I'm so tired. Mentally, emotionally and physically.
And I'm hot, literally hot. I'm sun burnt.

Woke up damn early at 8am to get ready to go to harbour front to meet the '07 OGLS for a gathering. There was Jonathan, Haikal, ShuMing, Aaron, Shaun, Desmond, WenHao, Cheryl, Eileen, YanQin, Huiting, Rachel and I. Headed down to sentosa and had fun together. Esp playing water monkey in the sea:D

Also buried shu shu bird (ShuMing) in the sand which is oh so fun :D We played cards and all. My shoulders and neck are now burnt -.- Painful ):
Stayed there will about 4plus in the afternoon. Then bathed and went to Vivo.
The ex OGLS had dinner there while I left to find Ying and had dinner with her. Walked about in a bad mood for everything. Then Ying left for home (SORRY!) and I headed down to cityhall to find shu shu bird and we talked for over 2hours :D THANKYOU SHU SHU BIRD!

Rah, I'm so sleepy. I need to be up at 6am. Look at the time now. 12.20am. Damn.
Freaking tired and I'm still not in a good mood.
Time: 12:02 AM

7 more hours till a day. You've never ignored me this long before.
I don't know what's going through your head and what you're thinking about.
Every time I try to talk about us, you evade the question.

Thank you Hwee for talking to me all the way till 2.30am and trying to cheer me up even though you were very tired.
Thank you Ying for being there for me and just listening to me cry, curse and swear over the phone.
Thank you Bobin for sending me the nice little sms at 4am in the morning to cheer me up.

I've yet to get back my normal voice but I think my current voice is so husky and sexaye yes? Didn't go for OGL today because:
1) I'm sick.
2) I've not much voice left.
3) I'm upset and emotionally unstable.
4) I'm very tired.

Sigh, Ying says I should just go over to his house and settle stuff between us. As luck would have it, I'm going over to lakeside for dinner later _|_
I don't know. I just wanna meet my niece ASAP so that I can talk to her ): Sigh.

I need to wake up. Stop being such an ignorant fool and trusting others so easily. Why did I ever get myself into this mess again? Dammit.
Oh yes, sorry luqman. I know you've been asking me out these few days and I'm always not free. SORRY! My schedule's kinda packed.

30th - Sentosa with 06 OGLS and dinner with Ying.
31st - School rehearsals from 8am-6pm and then countdown with I don't know who. Or maybe I shall just stay at home and not countdown this year. No mood anyway.

Plans for next year? I don't know. First two weeks will be busy I guess. Hai.
I love you, whoever I'm thinking of now <3
Time: 5:18 PM

I don't know why I'm crying. I just keep crying. Tears just keep rolling down.
Will someone please just hug me and tell me that everything is okay?
Time: 12:55 AM

RAH, I'M STILL SO BLOODY SICK):

Mum found out that I'm sick so I couldn't stay over. Bleh. Yesterday was hell loads of fun with my group :D And it was tiring too. After that we just had practice for walk in stuff and also mass dance and all. Okay, I'm bad at remembering guy's name. Especially people with English names. I don't know why but I keep calling guys 'Benjamin' when they are not o.O That sucks yo?

I'm suppose to be in school for breakfast and join the rest of the OGLS for breakfast but I decided to sleep in a little longer cause I'm really not feeling that good. Leaving the house soon to go school and help them with their walk in dances and also their formations. Yawns,won't be home till like 8plus? Sian.

Okay, ZiZhao my ever so nice dance partner is killing me for not turning up in the morning for mass dance. I know lah, I'm like a totally oh so good dance partner that he cannot do without me. HAHA, joking joking. Though we did dance like hell last night. Going all crazy and hyped up :D I'm dancing again with him later so what the heck. Alright, I'm going now. Mum's insisting I go see a docotr first before going to school. Bleh.
Time: 11:44 AM

Today is one of the suckiest days I've ever had in the holidays.
Couldn't get to sleep so I only slept at around 1am with a fever, a bad cough and a blocked nose.
Woke up at 4.45am due to the stupid screwed up sms system. I received merry x'mas sms-es at that time and couldn't get back to sleep again.

When I finally did get back to sleep it was time to wake up. Damn.
Felt feverish and all but still went to camp.
Danced and had station games and all.
I was coughing like mad and felt really really really like dying :/
Esp during mass dance. Just counting 8 counts and dancing made me out of breath.
By the end of the day, my friends said I looked damn bad and stuff.
Even my voice was like...

Going back to camp tomorrow and most probably staying over. See how I feel first. If very bad, then I'll go home and sleep. Okay, Arthi owes me 5bucks to keep my mouth shut the whole day about her secret one year ago. She said she'll pay me another 5bucks for tmr. HAHA.

Okay, I'm really feeling damn sick now. Hai. And there's nothing to cheer me up): Ying says I should really go hospital and have a check up to see if my bronchitis worsened. Bleh. And I don't know if I made the right choice. All of a sudden, I feel that I should concentrate on my studies instead and not get involved in this mess again :/ Shit, what was I thinking seriously?

To Mingtak: I'm glad you've found yourself a girlfriend, someone you love and care for. Hey, no worries on my side yeah? I've never expected you to wait after all this time. Remember what I told you like 2 years ago? If you meet someone else you like, go for it (: Haha, take good care of her (whoever she is) and treasure your times together aye? All the best :D
Time: 9:06 PM

I'm sick ): Rah, been sneezing and sneezing. PIGHEAD! Your fault lah, sneeze over the phone then spread to me le. LOUSY PIG HEAD MAKE ME SICK! :D
But thanks anyway for coming down to meet me. Haha, minus the part where you hid behind the wall to scare me. That's not nice.

Yesterday, Jason came down to find me at night and get his present. He got down and the wrong bus stop and I had to walk damn freaking far to go fetch him. That blur lousy gong kia. We just sat around and talked. Rah. Till damn late at night. Okay, not so late but still late.

X'mas eve and X'mas day are spent at home slacking around. I don't wanna go out. So sian. Everywhere so many people. BORING. Clement came over today and we just watched movies and slept. Wanted to go play bball but ended up sleeping -.-

I'm so tired and pissed. Gosh.
Eh pighead. You never reply my sms lah! Zz. Want to call you before I sleep. Zz.


Clement that idiot took this photo when he came over today and I didn't wanna wake up. Grr.
THANK GOODNESS I COVERED MY FACE :D


Time: 9:39 PM

pictures taken on Friday.



On the way to school for dance practice.


In town.









the only pic I have on the bbq on sat.



Oh yes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONG JIAYI DEAREST (24th Dec)!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENNETH POH VAIN POK (25th Dec)!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DENISE DANIELLE LEE LOVE (26th Dec)!

and MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE :D

Time: 1:53 PM

Everyone's telling me the different options I have to choose.
I want to make my own decisions but somehow, they aren't working.

I just want you to stay by my side and tell me everything is going to be okay.
I want to hear the truth from you and not your lies anymore.
I just wanna hold your hand tight and never let go.
I really want to love you, now and forever.

Every time I give my best to something, it just doesn't work out. I wonder why.
Baby, I just wanna hear you say you love me. Although I'm not confident that things between us will work out, I don't wanna let you slip away you know?

Sigh, I love you <3


Ying's having the same problems as me also. Sigh, if only I could be there for her no matter what happens, but right now, I'm stuck in my own shit and struggling. Hai):
Time: 8:44 PM

Someone sent the sweetest sms to me in the wee hours of the morning and it made me smile when I woke up and saw it(: YAY!

Haha. I'm pretty mad today and full of emotions.
I'm not feeling well today so I never go for my OGL filming ): Hai.
Ying and Clem say I should go hospital for check up for my lungs. I've been coughing non stop for one month plus already and once I exert myself a teeny weeny bit, I start coughing.

Later got JTS (junior-treat-senior) BBQ. Mm, tired shit.
But at least I'll get to see my monster bro and ah pek :D


Ohwell. Screw it. I'm gonna have lunch and get ready to go for BBQ. Need to leave the house at 2.15pm. Who the hell starts BBQ at 4pm in the afternoon? o.O Will only be back home at 10plus I suppose. TIRED shit.
Time: 12:31 PM

I'm not exactly in a good mood now but what the heck.
Went to school with Clement for OGL prac early in the morning.
Met a few J3s. Kirana, ZhiYuan, Hong Ming and Zhong Xian.
Clement played bball while I had prac. Sian.

After prac, left school, headed down to PS.
Met YF there, surprisingly. Haha, he looked like some ah beng =x
Walked about and shopped. F sia, I'm really broke.
Suppose to meet gay guy today but in the end never. Haha.
Waited for Ying to come then we went walk some more till Clement went home.

Going to sleep. Ta ta.

Time: 11:56 AM

OMG OMG OMG. For the first time in 4 years (I think. Or maybe 5) I finally got to see my cousin. He never turned up for any family gathering for the past few years and yesterday I finally saw him again at my ah gong's birthday. HEE. He's hot to me :D I've a crush on him since I was just a lil kid. Not bad eh? Every time there's a family gathering, the only person I'm looking forward to seeing is him. HAHA. But we never even made any eye contact neither did I greet him lah. So weird. When we were young, we would play with each other and took care of our younger cousins. Now that we're grown up, it's different. We don't even talk to each other :/

And I did a stupid thing yesterday. I was walking with korkor in the dark when I thought I saw a weird creature scattering across the pavement and I panicked and grabbed my korkor's arm. In the end it was only a leaf -.- Wth seriously.

PIGHEAD! Heh, thank you for coming down to find me today. EH, but next time tell me beforehand leh. Very scary lor. First say you coming over and already on train. Next moment say you are already under my block. But still, I appreciated it, you stupid pighead(: -pats ur head. Now you owe me a X'mas present!

Oh yes, I never meet Alex in the end. Don't know what happen to him or where he is. Said he will call me but never did. Rah.

Eh, pighead. I want see you again leh. So can bully you :D









My bruise is like oh so cool right? (It looks much worse in real life) It's been there for 2 weeks le. I think there's a bit of fracture inside lah. Got it when my knee whacked against the bathtub in M'sia when I slipped. Rah.

Time: 7:47 PM

I'm super emo. I know why but I'm not going to say anything.
Fuck man. Seriously, fuck.

Suggestions why I'm emo:
1) No one to talk to on the phone.
2) Damn bloody tired.
3) Meeting Alex tomorrow.
4) Someone made me feel so unappreciated today.

I'm really tired lah. Slept at 3am then woke up at 7am. Zz. Went to do the filming for OGL stuff then headed down to pig's house to get some sleep. As a result, he ignored me like shit. Like wtf man. I got so mad I refused to talk to him and whacked him with numerous pillows but all he did was sit there and watch tv. Ass. Gone case that guy. Told him I don't wanna see him till next year. Zz. Irritating. And I seriously don't wanna meet him unless I'm meeting him to get back my PE shirt which is washing in his house now -.-

Tomorrow I'm meeting Alex. Hai, I don't know how things will go and I'm damn scared I will cry in front of him :/ Last day of being friends. Sigh, life's full of ups and downs. I need some peace seriously.
Time: 4:32 PM

I just woke up Z_z
REALLY TIRED ): Slept at 2.30am and I was up at 8.15am and I'm physically tired.
Bowled from 9am to 12am. Then immediately go to school for OGL dance.
Left early (HAHA, I know leung yan is so not happy because I always leave early :D) and cab-bed down (I'm pretty broke already. Or rather, REALLY broke) to find pig. Zz.

Went over, bathed and slept for awhile. AND I GOT TO EAT :D Haha, halfway while half watching tv and half sleeping, I felt really hungry cause I didn't have lunch and pig went to microwave (?) noodles for me. I don't know why it's microwave too but nevermind.

Stayed till around 5.30pm then left. Came home, had dinner, and slept. I LEFT MY PE SHIRT AT PIG'S HOUSE! Dammit. Gotta go get it soon or else mummy's gonna kill me.

Yesterday night was a really bad day. I quarrelled with Alex and that included him cursing and swearing at me over the phone and shouting INTO the phone. Accidentally told him some things he ain't suppose to know which made us bring up promises we made to each other 3 years ago before we broke up. Somehow he made me cry again :/ But yeah, it's over between us. Even as friends. We're going our separate ways already. This Thursday will be the last time I'm meeting him already. After that, we no longer will know each other. Hai, I never wanted things to turn out this way but...no choice.
Time: 9:52 PM

I woke up super late today. Mm, waited for pig to go home till 4.30am before I fell asleep.
Woke up at 8am, switched off my alarm clock and went back to sleep till 10am.
And I'm suppose to be in school at 10am. Damn.
So I rushed like mad and left the house without my Ez-link until some fucked up bus driver gave me attitude. Bloody hell.

Me: -puts in 60cents and wait for him to issue the bus ticket-
Fucked up driver: -refuses to press the button to issue me the ticket-
Me: -waited-
Fucked up driver: -stares at me-
Me: Uhh, my ticket leh?
Fucked up driver: You student meh?
Me: -stares at my NJCIP shirt- Yah. Student.
Fucked up driver: Ez-link card leh?
Me: Never bring, IC can?
Fucked up driver: Cannot, only Ezlink. No Ezlink too bad.
Me: -stares at him and walk away-

FUCK YOU MAN. If I'm not in NJ shirt and I'm not bloody late for dance and if I have enough coins to take another bus, I'll just curse and swear at you for being such a stuck up asshole. Bloody hell, you woke up from the wrong side of bed doesn't mean that you have to ruin other people's day right! AND IF I BLOODY WELL HAVE MY EZLINK CARD WHY WOULD I PAY USING COINS?! Use your pea-size useless brain lah.

Best part, I wanted to get off so I pressed the bell and walked to the door. The fucked up driver kept glaring at me from the rear view mirror. KNN CCB LAH. I paid money okay! Not like I didn't pay so get ur asshole fucked inside out or something lah. See what see lah. Not shuang my problem is it! Isit your wife was fucking around with other guys while no other women wants you. Small dick.

I've always thought bus drivers are nice and all. But this one ain't. He's the worst I've ever met. Fuck you man. No wait, I don't wanna fuck you. Go fuck some bitch (female dog) lah. It's not like I didn't offer to let you see my IC okay! You bloody well refuse and still show me attitude. __

Rah, so damn pissed. Dance was cool though :D We learnt the two new dances and I've almost forgotten everything :/ After dance, cabbed to Jurong West to meet Jason. Talked awhile then cabbed to Gombak where he sent me home. Then I ate and just K.O -.- Freaking tired.

Tomorrow there's dance again. Ohwells. I'm going bowling before that though :D Daddy's coming with me :D
Time: 10:31 PM

HELLO MONDAY!
Yawns, I just woke up and went to bathe. Omg. So freaking tired :/
Woke up at 5am yesterday to give someone wake up call then fell asleep straight after I hung up.
After that, I only got up at around 9plus. Clement came over and we just watched anime till lunch time :D

Okay, I watched anime he went to sleep -.-
Had lunch and watched movie. Daddy cooked us crabs too :D:D:D
Then chiong to bathe and rushed to bowl.
I met a very nice uncle who was bowling at the lane next to mine. He saw me struggling with my new ball and he gave me advice and taught me slowly(: YAY! THANK YOU NICE UNCLE!
But still, I bowled VERY badly. Worst in these few months. I still can't get used to my new ball.

In the end I got so demoralised I bowled lousier and lousier till I don't know what. Rah.
I need to buck up yo? New balls not an excuse anymore.

After bowling, we headed back home then sent Clement to the mrt. Haha, very rare that I'll send him you know. Okay lah, main reason was cause I was going to meet Jason. Mm, met him at the CC and watched him play bball. Gosh, the bball feels so weird in my hands now. First ball I shot, air ball. How cool is that. Really! The bball feels damn foreign to me now dammit :( I need to call my bball khakis out to play already. Tsk.

Met Jason for around an hour then went home. Tide called for don't know what and Jason and Tide were talking on MY phone. Haha, have no idea what they were talking about cause it was all in dialect. So Tide has finally found his sweetheart. Haha, not bad eh? Mm, went home, had dinner and KO till now.

Going to school tomorrow for a new dance prac. Dammit. It's hard remembering my OGL dance. Even though I choreographed 2 out of 3 dances. I need to recall. Zzz. And tomorrow I'm learning another two new dances. Sigh.








HELLOOOOO CHIMPANZEE! :D


Okay, I think this face is hilarious.




Some ah lian sitting there I know.


I like my shoes yo!


BFF :D


On the first day in Sabah going to our hotel.




It was kor's suggestion to have this pose.


Both of us playing PSP.






Hello boyf! HAHA.


FAMILY!


Mountain top mountain top!


After the treacherous climb up the mountain, we finally reached to treetop walk. Spot our tour guide in orange in the background:D


It's way high up there I tell you.




I miss my old hair dammit.


This is how cool it was. Like what my brother said, something like Resident Evil. Was damn creepy with the fog and few street lamps.


EARLY MORNING:D
Time: 12:33 AM

Mm, had weird dreams all the way. Woke up early and suppose to go bowling with Ying but the lanes were all used for tournaments which will only end at 12plus so I gave it a miss. Watched anime with her then headed down to Westmall to return my long overdue library books then to Bugis for Ying to do her facial. I sat there for THREE whole hours -.-

I seriously wonder how I ever survived that lah. Those who knows me well will know that I can never be left alone not even for 5mins. Or else I'll rot. Well, I was suppose to meet Hwee but... Nevermind.

After that, we grabbed some finger food and headed down to lakeside to find pig. Mm, bought the same bottle of alcohol and today, it didn't have any effect on me. I swear that last time I got a bit tipsy was because I haven't drunk for a long time. Went to pig's house to stone and watch tv. Ying actually fell asleep. Omg, see her sleep so soundly I didn't dare to wake her up till it was time to leave. She must be so so tired ):

WELL I NEEDED MY SLEEP TOO BUT APPARENTLY SOME PIG REFUSED TO LET ME SLEEP AND KEPT DISTURBING ME. Grrr. Left pig's house at 7plus, cabbed to different places. He went to meet his friends, I went home then ying was the last to alight. Mm.

Alright, I've finally got my Sabah photos :D But there are still a lot more in the video camera but I'm too lazy to upload right now. Yawns. I miss my old hairstyle. Dammit. I'm gonna keep my hair long till I'm able to cut that hairstyle again. Hmph.

I'm so tired dammit.
Guess what, a lesbian sms-ed me and asked if she can woo me and she'd wait for my reply :/
Uhh, okayyy... I've enough guys falling for me and now girls too. Sigh.


I really wanted to meet you. Somehow. But I already knew since last week, that when Saturday comes, we won't meet in the end. I guess I was right. It's no use trying to lie to myself about some things. I'll pass the presents to you through someone else cause I know no matter what, we won't meet. Sigh, you're online and I don't dare to talk to you. No idea why but yeah.
You can say I have attitude or something but I guess not. If only you know what's happening.
Time: 8:43 PM

Hello:D Here are the photos from like long long ago. I still don't have photos we took in Sabah cause it's with korkor and he's currently in KL now. Yup.

Out with my parents and Clement







At the airport before departure from S'pore





In Sabah















AC sleeping on my bed





And yeah the ONLY picture with my current hairstyle.

Time: 8:08 PM