit and I had to go to sleep :/ But I didn't cause well, I don't know.

Having a bad flu, sore throat, cough and I'm just feeling weak and clammy all over. Told mum I didn't want to go to school cause I was emo again but she just gave me a black face so I had to go.

Today was a very bad day. Bad hair day, super moody day. You could almost see a black cloud hanging over my head. Mel, Clem(Mel's bf) and Eugenia didn't dare to talk to me cause they knew something was wrong. Haha, I knew Clem was so wanting to ask me what happened but I think Mel told him not to ask. Ohwells.

Before assembly, I don't know why I sat on a puddle of water and my whole skirt was dripping wet when I stood up. So it looked like I peed or something. Gross. That made me feel worse. Went for pe despite being so sick. Played bball. As you know, the two roughest bball players in my class are me and Eugene.

So yea, he was guarding against me and vice versa. We played rough with lots of pushing here and there. Then I was fighting over the ball with him and I kinda skidded on the court. It's not indoor court by the way. It was the outdoor one so yeah, OUCH. Bleeding leg. Stupid. In the end, I still got the ball anyway :D


This was after I washed it :D So not much blood left. HAHA.
Okay, fine, it can never be as bad as -. Those wounds he got from motor accident:/

Cool right cool right? I always think that wounds are damn cool. Especially those with blood and then they leave scars. DAMN COOL. Okay, nevermind! Pity I don't have the photos of my last last major accident. Where I flew off my bike. That was WOAH damn cool.

That day, I fell in the morning and towards evening, Matt had to cycle down to ECP to re-bandage my wounds again cause the gauze and bandages were soaking RED. Haha, if only I had those pictures I'd show you. It's so so so so cool :D

School was a daze.

Stayed back after school to wait for daddy to pick me up. Kor called me that mum went to invade my room again and read through my stuff. I was damn freaking pissed when I heard it. Bloody hell, she promised not to touch my things last year and here she is doing it again. And when I called her to confront her, she didn't want to pick up. Zzz.

No more late night talks for me for the time being. Till I get Bobin's handphone and card. Cause apparently mum thinks she can apply for detailed billing without me knowing but of course, I knew. So whatever calls I have at what time, will be recorded. Hoo boy. Thank you bobin for agreeing to lend your extra to me (: Then late night talks with girlfriends and guy friends will resume <3

Oh yes, I was having really bad suicidal thoughts in school. Haha. I don't know lah. All of a sudden I'm so sick and tired of life. I hope - calls me tonight. I don't know why but no matter how pissed I am at him because of the way he treats me, I still smile whenever I see his name calling on my phone :D AWWW. OKAY! IT'S AS FRIENDS ALRIGHT!

I'm still sick and I'm also injured. Heck, think I will go for PT tmr. My wound on my knee is not recovering anyway! It's still bleeding. Since this morning. HAHA, okay. PT HERE I COME.
AND YES! Finally bowling training on WEDNESDAY. Gosh, I really miss trainings and I miss coach and all the crap talks we have during trainings. WOOHOO.
Time: 6:31 AM

Just deleted 100plus sms-es from my phone.
Feeling loads better now somehow after deleting those sms-es.
Yes, the previous posts have all been saved as drafts.

I've decided to turn to God again.
J told me this sentence which I always feared.
'God still loves you no matter what you've done. Big and small mistakes'
I've always feared turning to God cause I've sinned so many times.
Right now, I shall pray to God to guide me again. To teach me how to keep my friends and get back those I've lost.

I need to be strong because of those who care and love me.
Because of them, I shall put a smile on my face, and live life as if nothing happened.
Though I know deep in me I'm being torn apart...


Ying and I yesterday(:


Neos with WeiYu.



Time: 8:20 PM

I have no idea what's happening to me right now. Yes, I know that I've changed in terms of attitude and character. I don't need people to keep reminding me alright? It's really not that I don't realise it but I do.

Right now, whatever I do is with that fuck care attitude and I don't really give a damn about how others feel ): I really don't know what's happening to me. Even now, I'm feeling so rebellious and that curse and swear words are just coming out of my mouth as easily as flowing water (not a good phrase but whatever). I drink like there's no tomorrow except that I've promised - I won't drink cause if I do, he won't ever talk to me again. Even Clement is like, being angry with me practically every other day (it's very rare) when I do bad stuff and all. It's not like I want things to be this way alright?

I am trying my best to change alright? To actually think for others before myself. I don't know which part of my life screwed up but I'm seriously trying to change ): I know saying is of no use but ahh, I dont know! Screw this life I'm having seriously. I don't like it.

Okay, so this morning I went to Holland V with my parents to eat my favourite beehoon and mee. Then headed down for facial where I was crying and wondering why the hell am I paying money to get myself tortured. After that, daddy dropped me off at Woodlands MRT and I took train down to Sembawang to meet Ying.

APPARENTLY YING CAUSE A MINI FIRE IN HER KITCHEN -.-
Remember to put DARLIE on your wound aye?

So yea, met her, went over to ***'s house. After that, my attitude caused me to get into trouble somehow. Okay, I don't know what went wrong but maybe I was being to playful and kept disturbing *** till he got really pissed off ): I'm sorry. Really am.

So left there and went for dinner. Did homework with a bad temper. CAUSE NICENICE YL PANG SEH ME AGAIN. 4th weekend in a row. Not bad eh? Don't know. After that, headed down to Yew Tee to meet Clement for awhile and now I'm home. Still in a very very not so good mood ):

P.S My face looks super screwed now. It's like as though I've got really bad pimple outbreak or something. That's one thing why I hate going for facials ):

Okay, off to do my homework. I'm just so upset with myself. Sigh.
Time: 8:30 PM

I walked past your house just now
And I looked up at your window.
Wondering if you are at home,
Or are you outside having fun.
I wanted so badly to just go up and say goodnight.


Okay, thing is that I'm not in my best of mood.
So just now I went to Ben's birthday party and yes I made new friends:D
HAHA, thank you uhh, Jie Han for teaching me how to play bridge x)
After which, I received sms from boyboy saying that he was sick and that got me like damn worried.
I so want to go over and see how he is tmr when he books out but I know if I do that, he would completely hate me. Sigh. I really do want to be there for him, esp when he's sick but nevermind. I doubt he cares anyway ):

Alex just called me and I told him what has happened. He said I was stupid, and that I was being played by others but I never realised :/ I'm so scared he's going to do something bad next. AHHH! Not good at all.

YL is out with his friends AGAIN. zz. He will only be calling me in the morning when he gets home which is like 8plus or 9am? Stupid shit head still wants me to go to the east and find him. I think I might cause I want to see how boyboy is. But I know boyboy will just find excuses for me not to come.RAH, i hate this feeling.

CW is out watching midnight movie also. But he's going to call me when he gets home (: That's what he promised:D Okay, so I shall be nice and wait for him to end.

Now, I'm waiting for Alex to finish talking to his friend so he can talk to me. AHH! I'm going to stop him from planning anything disastrous la. Ohman. ALEX QUICKLY CALL ME LAH!!!!!!

Gero says she can tell that it's no longer infatuation but I really love -. I thought it was infatuation too, till I tested it out. Realised how much I was and am still willing to sacrifice for him and to go all out to help him. How much I care for him and worry and at the same time, I never want to lose him. AIYAH, it's hard to put into words. Sigh. It's hard okay, loving someone and all you can do is shut up about it.

And thank you Clement for comforting me today when I was just showing you attitude. I'm sorry for crying in front of you and not sharing my french fries with you in the afternoon. I was just really emo and all, you know how soft-hearted I am. Bah, but still, thank you for understanding and just being there for me.

Fine fine, I shall go do my homework while I wait for Alex to finish talking to his friends. I've got all the time in the world anyway. Cause I'm still expecting 2 more phone calls which can come in anytime from now till 9am in the morning. So yea.

P.S. BOYBOY AH! Take care leh. Gosh, I'm like worried sick for you here. I really hope I can see you but I know you won't like it. It's not that I don't care aye? I do, just that I don't dare to <3
Time: 12:42 AM

I cried.
I hate myself for being so soft hearted.

If I were to get any other boyfriend, all I want is you <3
Time: 3:14 PM

Here I am still awake, thinking about how my life's been so screwed up this few months.
Looking back, I realised that there were things I never should have let go off before, while some things are just meant to be forgotten.

Take time out of your life for awhile. Think about those who really care and love you. Have you treated them the right way you ought to have? Or have you treated them like any other stranger you see down the street? When you say 'I love you' do you mean it? Or rather, do you know how much it meant to the person you're saying it to?

I was alone thinking about stuff just now when I realised so many things. There are so many things I do want to tell him, but at the same time I can't. Circumstances and the relationship we have between us now forbids. I tried so hard not to let go but somehow, are you the one letting go? I want to be there for you whenever you need me, to hold your hand when you are weak, to wipe your tears of fear away and the list goes on. Here I am, alone deep in my heart.

Somehow I need to tell you how much I really need you and how much I want you back in my life, loving me again. I do want to tell you but I tried countless of times. It just doesn't work. I don't want to force you anymore though it hurts so much. I've said all that I should say and now all I can do is wait.

Praying and hoping one day, you will change your mind and accept me again.
To hold my hand and watch the horizon with me and all the other things we never got to do together. Right now, even though you're there, I know, your heart's not with me.

It's your love I need so badly now darling<3
Time: 1:17 AM

Okay, this picture was taken ytd. I'm too lazy to post the rest up so yeah.
Didn't sleep MUCH cause AO was calling me at intervals the whole night.
Wanted to go over to his house in the morning at 7am but it was raining damn heavily so never.
Mum woke me up at 9plus and told me to go bathe cause we are going out.
Phone went out of batt and I din have much time to let if fully charge so yeah.

Left the house and went out with family. Phone was dead in 2 hours like that?
Had lunch with family then movie then dinner which cost a freaking $173!!
I felt like a kid. I was sitting in a trolley and mummy pushed me.
Then in the cinema, I lay on mummy's lap and my legs were on daddy's lap and I slept for 10mins before the movie started.
So kiddy (:
Okay, go do project now. BYE!!!
Time: 10:14 PM

I'm S-H-A-G-G-E-D.

Zzz, fell asleep at 1am like that? Then woke up at 2am again cause AO called me. Then straight after hanging up, I KO. He tried calling once at 4am, once at 4.30am, three times at 5am, once at 5.30am and twice at 6.10am. All I never pick up. Sorry :/ I overslept x)

Went to school for National Day Celebrations. I was half high half sleepy throughout the whole thing. After that, went home to bathe and rest awhile before meeting WY. But AO called when I was about to leave the house so went to buy lunch for him first before meeting WY. He's just plain lazy that's the problem with him.

Met WY at Gombak then we took train down to Tampines. Wanted to meet up with YL but apparently he ps me again, cause he said that he was on his way to M'sia and he's not sure when he would be back. ROAR. Walked about TM and bought Ben's birthday present and my own school bag :D I love it okay! Damn damn nice. And it's freaking ex too ):

After that, headed down to Tiong Bahru to walk about. Took neos then left cause it was super boring and went down to Vivo city. Ate dinner there and I'm really broke now:/

Money I spent today:
$6 (Lunch) + $46 (My bag) + $13 (Ben's present) + $10 (Hair tie?) + $13 (Dinner) = $88

IMAGINE! $88 bucks in ONE day. OHMAN. I'm broke now.
My eyes are like closing on me. Nevermind, I shall go bathe now to wake myself up.
Need to pia homework tonight and then early in the morning go have breakfast with my friend (:

OH, did I mention? I met loads of people today. Cheltton and JieYing at WM. AND BOBIN AT VIVO. It was hilarious.

WY and I were walking and thinking about stuff. Then I heard this voice behind me talking to another person.

Me (thinking to myself): Eh? That voice sounds kinda familiar. Hoarse hoarse de. Hmm, sounds really damn familiar. Whose voice ah? The style also. Oh no, unless it's bobin?

(then I turned)
(he looked at me)
(I stared at him)
Both of us went OHMY! AND STARTED WALKING AWAY FROM EACH OTHER LAUGHING.
Haha, it was hilarious and he was less than 1m behind me all the time know?
Okay, nevermind. I shall talk to him tomorrow(:

Then in Vivo we saw YiJia, going crazy as usual with her Merry X'mas to CG.
Yes, that's about it.

PICTURES TMR :D I'm tired.

I know it's getting tough for you but I hope you stay strong.
I can't do anything else but pray for you and that you are safe and happy (:
Goodnight to you now little one, may the sweetest of dreams bestow you.
I pray one day... Just one day........................................................................<3

Time: 9:09 PM

Okay, took down the previous post cause things are settled already and yes, I don't want to stay angry at anyone.

My timetable for this National Day hols.

Wed: WHOLE DAY BOOKED
Thur: PENDING (WY)
Fri: BOOKED AT NIGHT
Sat: PENDING (CY)
Sun:


AO! Quickly tell me when you want to go shopping leh!
Okay, things I need to complete this holiday.

1) Chi compre (tomorrow night)
2) Chi compo (tomorrow night)
3) LA compre (by weekend)
4) LA Future Problem Solving (Week 9-10)
5) LA Fiction short story (Week 9)
6) MI reflections (4 weeks worth)
7) MA2103 Tutorials for Vectors
8) Revise for MA2104 quiz (Week 8)
9) Revise for Chinese test (Week 9)
10) Read through Statistics notes
11) MA2103 Tutorial 2 (by weekend)
12) Statistic Project (tomorrow night)
13) Bio poster (by thursday)
14) MA2103 Tutorials (by weekend)
15) Physics Notes and Graph (by Monday)
16) MI essay (30th Aug)

Haha, wish me luck man! :D


P.S I need my horizon damn badly. It's been so long okay? I miss you so:/ Hope you're doing well and all. Anyone wants to go watch the horizon with me?
Time: 11:15 PM

Huiting: Are you very hungry? Your hand is shivering a lot.
Me: Kinda. Never eat breakfast today, dinner a bit yesterday, no lunch no breakfast yesterday.

Wanted to find AO in the morning but his front door was lock so there wasn't anything I could do. Sat alone in the morning for half an hour thinking through stuff. Hmm. Didn't want to talk but Mel was asking if I was alright and I had to talk so yeah.

There's nothing wrong between me and WeiYu okay? Weiyu is my goody friend since primary school and has always been my elder sister for I don't know how many years. No way I would hate her just for a guy. Well, it happened once between me and Ying I think but that was childish. Look at Ying and I now, still going on strong (:

Talked to Ying last night before another mini 'war' erupted. Not between me and her of course. I feel so bad towards her. I think those who are my best friends are damn poor thing la. Still I was so happy when she actually bought a curry puff for me when I met her yesterday cause she knew that I refused to eat anything.

Okay, I shall blog when I go home. Guess what? I had a test today and yes, I did not study for it. Screw it. My grades are going to like.....I don't know.
Haven't been sleeping well also lah. I fell asleep during the test and Mrs.Yap had to wake me up. Sigh.

After school was shit. HAHA I shan't elaborate why.
I'm feeling damn hyper and happy now. Don't ask me why lah. Just really happy (:
Met Ying at 4plus, grab slight snacks to eat and then went home. Yes.

WeiYu: Tomorrow's going to be a hyper hyper crazy day. I'm going to charge my camera and wheee. All the fun we will be having (:

Hmm, I've got many people asking me out :/ Well, let me know asap if you wanna go out with me like 3 days beforehand? So at least I'm mentally prepared and can chiong my homework so I can go out in peace. Currently priority goes to CERTAIN people :D



OHMAN! I can't wait to go jamming. WOOHOOO!!!!!
Time: 11:22 AM

[post removed]

Fcuking a lot of misunderstandings. Damn. I should just switch to livejournal one day. Or make my blog private like Bobin's.
Time: 10:41 PM

Morning was horrible. I woke up in a really bad mood cause of stuff which happened last night.
School was boring and I couldn't sleep well so yeah, fell asleep in some lessons.
I did PE today and anh said, 'WAH SHUJUN! Very long never see you in PE attire already!'
Haha, crap lah. We played Frisbee and my back still hurts but nevermind.

Today's screwed up. I don't know what to do, what to say.
You know I do love you.

Mum came to school to find me. Like I'm not already in a bad mood and she had to make things freaking worse. Sigh.
Screw it. I'm becoming rebellious and I don't really care.
Haha, I want to get a tattoo :D Fun fun fun :D
Time: 6:25 PM

YAY! I've gotten back my keys. On the expense of me knocking my head onto the electricity metre outside the door again. Zzz. I'm so tired and my back hurts. Acupuncture also no use. Hai, stupid screwed up back of mine. AO didn't let me in through the front door cause his mum was washing the floor and stuff and he asked me to climb through his room window. SIAO. Haha.

School school school I wanna mug mug mug (:





And as I look into your eyes
I see an angel in disguise
Sent from God above
For me to love
To hold and idolise

And as I hold your body near
I'll see this month through to a year
And then forever on
Til life is gone
I'll keep your loving near

And now I've finally found my way
To lead me down this lonely road
All I have to do
Is follow you
To lighten up my load

I want to see the HORIZON forever <3
Time: 7:25 PM

Hmm, I took the wrong keys out lah. Went over to AO's house to pass him his lunch just now then I put my house keys beside his. When I left, I took my stuff and only realised that I took his keys instead of mine when I reached home.

Bobin is sitting in front of me studying now. He kept asking me about graph trends but I don't know anything! Bah, my math really sucks alright? Gotta go over to AO's house later to get my keys back and return his. Yawns. I'm tired.

I should stop procrastinating and start studying. byebye :D
Okay, this is AO :D



H-O-R-I-Z-O-N. That's what I need right now.
Time: 3:41 PM

Clement bought breakfast up for me this morning (: Haha, after that, went to buy lunch for AO who apparently was too lazy to walk 500m to get his own? Zz. Went to the Chinese sinseh and guess what? ACUPUNCTURE! 4 needles ): I was like WALAU. Then shopping for loads of chocolates and titbits :D
I'm going to grow fat and I don't care.

After that, went home and ate lunch and fell asleep.
Trouble later on which included phone calls of cursing and swearing, you get the idea lah.

So AO came to fetch me from my house cause he was freaking pissed and all. Then went over to his house and he PMS lor. After that, things got better till he checked my hp and all, saw things he doesn't like, told me to shut up and go away then went to the toilet. So I just took my stuff and 'slammed' his house door when I left :/ Zz. Aiyah, everything is screwed. Left his house at 9pm?

Aiyah, sucky shit.
I need to mug D:
My msn is damn screwed.
Time: 10:28 PM

Just got home not long ago. My back pain is acting up again ): Sigh, it gets really bad during the nights and I don't know why. So yes, I didn't go to school today because last night it was so painful that every slight movement, it hurts:/ Stayed up till 5am talking on the phone and chatting online. Then slept for around 1 hour like that. I thought of going to school but once I reached the main road, I was like f*ck, it's super painful. Headed down to AO's house at a freaking 6.30am? -.-

He left his house keys outside for me so I took it and opened the door. Joan was awake and she was kinda shocked. Haha.

Me: (opens the door, got in)
Joan: -stares at me trying to figure out who I am in the dark- Oh, it's you ah.
Me: Haha, yeah. (closes the door)

Wanted to go see doctor but mummy said the doctor wasn't opened today so all I could do was eat and sleep and eat and sleep :/ AO is a lazy pig lah. Been complaining that I was hungry since 12pm and I only got my lunch at 4.30pm. After that, WeiYu and Seb came up to the house for awhile. Where we talked and discussed about where to go.

Drank two cups Gin plus coke light lemon today. This time making it super strong and also this time AO was saying my face was red and all. HAHA, so crap lah. Then after that I told him I a bit seh seh liao. The only reason why I suddenly started drinking on a regular basis is well....nevermind. Saying it out will just make me feel sad.

Had dinner with WeiYu, Seb and Cheltton. AO stayed at home cause he caught a cold and Joan was out with her friends. After that, went back to AO's house rest for awhile then went home.Shit lah, back's really painful now. Think I shall go sleep. No, I didn't get drunk. I was just tipsy. So there :D Not going anywhere during the weekends either. Just staying at home and rest my back and do my revision(:



IF you knew how much I actually loved you, you would understand how I really feel.
But it's just crap. I'm slowly letting go of my life cause to me, you were my life.
Time: 10:04 PM

My back is damn fucking painful.
Till the extent till I nearly cried just now.
Bloody hell. Not going to school most prob.
MAYBE I should really go to the hospital.
Time: 2:21 AM

Yes I was pissed last night. Who wouldn't? Nevermind.
Thankyou AO for talking to me till 2.3oam? HEH :D
Slept at around 3am and woke up at 6am. Zz. Damn sleepy alright?

Went to school feeling so shagged. Managed to tide through lessons without falling asleep. Close eyes yes lah but not fall asleep. After school had the compulsory counseling session for each class. After that, cabbed to AO's house, bathed and got to watch my cartoon network! YAY!

It's been maybe 10 years since I watched cartoon network and all the fun shows? OHMAN. Imagine getting to watch cartoon all day long.Gosh. Slacked about while AO played dota and CS, slept, dont know do what shit. I think I'm really dao cause I didn't say hi to Joan! ): Felt damn paiseh lah. Joan's my god sis and she's AO's real meimei. So it's like, I really wanted to say hi but I didn't know how to. Bah.

Ate dinner there then I drank a bit. Gin plus Ribena is not bad though I think I still prefer Vodka. First two cups weren't that strong. Only the third cup was. Cause AO wanted me to go to the clinic with him, so I told him to make me a strong drink first before we go and we like rushing for time so I finished that drink really fast? No I didn't get drunk. Though I'm a bit gong gong now but I guess it's just lack of sleep. Burps.

Okay, off to do my homework now. Why is it that there are so many people asking me out all of a sudden? Hmm. I shall be guai and study. Ask me for a study date :D

Do you know it's because of you that made me so rebellious now? You know how much it hurts when I fcuking care for you so much and you don't give a damn? Aww, fuck.
Time: 9:55 PM

I felt a surge of hatred towards you when I was talking to you just now.
I don't know why I'm still waiting for your calls every night.
Time: 10:59 PM

I hereby conclude that if I want to stay up late, I shouldn't use the computer.
Last night I stayed up till about 4am to do the script. I was starting at the computer screen since 7pm till 4am. With a pause inbetween when I went to see the sin seh (Chinese Physician). I couldn't take it. At 2plus, my eyes were going all groggy and the words moved about on the screen. Haha, at 3plus, I caught a cold and was sneezing non stop making my eyes tear and that's bad. Close to 4am, I gave up and went to sleep and nearly overslept again but luckily mummy woke me up at 6am:/

And ZhangLi went around boasting that she hasn't slept for 65 hours and she's proud of it -.-
Haha, I've been without sleep longer than her :D Yes I can stay up the whole night and just go and bathe at 5.30am but that's only when I'm talking on the phone. Chat on msn or surf the net? No way. Cannot get past 4am.

My back hurts a lot. It reminds me of the time I fractured my collar bone and lying down on my bed was a disaster because if I want to get out, I might as well don't. Same for my back. Once I lie down, to get up is really really painful ): I want my back to get better! It's like I can't walk, sit climb stairs, etc properly with this pain. You get what I mean.

My ears are DAMN infected. Both ears. Don't ask how cause I have no idea too. Bah. Was suppose to meet Ying after school but somehow she uhh, emo? Didn't want to meet up so I went straight home and slept. I practically just climbed onto my bed and slept because I know I can't sleep early. Have to wait for someone's call at night. I don't know if he will call tonight though.

I can't watch love love stories when I'm single! Haha, it makes me feel so emo all over and cry. So I better avoid watching love love stories this 2 years till my A levels are over! :D Yes, I'm planning to remain single till my A levels are over cause I need to work hard and get an overseas scholarship. Apparently, some guys don't really understand that and still keep pestering me saying it won't affect my studies and all. I'm sorry though, my heart already has someone and that won't change for quite a long time.

OH YES! We had double periods of bio today and we were doing on HUMAN FERTILIZATION!
The text below is going to be a bit crude so if you don't want to read it, please don't!

First scenario
CM: What's a p-nis (guy's AHEM)?
(All of us near her stared at her and started laughing out loud, followed my the whole class)
Bee: (oblivious to the surroundings and didn't know what we were laughing about) hey, what's a p-nis ah?
(more laughter and we nearly died)

Second scenario
(We were discussing about guys having wet dreams and all)
Bee: What is wet dreams? Is it when the bed is wet when they are sleeping?
(Whole class roars with laughter)

Third scenario
(Talking about how erections occur and why there are so many blood vessels in a guy's AHEM)
CM: OH, so they got a lot of blood vessels to erect. Then means that it gets bigger harder and REDDER?
(Oh man, that's so funny lah)

Fourth scenario
(CM was asking me the structure of a guy's ahem cause they don't study that in China)
CM: But where are the ball things? As in, how do they hang outside?
Me: Uhh, they are just by the side of the p-nis lor. You never realise that during OBS when the guys wear the harnesses is damn painful and uncomfortable for them meh? Then got that thing protruding out. (HAHA!)
CM: Oh, I want to see leh!
Me: OMG! (laughs) That's no difference from seeing porn already! ANHHH!!! COME HERE!
Anh: (walks over) ya what?
Me: (dying of laughter) HAHA, Chun Meng wants to see how AHEM looks like. Go show her yours lah.
Anh: WTH?! I better stay away from Chun Meng already. So scary lah.


Bio....HAHA, joke lah. Even Ms.Tay said that ours is the very first class to ask this kind of questions.
Time: 8:14 PM