I overslept today): Was in a rush that I even wore my socks inside out :/
Bah, the whole night I was trying to finish my Socratic seminar, my chi compo, econs project and math revision. Obviously I failed to do so.

Stayed back after school till 6plus? Doing the project. Tonight ZhangLi and I both won't be sleeping at all and we will chiong this project. Tomorrow's the lecture. Bah. I'm so shagged. Oh, for no reason my back was really hurting a lot today, or rather since yesterday. Every step I take with my right foot, will cause this sharp pain in my back. I just went to see the sinseh and he helped me to crack my back? o.O That's something I can do at home what. Thing is, it still hurts.

OH, I've decided not to close up my top ear hole. It went without a ear stick for 12 hours or more... SO THIS MORNING.... heh, I decided to open it up again. Tried to find the front hole but I couldn't so Mel helped me. At first she said that the front hole was closed but I just heck and asked her to pierce through. Next was the back hole that's closed. Back hole I had to do it myself so la dee dum dum I poke here poke there till I think that was the spot and just poked through. Yes, it was OUCH! But still....

No, I'm not in a good mood. Yes, I'm telling the truth. I'm feeling so f*cked up right now. So screw it. I've no idea why I'm saying all these but I'm on the verge of just screaming. Just scolded Clement to f*ck off and shut up. Cause he said he was shagged and want to go sleep and I just lost it. As in, hello? I've been deprived of sleep for 2 months and you come telling me this?!

HE failed his IPPT anyway. Not like I will care right now. YL is out of hospital. Loads of people are getting sick/are sick. Okay, my back still hurts. I'm sick of all this shit I'm facing. You talk to me when u feel like it. You dump me when u feel like it. AWW FUCK.































Photos up already:D Tired. Going to do my project now. BYEBYE!
Time: 11:10 PM

Suddenly I'm listening to emo songs all over again )': I want to laugh and smile from my heart all over again. I wish for so many things that never happened. I wish for so many things not to happen. I want to ask you ONE question, one which means so much to me but I don't dare. Where is the guy I once knew? The guy I knew when I went over to your house? I've not changed, you have.

I feel so stupid, that given our status, I could still fall for you. Why? I have no idea too. Thinking back it seems so ridiculous but at the same time it hurts. Cause I don't look at our status but who we are. I know you're regretting every single thing you promised me last time, you regret saying that you liked me, and you regret holding my hand. I never regretted though. Yes, it hurts to know the truth. You will never get to read this post anyway. I wish one day, you would hold my hand again but this time, I will never let go of your hand. Not for anything. I just need you beside me.

That's all.
Time: 5:07 PM

My internet has been down since yesterday afternoon. I don't know why. Photos which I took on Sat are not ready yet, so sorry. I'm on the verge of breaking down. With so many things not done and all. Chi compo not done, Socratic seminar not done, ting xie not learnt, IH powerpoint not completed and a few more homework. All these due tomorrow:/ Wish me luck man. I'm so gonna die especially for Chem and Higher Chi tutorials. I'm so scared I can't finish them):

Yesterday, I had to miss my glass painting lesson in Taka just for my project. Mum thinks I did it on purpose but like since when would I ever give up art and craft for books? This is really the first time. Sigh. Went to KAP for 5 mins, realised that it was too crowded so I met ZhangLi outside the hostel. Initially we wanted to go to the hostel to do but in the end, we ended up coming to my house and do. So whole day do that project. Clement was in a bad mood in the day, I was in a bad mood in the night.

Yes, I've learnt to realised something which Jer told me last night. Was on the ph with Jer, crying? BAH. Lousy me. It's the first time that I broke down since a few days after OBS and maybe the first time I cried over the phone while talking to him? I really don't understand why things are meant to be this way, the truth hurts a lot yes, i know. Ying called me too and said something which made me even bah bah black sheep and cry even more :/ Maybe somehow, it was all just a lie? You don't seem to care as much as I do.

'What hurts the most, was being so close'

Ohyes, I've decided to close the top ear hole. Cause it got infected really badly and it hurts like shit. One of my worst holes ever :/ Sigh. Oh, and I had to go through this fear that I lost my Ipod but I've found it already! Yay! My back still hurts a lot by the way. Have no idea why. It just hurts. I really hope nothing is wrong with my back. I still want to dance ):

After school I took a ride in Jiayi's mum's car. Got motion sickness cause of the leather smell I guess. Got off at westmall and I nearly vomited. Waited for Alex to come at 5plus? Then talked to him and all. It was damn crap lah. He confiscated my hair tie and specs? o.O Weird kid having fun. Thing was, I could smell smoke on him which is @#$*%&@!^#$. First he denied then he admitted that he smoked at 2plus. My nose is really sensitive to such stuff and he knows it. Grr.

When sending me home,

Him: (returns me my bag but still holds on to my lappy) Okay, byebye.
Me: EH, I need my laptop to do project!
Him: Aiyah, your laptop can go throw into rubbish bin liao lah.
Me: (shows third finger _|_ )

(Have no idea why I'm becoming so Ah Lian these days)

I'm really tired, emotionally and mentally. I wish you could be there supporting me, the way I was there for you when you were at the lowest points of your life. But I know all these would be my wishful thinking. I love you more than I love myself. All comes to naught when you never cared a single shit about how I would feel. I was dumb, dumb to fall in love with you. Now you leave me heartbroken, not once but many times. Do you know how hard it is to smile when I met you? Do you know how much I wanted to look at you but avoided your gaze instead? I wish, I really wish. One day, I have the courage to tell you what I feel deep inside. One day, just one day. Then maybe, you will understand what I've been through.

Okay, time to chiong again. Seriously don't provoke me till this week's over. I'm not in my best moods though I'm trying to go to school every day with a smile. Sigh. Homework and projects here I come!
Time: 9:53 PM

Today is a army-guys-pangseh-girls day -.-

Started out with me having bio lessons in school at 8am. However Ms.Tay was late so our lessons which was supposed to be from 8-9am, became 8.25am to 8.55am (she let us off early?). One hour plus travelling time to and fro just for half an hour of lesson. Kinda dumb eh? After lessons, I went out of school and waited for Clement to come then went home with him. Played his PSP the whole journey. Whee. He came over to my house and I didn't tell my parents :D My mum saw me and him walking towards the door and gave me that 'what-the-fuck' look and I just kept laughing. Had my breakfast and bathed before I left the house again.

Went to the mrt station to meet Ying and said byebye to Clement. Ying and I went to Vivo first to get white chocolates. Don't ask me why the hell I have to go all the way to Vivo to get them when I can just get them from shop n save. Well, I guess I wanted to get a more meaningful chocolate? Hmm, kinda got 'pangseh-ed' by someone cause apparently he wanted to sleep instead of just coming down to the mrt station to meet me ._. But later on in the day that someone did meet me so it wasn't REALLY considered ps, so yeah.

Left Vivo and headed down to Tampines to meet up with YL. On the way though, when I was at Tanah Merah, he called to say he couldn't meet me till later cause his sister just got involved in a motorbike accident and he's going to see her now. Uhhuh, so went to Tampines and got ps-ed too but I don't blame him :D Hope his sister is alright:/ He said her leg was really bad and it kinda reminded me of.... Haha, nevermind. So yes, on the way there, I didn't know where to go so I called Tide and he said he was at Tampines!

Me: Where are you now?
Him: Tampines. I just booked out.
Me: OH GOOD! STAY DOWN THERE AND DON'T MOVE! I come and find you now.
Him: Huh? Where are you now?
Me: On the way to Tampines. Reaching soon.
Him: Why on earth you come Tampines?
Me: AIYAH! Come to see you lah. Don't ask liao. Stay there hor!

Haha, so yes. Went to go find Tide and Gary was with him too. First thing they did was go smoke at the stairs which was rah rah. I went with them for less than 2 mins and I told them to call me after they are done cause I want to go shopping. Seriously, I can't stand people who smoke in front of me except for one person only. After that, we slacked at macs for awhile before heading to Boon Lay. Whole journey was crap. Gary took my ipod in exchange for Tide's ipod. His songs were all techno? Almost all. I don't mind techno but if I keep hearing it over and over again I will go crazy.

Reached Boon Lay and they went to smoke again and this time I was with them. Stood quite far away from them when they smoked. Then their friends came and after awhile there were like 8 people in the alley we were in, smoking? Majority were girls and so I got kinda pissed cause Tide was also asking if I wanted to smoke, I walked off with Ying. Ate my lunch there and left JP to go to Causeway point. Tide and Gary pang-seh me lah, they didn't bother finding me after I left. Zzz. Some nice korkors I have eh?

Before we reached Jurong East to change train to go Woodlands, I called that someone and asked where he was and he said Bugis. So I told him I'll go find him today because I won't be going out tomorrow. So headed down to Bugis instead, met him, passed him his chocolates and left. I wanted to talk but with Ying there and his friend too, it just wasn't right:/

Alex told me to meet him at Westmall so Ying and I went there. Sat at coffeebean and drank while waiting. Till Alex called and said he would come really late cause he needed to pass medicine to his mum at her workplace. So there, I got pang-seh-ed again. ): He said he would come and fetch me from school and send me home on Monday but I don't think I will want that, so yeah.

Then I just came straight home and poof. Today is really army guys pangseh girls day. Ying's 2 army friends ps her today and I got ps by 3 army guys. Only the one who is not in army but still serving army (figure it out yourself) didn't ps me in the end. Bad day today -shakes head-

Home --> Harbour Front (ps by someone) --> Tampines (ps by YL) --> Boon Lay (ps by Tide) --> Bugis (met someone) --> Bukit Batok (ps by Alex) --> Home
I've travelled on the RED line, GREEN line and even the PURPLE line. WOW. 0.O

Alright, photos up tomorrow. I'm lazy today. Got three projects to finish. Haha, wish me luck!

You made my heart skip so many beats today. My hands turned cold and I was so scared. I'm so scared of making ONE tiny mistake, that might lead to another cold war between us.
Time: 7:42 PM

I wish that everything will be prefect.
Define perfect? Only my heart knows.

I'm not feeling well today. Had dizzy-ness since morning so I just sat in class being real quiet. Yes, and my whole morale was all the way down because of some stuff last night which included Alex kbkb me over the phone. I can tolerate but it's seriously reaching the peak already. After school, I met Ying and we walked around our neighbourhood. I wanted to reminiscent about the past where we used to play at after school but I had no energy, no mood, no emotions. So we just walked about, talked and zoned out (for me). Met Omirah who evidently forgot my name, some kind of abang eh?

I have loads to type out here but somehow, I don't have the courage to. There's a limit to everything so those people who think that I'm talking about you, please don't go over that limit. Especially my tolerance limit, because if you go over, I'll will curse and swear at you for all that's worth.

Many people out there love someone with all their heart but do you know what hurts the most? It's not seeing the person you love, love someone else. It's not seeing the person you love walk away. It's not being unable to be with that person. The thing that hurts the most is not being able to tell that very same person, 'I love you' but all you can do is watch him/her from afar, praying and hoping that one day, he/she will find out that you really love him/her with all your heart. Treasure those around you, cause you never know when you will lose them.

I never want to stop being friends just because a guy says he loves me and I don't love him or just because I broke up. Life is not about love, it's the process which guides you along. This process is called friendship. Only with friendship can true love bosom. The story below may be common but every time I think about it, I will feel damn sad ):

One night, a guy was bringing his girlfriend out for a spin on his motorbike. The speed at which they were going was way beyond the normal speed limit and the girlfriend was really scared. Then they came to a slope and they gradually gained speed but the guy still refused to brake.

Girl: (screaming) PLEASE SLOW DOWN! IT'S REALLY GETTING TOO FAST!
Boy: I think it's alright, don't be so scared.
Girl: No!! Please, slow down!
Boy: Okay, but you must listen to what I say,
Girl: Okay! Anything you say! Just slow down.
Boy: First take the helmet off my head and wear it. It's getting very irritating.
Girl: (takes off helmet and puts it on her own head)
Boy: Tell me that you love me.
Girl: (screams) I LOVE YOUUU!
Boy: Next, hug me tight and hold on.
Girl: AT THIS TIME? Okay, I will. (hugs him tight)

That fateful night, the boy realised that his brakes were not working when they were going down the slope. With only one helmet between the both of them, he'd rather save the one he loves than himself. The boy gave her the helmet to wear so at least she had a protection and he asked her to say, 'I love you' and hug him one last time because it would be the very last chance he has. Soon after, they crashed and the boy died immediately but the girl survived.

To those out there: Tell your partner how much you really love them when you still have the chance. You never know what will happen next and the feeling of not being able to tell the person you love how much you love him/her every day, is not something you would wish to experience.

P.S. What you're doing is really getting on my nerves. I'm not letting go only for one thing - friendship. Somehow, you are going overboard. I have my limits. Don't test them. Thank You.

P.S.S. This is a small fraction of what I've been trying to repress deep in my heart. Okay, time for me to stop being emo and put the fake smile on my face (: YAY!
Time: 6:24 PM

P.s. I'm sorry I played the wrong song! Haha, I think you got pissed off that's why you hung up on me:/ HEH. SORRY!

Woke up with an irritated nose this morning at a freaking 5am! ): Kept sneezing and all till it was time to get ready to go to school. Went for bowling meeting and the cost has increased to 60 bucks per month. I should just go and dance instead.

I'm starting to lose track of what's happening in Chemistry already. Sigh. School ended at 1pm today because parent-teacher meeting starts at 1pm. Hmm, headed down to causeway point to pierce my ears again. :D I've got 6 ear holes now. If only I've kept my other 7 holes, I would have 13 holes now. GRR. IF ONLY. I can't wait to get a belly piercing. WHEE.

Okay, after piercing, I went down to CCK and waited for Ying. Met Justin on the way home. Ying is in front of me now, studying for her SS paper tomorrow. BAH.

I'm feeling so stressed up? HMM.


Yes, one of the rare photos you can see me wearing specs.



You make me look forward to night time every day<3
Time: 4:15 PM

Ever stopped for awhile in your hectic daily life, to think about the people who cared for you?
Ever stopped to wonder have you thanked all those people who made a difference to your life?
We are so busy nowadays we start to take things for granted each day, thinking that nothing will change or disappear. If one day, I were to lose my close friend, the only thing I would regret was not telling that friend I loved him/her and I really appreciate him/her for being my friend.

I thank God for the friends I have and I thank all the friends I have for being my friend (:

Friendship is a precious gift that can't be bought or sold.
Its value is far greater than mountains made of gold.
If you would ask God for a gift, be thankful if He sends not diamonds, pearls or riches
But the love and trust of friends.

Last night, someone said something. Be it that someone said it subconsciously or consciously, it made me smile from my heart. Something which I have not been able to do for a long time. It's just once, but it's little things like this that makes me smile(:

Went out with J after school and had dinner. Then slacked about. What we did today was dumb but still, we got to talk to each other. Haha. Okay, I'm 50 bucks poorer ): Just lent my bro the money. Bah. I need to buck up on my results. Seriously.

My desired subject combination:
H3 - English Literature
H2 - Math, Physics, Econs
H1 - History
GP and PW

Econs and History are not confirmed. I'm seeing which one is more useful to me. Sigh. Given my current results, I can't take H2 Math and MAYBE physics too. Die, need to pia like mad already.
Okay, after this freaking project, I'm going to change this blogskin again. ONCE I'VE GOT THE TIME. Grr.
Time: 9:40 PM

Yesterday I was chatting (sms and on the ph) till around 12.45am till I really couldn't tahan anymore then went to sleep. School was umm, sleepy as usual I guess. After school, went to find Mr Ho for our project thing and then walked to the bus stop with ZhangLi. She bought me an ice cream to eat :D YAY!

Sad thing was, I had to miss my bus. I just got my ice cream when 66 came and I was like, AIYAH. heck! and tried to hide the ice cream behind my wallet. Apparently the bus driver saw and before he opened the door he was giving me this cold stare that says something like 'I DARE YOU TO STEP INTO THIS BUS WITH THE ICE CREAM' and it was so scary I didn't board it:/ HAHA. Not exaggerating here alright! Even ZhangLi said she saw the bus driver glaring at me. Ohman, it was really hilarious.

Well, talked to ZhangLi who was nice and waited till my second bus came before leaving (: Went over to JE to meet up with Ying. I've been going to the library practically every week:/ Couldn't find the books I needed for my project. As luck would have it, my handphone died on me again. Nowadays, I will bring my charger everywhere I go so yeah, charged my phone in the library.HAHA. Tried having a long distance call to Quan but apparently he DOESN'T want to talk to me. GRRR. Haha.

After that, I went to buy a new uhh, dress? Yup. This is when I got pissed.

I took train from JE to Bt.Batok (one stop away) and got down and went to westmall to wait for Alex to book out.
10 mins later, Alex called and told me to go CCK to meet up instead at 6.15pm. Pissed, I went to take bus cause the mrts were really crowded. Took bus down and arrived at 6.14pm. THEN, I received MISTER KNS AH PEK's sms saying I can don't meet Alex already cause they haven't booked out yet and by the time they do, I've gotta go home. So, I called Alex and his hp was off.

Asked MISTER KNS AH PEK where Alex was and he said confirm smoking outside. Which pissed me off real badly I took the next bus home. And all this happened in 5mins. SO I WENT ALL THE WAY TO CCK AND WITHIN 5 MINS, I AM GOING BACK ON THE SAME ROUTE -.- In the end, Alex came sms-ing saying he really couldn't make it blahblah. zzz.

Cam-whored with Ying. Photos tmr though. Lazy :D

These are photos taken last time but have always been in my handphone.


Mugging session during ASS week.


Early in the morning mugging :D






NDP rehearsal pictures.












Time: 8:46 PM

My panda eyes are getting so so much worser): Well, wanted to post yesterday but apparently I couldn't because I was on the phone most of the time. Bah. Yesterday was another sleepy day. Those who came back from Germany were suffering from jet lag in class which was really funny.
School was so so. With my phone running out of batt once I reached school -.- Nowadays, I bring my handphone charger with me wherever I go in case my phone screws up. Was on the way home yesterday when Jer called asking where I was and that he was really bored in school and wants to go out. So I waited for him at Westmall. Went to get something to eat and drink then see him cut hair. HAHA. He got high after sugar rush making him mental but that's not the point. We were just mad.

After that, went home. Was expecting dinner at home but there wasn't anyone at home? Damn, should have just stayed with Jer longer. Stoned around the whole house till I finally couldn't take it and fell asleep. Parents came back at 8plus? Without dinner that is so mummy had to cook for me.

Called YL to chat with and debating about stupid stuff. Alex being pissed off cause he thinks that YL took my number from him and is contacting me (YL is Alex's bunk mate). Mt calling me saying he knows who my other navy friend is and that he got sore eyes which is so not true -.- Talking to - till he fell asleep as usual :D

Thought of the day: If someone really wants you to know something, he/she will tell it to you willingly and you don't have to force it out of him/her. Respect each other's decisions (:

Okay, I need to go prepare for school. So byebye(: Will post again tonight. If I have the energy to.
Time: 6:02 AM

Jiayou to my dearest ying for prelims which start tomorrow. I'm sure you can do it (:

Today was uhh, slack? I didn't accomplish much. Except the continuous nagging at my brother to quickly finish reading the Harry Potter book. He went to queue up at like 4am in the morning? Madness. Clement came over today and we basically just slacked and all. BURPS. We ate a lot too, come to think of it.

On the phone with -. AND IT'S THE 7TH TIME HE HAS HUNG UP ON ME! Gosh. Okay, maybe more than that. Alright, just got off the phone with him. Haha, I don't know if he was sleeping or what but I was just playing songs for him on my lappy and he kept silent. Until he suddenly say he's going to sleep already :/

Mt tried talking to me. Bah, I'm sorry. HEEEEE. Nevermind. Alex's friend got my number and somehow is sms-ing me now. Rah.

Time now is 11.04pm. I shall go eat my medicine and call Alex. My back suddenly hurt like shit today. ): Seeing sin seh tomorrow. Goodnight everyone (:
Time: 10:17 PM

I'm super duper ultra tired ): Was supposed to meet Ying at 9.45am but my contact lens screwed up and after that it rained damn heavily and my cousin called to say she was coming over to collect something so I had to stay at home till she came. Cause my parents left me alone to have breakfast outside?

I feel proud of myself today cause I finished most of my homework :D Met Eric and he was there mugging too o.O Ying and I were trying to eat our lunch in the library without getting caught. HOHO. Tide was supposed to come and find me and blah blah but in the end he couldn't make it.

Tide: My girl ah, sorry leh. Today really cannot meet you le.
Me: Orh, okay lor.
Tide: My next book out I promise I sure come and find you okay?
Me: I then don't want to see you liao ah.
Tide: Walau, like that then gen wo fan lian ah? (fall out with him)
Me: Haha, YALAH!
Tide: Eh, cannot like that lah my girl. I dote on you the most one leh.

HAHA, I don't know why he keeps saying my girl o.o
Now don't anyhow think okay! Tide has been my korkor for 4 years now that's why I'm so close to him :D

Wheee. Left the library at 6pm, headed down to JP. Struggling under the weight of my lappy and my super huge bag filled with books): I pierced another two more holes. OMG, YELLOW IS FREAKING WANT TO CHEAT PEOPLE'S MONEY LAH!

Normal ear hole - $5 (inclusive of stud)
Pierce at the top - $8 (inclusive of stud)
Medicine water (1 TINY bottle) - $2.50

Last time I only paid $4 for both top and bottom lah. Sheesh. In the end I went to 77th Street.

Ear hole - $5 (inclusive of stud and medicine water)

If I went to Yellow, I would have paid $15.50 for TWO holes and ONE bottle of medicine.
However I only paid $10 for TWO HOLES and TWO bottles of medicine. Luckily I went to 77th street.

So yes, got four holes now. Going to pierce another two more when these two recovers. Clement ain't going to be happy. He was showing me attitude over the phone just now cause my ears are kinda sensitive and they get infected REALLY easily :/

Studying feels oh-so-great. I'm aiming for my overseas law scholarship. That's my aim. I'm going to make it happen. I WILL make it happen (: Anyone want to date me out for a mugging session? WHEEEEEEEE.

I can't upload photos ): Screw it. My photoshop ain't working on my lappy. I have to go downstairs to use the desktop and I can't find the installation CD for my handphone so I have to go downstairs too to upload the photos in my phone to the com. Lazy today. Shall do it tomorrow :D

Please don't ask me why the post today sounds so Singlish cause I have no idea too!
Time: 9:08 PM

Am really sick now ): Been coughing and sneezing non stop since a few hours ago.

Was talking to Tide, Alex and - last night.
Conversation with Alex got a bit out of hand and ended up both of us getting pissed and all.
Conversation with Tide was alright with him telling me about his personal secrets and all.
Conversation with - was okay and I'm really thankful that at least I still can talk to him.

Haha, 3 conversations with 3 different guys in 3 different army camps. SO FUN :D But as usual, I overslept. It's really not my fault though! My dreams were really nice so I wanted to continue them. Whee. Tried super hard to stay awake in school. Fell asleep in class once or twice. After school I met Ying. She's sick and still refuse to see a doctor.

Walked about Lot1 with her then she came over to my house to study. Talked to Tide for awhile. Think most probably he'll be coming to find me after he books out tomorrow. Hmm. Ying left at 8.45pm. Alex and - called later on and talked to them for awhile only.

Oh yes, I was super upset with my mum. She knows how much I love dancing and she's just making my life miserable. Sigh. I really need my dance badly.

And I need time to do up a new blog skin. I was thinking of just drawing one but I'm too lazy and I'd bet anything it will turn out ugly ): Alright, shall sleep now. Meeting Ying tomorrow morning to study. Goodnight everyone!
Time: 11:27 PM

I just got off the phone with Alex. Our conversation started well, with his friend coming to talk to me halfway -.- then it ended with Alex hanging up on me which pissed me off so yeah. Both Alex and I are in a bad mood now. Shall wait for Tide to call me at 10pm. At least I hope he can talk crap and cheer me up (:

Today I tried really hard not to freeze to death and not to fall asleep in class. After school, I went to Causeway Point with Sam and caught Harry Potter. Not really nice if you read the book inside out cause they changed a lot of stuff still, Sam and I were freezing in the cinema. Walked about with her after that then went home.

Friends are important in one's life. I'm thankful I have such good friends around me and I've been a good friend to others too (Thankyou TianYe for that sms).

Sam: What's your favourite colour?
Me: Depends on my mood lah.
Sam: What mood what colour?
Me: If I feel punk rockish, I take black and white. If I feel sweet and all, I take purple and pink and the list goes on lah.
Sam: OH, so yesterday you were feeling sweet cause you took the pink and purple balloons home! Then today you feel a bit punk rockish cause everything you looked at just now was black and white!
Me: UHHHH, KINDAAAAAAAAA.


Haha, crap lah. Okay! Tide's calling in now. Haven't talked to him for ages! BYEBYE:D
Time: 8:46 PM

Just came home not long ago. Totally beat!

Nearly overslept. Luckily daddy woke me up. Back is getting worse and even more painful. J says I should go have an X-Ray done. HMM. Went to school, slacked about.

There ain't lessons today cause it's NJC Community Service Day cum Racial Harmony Day. So we had visitors which are the elderly from the old folks home and kindergarten kids? :D We got the kids and they were all so cute! Aw.

I was busy sms-ing ah pek and monster in the LT. Haha, both of them were stoning at the back of the LT and monster was sleeping. At the end of the whole event, I sneaked up behind him and scared him. Was really funny. All his friends were laughing too. Whee.

After that strayed around in school with Sam till it was time for bowling exco interview. Finished at around 2.30pm? Then went to class and saw Liyana and Huiting practicing their speeches for their dance exco elections. Slept in class till 4pm before leaving school.

Phone was out of batt. AS USUAL. Waited for J at jurong east to knock off from work then we went to eat dinner. Walked about the entertainment center than headed to IMM and walk about. Rah. After that we went home :D

My photoshop is no longer working. Don't know why ):
But I still have photos :D I need to install my handphone software into this lappy soon.
Got loads of photo in my handphone I haven't uploaded yet :/
I'm in desperate need of a new camera. Saw one for 700bucks.
Anybody care to sponsor?

AND AGAIN. PEOPLE SAID IM BLACK ): USE TANN LAH. It's a nicer word than black ):

Felicia: Walau, shujun you damn black now lah.
Me: Don't use the word black leh. It's not black. Must use tanned.
Felicia: But it's really black lah! It's not even tanned!


Eugenia and I.


Being bored in the LT.


Can't see Ama's earrings. Hers is striking RED, mine is striking BLUE and KT is striking PINK.


THE KIDS!!!












Slacking at grandstand.


Sam and I. Like the sticker on my face? :D I like it (:


On the upper deck of the bed (my bed). All four of us during OBS. We were super scared the bed would collapse:/


Steven, Charlyn, Lynna, Ama and I. I look - in specs I know.


The guy is FUDI! My kayaking partner :D who got bullied by me the whole journey. Whee.



I miss camps. REALLY. Haha, maybe I really should become a camp instructor. HMM.
Can I say I love you?
Time: 7:21 PM

Every one who saw me today said I looked BLACK. No one said TANNED. -.-
Even teachers too and Mr. Eng was like, now your skin colour is almost the same as your hair colour ._.

My back is @#$%$#% painful ): School was a torture. I had to take close to 5mins to sit down on the canteen bench and wait for the pain to subside before I could eat my food. Felt damn useless cause I can't move fast nor do certain things myself like bend down to pick up something that dropped.

Talked to Alex last night till he fell asleep over the phone -.- Then woke up blahblah. Back hurts and all. School was okay. I got back all my results already.

I'm kinda disappointed with my LA and PHY cause I was aiming A+/A but I got B+ and B respectively ): Other than that, I failed papers here and there but overall results still passed.

After school, KT, ama and I were friendster hopping and blog hopping. Till 4.30pm go for HA meeting. Then went home where we saw this really cute - guy (I won't say his school). Got down at Westmall and we walked about. We are so so broke ):

Just came home. My back is killing me. People in WM were just pushing their way through. Ouch. I'm alone at home AGAIN. Should have eaten dinner out. Damn.
Time: 6:55 PM

For those who are lazy to read the ELABORATED post on OBS which is in BLUE, you can read this summary.

Injuries I got includes:
- A finger with some torn off meat and skin
- One blister
- Broken fingernail that nearly got infected
- A toe with a 3/4 broken nail
- Deep cuts on my legs because the waves made me crash into the rocks while I was holding on to the kayaks
- A sprained back which I don't know how I got it but I can't walk properly
- A few mozzie bites here and there.

Stupid stuff I did in camp:
- Dropped the cap of my body foam bottle into a drain
- Opened my eyes when I jumped into the sea
- And the rest I don't remember.

Basically this camp was FUN FUN FUN (: Height elements and the sea especially.
For high elements:

1) I managed to complete walking on two ropes 5m above ground with no support except the rope I'm being belayed on and also another two obstacles.

2) Climbed all the way to the top and walked down on a log that was sloping downwards then walk up on another one sloping upwards. Without support also and the logs could move. I didn't hold on to my rope this time. It was around 3 storeys high.

3) Climbed, swing and jumped all the way up to the top which was 4 storeys high. This was the hardest cause sometimes I really had to use only my right hand to swing me up the stupid obstacles and even jump across.

But still, I managed to do it :D

Sea activities:

1) Sailed for 3 days 2 nights. Got caught in a storm which was really scary but cool.

2) Kayak-ed through mangrove and over mud banks and of course the sea.

Everything was fun. Okay, I did get emo on the first day there lah. When doing the height elements, I used him as my motivation to push me on. But the first night, I cried. Other than that, I'm either sleeping with KT or Ama during the nights. I love night talks <3

Ama said, the camp changed me (?) On the first and last day she asked what happened if - don't sms me or something like that. Both my responses were different. Yes, he didn't sms me. What can I do? He's at a loss. Not me. He lost someone who really cared and loved him. I lost someone who doesn't give a damn about me, that's a gain (: It hurts badly but really, what can I do?

My back is hurting real badly ): Clement came over yesterday to find me at the doctor's when he found out I was injured. First thing I did when I went home was quarrel with him over the phone. I scolded him like shit about certain stuff and he cried and argued back too. Bah, mummy heard us quarreling and when both of us were on the phone and not talking, she told me to hang up cause if Clement really cared about me, he would call me and not make me quarrel with him. Zz. Never go to school today cause I'm on MC. Stupid. And now I can't leave the house to go town with Ama and KT cause I'm alone at home ):

Ying: I missed you badly girl. Especially when I needed to talk to someone who understood what I've been through. I'm sorry I didn't call you last night but I was already dozing off in bed. Now that I'm back, I will keep to my word. Study with you and give you motivation. WE will jiayou together and strive. You must do your best to come into NJ while I will try my best to remain in NJ. Want to go out with you soon <3

Going to change my blog skin soon. When I have the time. Now is to finish my damn chi homework. Photos taken in OBS up when I get them.

Day1 (Monday)

Was kinda late cause the taxi that I pre-ordered didn't turn up so the taxi company found another cab to come. Went over to ama's house to fetch her then we went to school. Took us to jetty then boat to OBS and then we played a few ice breaker games. Following that we were separated into three different watched. KaiTing and Char were in the same watch while Ama and I were in one:/

They were Gandhi, Sheares and Kim San (my watch). So yeah, our instructor was Gideon. Ama and I call him jungle man. While I said that - was jungle monkey. Okay, nevermind. WE got shown to our bunks and the first activity was high elements. Something which I don't like much ):

OH, the first activity of the day which is the rope swinging was horrible. First time I swung and part of my skin on my finger was ripped off halfway and it bled. Second time I swung, the whole skin plus a bit of flesh came out and it bled more. After putting plaster, I swung the third time and by the end, you can see the plaster was red. HEH. And I had another wound on my other finger. ACCIDENT PRONE ME.

Then we moved on to high elements. First we walked through the elements on low ground. To familiar ourselves with it. Then we moved on to the high one which was around 3-5m above ground? I was like freaking out and I didn't want to go. But still did in the end. It's scary when you are climbing up and all but I guess after that it's fun :D

After finishing the last and final one which I nearly fell over but managed to balance on one rope, I tried the even higher one. Okay, I was kinda cheated lah. From the bottom it looked like two STRAIGHT logs but when I went up there, the logs were sloping down and up. I was like, 'OH MY GOSH! WHY NO ONE SAY IT'S SLOPING DOWNWARDS?!' But I still completed it :D That one was around 3 storeys high.

After high elements we bathed and had dinner. Then went to learning rooms to learn the different knots and lashings. Learnt all before except one or two. After that we just slacked till night time. Talked to KT by the roads and cried. Luckily she was there for me when I really needed someone to talk to. Just kept crying cause I felt so lost and everything. For the high elements, I used - as my motivation to push myself forward and even to the highest element there. So no choice but I kept remembering him. What I really regretted was not having the chance to say goodbye to him.

Midnight celebrations for Char. Actually all four of us (Char, KT, Ama and I) were on my bed waiting for midnight to come. Till Steven came in and chased them back to their own bunks and forced us to sleep ): But still Ama and I sneaked out near midnight and met Char and KT in the toilets. Then we sang a birthday song and did videos for her :D After that we went back to sleep. I didn't sleep well though. Woke up loads of times.

Day2 (Tuesday)

Pulled Ama to go toilet and wash up at like 4.45am? =x Flag raising at 5.55am then followed by a few games to wake us up, then basic exercises (strengthening) followed by a run. Running upslope was the killer lah. I'd rather run 3 rounds round the track then run one round with upslopes which are really steep and long. Had morning dip which means we go into the sea and get wet (: ZheYu's specs dropped into the sea but we still managed to find it after that. SOMEHOW.

After that we bathed and had breakfast. YLTC's breakfast was much nicer I suppose. After that we went to learning rooms to have leadership profiling. Everyone was on the verge on sleeping. After that we had trekking. This trekking is not the normal kind of trekking where you walk on ready made trails and pavements. We had to find our way to the check points and go INTO the forests to find them. It's just a card with the codes written on them and they can be hung on ANY tree. So you had to really go into the forest, through buzzing insects and all. Was in the same group and WanYun, Lava and Huy. We only managed to find 2 out of 3 because the third one we searched 50m radius and still couldn't find the card.

After trekking we went to kayak. Got the open decked triyaks (three seater). Brought back memories.... AIYAH, nevermind. We had to do capsize drills. Which was something I always dread when kayaking. RAH. So after kayaking, we went to bathe again and went for sailing theory at night. It was all confusing but interesting too. Went back to the bunks to pack for sailing expedition which is 3 days 2 nights. Talked with Ama till Char and KT came back. Then Char went over to Kim San and slept in my bed while I went over to Sheares to sleep with KT. Talked to KT then slept beside her. Weird thing was that Char and Ama die die also refuse to share the same bed. HAHA.

Day3 (Wednesday)

Woke up at 4.30am on request of Char and KT. I didn't have an alarm clock lah. All this is biological alarm clock. Zzz. Woke KT up and went over to my bunk to wake Char and Ama up. It was damn hilarious trying to wake them up. Pt was crap. I got leg cramps which was shit. Then morning dip where we had our good luck wishes.

Then had breakfast and we got ready the cutter - Vijaya. Halfway preparing, there was a storm so only Gideon, Wan Yun and I were left in the cutter preparing the cutter while the rest took shelter in the buildings. Wanted to bring the cutter into the waters but they said there was lightning so cannot. After the storm stopped, we set sail. Starting was okay, with tankers everywhere and giving us waves which made things so fun. Gideon taught us the various positions and we rowed/sailed to camp1. Reached there and bathed. Stupid shower foam bottle cap dropped into the drain ): Cooked dinner there and we slept on the cutter in the sea :D It was really really fun. You keep feeling the waves go UP and DOWN. Wheeee.

Day4 (Thursday)

Woke up and rowed back to Camp 1 to use the toilet. Then wen back to the cutter to get ready for our morning dip. Everyone stood around the cutter and jumped down. Stupid me don't know why opened my eyes in the sea and I was like, 'Eh? Why I see everything blue colour and it looks like the sea?' Then I was like OHSHIT. WTH I open my eyes in the sea for? RAH. Everyone swam to the bile of the boat and kissed it for good luck and we had our usual circle of good luck wishes. Then climbed back into the cutter and set sail :D

Our destination was Sembawang. Ours was the first boat to get into a storm and though it was really scary but it was really fun! The cutter got so unbalanced that in the end Gideon had to shout 'LET FLY' and that's when we let go of all the ropes we were holding on to so that the cutter could become balanced. We had the Singapore Coastal Guards escorting us out of the storm. Good right? :D

Following that, we had a mini competition with Sheares who caught up with us cause the storm helped them sail faster as the storm they went through wasn't as big as ours. In the end, we were still the first to reach Sembawang :D Before we anchored, we practiced tacking and all. Jie Rui's cap dropped into the sea so we embarked on a 'RESCUE JIERUI'S CAP' mission trip. First time we tacked, we missed the cap. Second time too. Third time, the cap was too far away. Fourth time, Gideon caught it and he ACCIDENTALLY threw it back into the sea -.- After that, we tacked more than 10 times and couldn't find the cap again.

So we anchored and went to pitch our tents there and cooked dinner. No bathing this time. Slept there and though sentry duty screwed up, I think everything was good (:

Day5 (Friday)

Woke up, packed and went back to the cutter. Had morning dip and all before we set off. This time, the instructors will be invisible and won't help us at all so we are on our own. Sailed all the way back to base camp.

Ours was the only watch that rowed only at the start so that we could get further out in the sea before we raised the sails. There were periods of time where there wasn't wind but we just played games on board and waited for the wind to come while other groups kept rowing. Sheares wanted to compete with us but we were to lazy. What's more, they rowed and came in first but we didn't even row throughout the whole journey and we came in one minute after them -.-

Then we packed up and washed everything. Bathed and all. After a quick dinner, Zi Chao (from Gandhi), Zhuo Chun (Sheares) and I (Kim San) went to meet the instructors cause we were the Sea Expedition leaders. We discussed the route for the kayaking trip the next day. We had to cut through the island which means going through mangrove. After all that, got caught by Steven again for staying up. Went to tell him about my back pain and all then went over to sleep with KT again and Sam, KT and I stayed up talking till 1am before we went to sleep.

Day6 (Saturday)

Woke up with the splitting pain in my back. Was damn tired but surprisingly I still woke up at 4.55am on the dot. Had a hard time trying to wake KT beside me but Char was the worst. Went over to the other dorm to wake Ama and Char up. KT was practically hitting Char to wake up but Char dreamt that she was sailing and she kept pulling her blanket up cause she thought she was raising the jib.

PT as usual. I didn't do cause of my back. Then morning dip. After that, changed and got ready for sea expedition. Instructors won't help us. They will just follow us to ensure safety. FuDi, Ama and I were in the same kayak. We remained at the back while the other two leaders led at the front. FuDi sat at the back, I in the middle and Ama at the front.

Fu Di: I tell you a secret okay?
Me: Ya what?
Fu Di: I need to pee.
Me and Ama: WALAU!

In the whole journey FuDi peed like 3 times. TSKKKK. It was hilarious though. Before we went through the mangrove, Ama went over to Jeremy and XiuHui's boat cause Jeremy was a stronger rower. Then both our boats remained at the back. First difficult point was the transportation of kayaks over a road. I felt useless lah. Couldn't carry kayaks cause of my back ): I really wanted to help alright.

Then everyone's kayak was over, we moved on. The front people took the wrong turn somehow and we were made to turn back which ended up me and Jeremy taking lead. Went the right way and found the mud bank. It was really slippery there. When they pushed our boat into the other side (FuDi and I were on the kayak), we nearly capsized :/ But luckily we didn't. Capsize in the sea would be much better than capsizing near a mud bank.

I kept bullying FuDi. HEEEE. But he was nice lah. Let me lie on his legs when I wanted to lie down and rest. He even lend me his hand as a pillow to lie on. Nice right? But as usual, I was playful and kept splashing water at him :D After that, had a huge argument between a few people. Jeremy telling me to go to the front and lead the way cause Zi Chao couldn't lead and all :/ But overall I still remained at the back lah. Quarrels are inevitable I guess.

Finally we were out into the sea again. Then we kayak-ed all the way back. Zi Chao was like wanting to switch Fu Di and Zi Hao around and I was like NO! Zi Hao had back pain and all from kayaking and if you were to put two people with back pain, WALAU. I die in the sea better lah.
And we reached back to base camp before our estimated time by ALOT :D YAY! A lot of people capsized but I refused so FuDi didn't get to capsize. HEH.

After washing kayaks and all, had jetty jump. I didn't jump cause of my back. Then we washed up and bathed and went to have dinner. Then we went into learning rooms again and wrote messages to each other. Went back to our bunks and Ama and I wanted to wait for Shears to come back. But we were so tired we just slept. KT LAH! Never come and wake me up. She heard that I was sleeping already then she went to sleep also -.-

Day7 (Sunday)

Had a REALLY good sleep and I nearly couldn't wake up. Had our last PT and our last morning dip ): Packed our stuff and went to eat breakfast. Last morning circle too. After that we had high elements also. This time in a different context. We were given one and a half hours. There were different courses and at different points, there were different prizes given. Our aim was to hit $40,000. In the end we got $55,500. YAY!

I climbed a short ladder with Ama cause she was scared of heights then later on, I climbed all the way to the top with Sam. This high elements was different cause you had to climb with a partner. Halfway up I was dying. Not only cause I was tired but my back was hurting like shit. Somehow, I felt like a monkey. Haha, cause there were a few points where you practically cannot climb. All you could do was to swing yourself up or jump. There were times where I really jumped and once where I was only hanging on to the log with my right hand while trying to swing up. STILL, I REACHED THE TOP :D

The whole obstacle course was a bit more than 4 storeys high. WOOHOO. Fun fun fun :D That was our last activity of the day. Then we just bathed, clean our dorms, packed our store and all. Had lunch and we sat together as a last time as a watch, reflecting and all. And we are off to Singapore again.

Daddy and mummy came to fetch me and Ama home. Then I ate and got emo somehow. Later, mummy brought me down to the doctors cause of my back while Clement rushed down to see me. Doctor said I got a twisted back :/ BOO. Clement came over and I can't remember what we did cause I was in a half sleepy mode. I know he ate my dinner. I know he used my lappy. My brother got a shock when he came into my room. He asked me something then saw clement sitting beside me on my bed his face was like HAHA hilarious. Then my bro say 'you are black'. I BET HE IS JEALOUS I AM DARKER THAN HIM LAH. Whee.

OH YES! Alex called me. He seemed to change a lot. That pig, tio DB (Detention Barracks) for two months cause he beat up an officer. Stupid idiot. I scolded him. Zz. After that close to 10pm I practically died on bed. Clement had to pack my stuff for me cause of my back. Then put me to bed before he left.
Time: 5:15 PM

I'm back from camp(:
Though there's really nothing I can smile about.
38 sms-es,50 emails, loads of missed calls.
None of them were from him. Not even a goodbye or a take care.
I guess it's really over now. It kinda sucks when you love someone so badly but that someone is just pushing you away.
I didn't know it will hurt so badly. AAAH, I don't want to cry again.

WELL. I'm eating now. Super hungry. Then shall talk on the phone before going to sleep.
It was a 7 days 6 nights OBS camp. Came back with loads of injuries. Now mummy suspects I hurt my kidney and I'm having internal bleeding :/ Going to see a doctor later or something.

Alright, shall post again tomorrow or MAYBE later when and if I wake up.
THERE IS SCHOOL TOMORROW. DAMN, will giving us a day off after camp kill them?
Time: 5:02 PM

My very last post before I leave this house. Dammit. Couldn't post last night cause internet was down and even now it is also kinda down but what the shit.

This post is acutally for someone. What I did yesterday was what I think could be the last thing I could ever do for you that's why I brought it down personally. In that letter is almost everything I can say to you. Please take care and somehow, my hopes after this OBS is actually to receive sms or something from you, to let me know that things between us can still be salvaged. As friends.

Last night, I called just to talk to you for one last time. No one except you will know whether we have a chance to meet and talk to each other after our camps. I've met you the last time yesterday. And I wanted to talk to you over the ph for the last time. Guess life never goes the way you want it be. I did cry last night cause I couldn't talk to you. But nevermind.

Here I am, telling you again, things can be changed is whether you want it or not. Stop running away cause you're making me run away too. The distance between us is big, please don't make things bigger.

Alright, gotta go. Take care and I hope after my OBS, there's something to smile about.
I love you <3
Goodbye.
Time: 6:07 AM

I've been doing loads of serious thinking lately. HEE, shujun is becoming a THINKER.
AHH, whatever.

Apparently I had a very bad night with weird dreams again and sneezing like shit in the middle of the night again ): Damn brain dead now.

Yesterday nothing exciting happened. Just watched 200 pounds beauty (and cried) and V is for Vendetta (a teeny weeny bit violent and gory but still nice) and went to pack my OBS bag.

I THINK J AND I GOT THE SAME ADIDAS JACKET :/ Haha, saw him wearing it over the web cam and I was like o.O that kinda looks familiar. Didn't web cam much with him last night cause I went to bathe and he wanted to go sleep. Poor pig. HOHO.

Ying called me and I told her something about how I felt and she told me to just wait. Sigh. I feel like just taking this penknive and stab stab stab. GRR. Nevermind. No suicidal thoughts.

Bestf, I won't be here to wish you luck for your nationals so I'll say it now. JIAYOU! (: Have faith and confidence in yourself. You've trained so hard, cried so many tears, you can do it. Row with your heart <3

Web cam with Clement last night till past midnight. Zz, I was almost falling asleep :/ I don't know why but I'm getting damn irritable these days. Nearly screamed at Clement over the web cam and he got pissed and I got pissed too. Dammit.

Last day, last night on my comfy bed ): BUT IT WILL BE FUN :D
Camping, pitching tents, THE SEA, trekking, late night talks (ESPECIALLY), outdoor cooking, etc.
It's going to be so super fun and like what bestf said, 'I really hope you cheer up during OBS'. I hope I do too. That's why I need my girlfriends like Char, Ama and Kaiting to get into the same watch as me. Or I'll practically flop the whole camp upside down.

Post when I get back :D Going to finish packing the last items in my bag and VROOOM! I'm out of the house (: Eh, damn weird lah. Other camps which are like 5D4N I can take 3 days to pack. This 7D6N only took me less than a day to pack -.- I think I'm forgetting stuff :/
Time: 9:34 AM

Caution : Some of these pictures are of explicit content. Please refrain from eating anything before reading seeing them. (They are the last two pictures)

I was helping my dad create a powerpoint just now and saw some old photos in his thumbdrive. Those were the photos I saved before my com got conky and had to be sent to reformat everything ): So here they are. Some of them are 3 years ago :/


Family in Malaysia in 2005.


Family at some place (I can't remember where) in 2005.


This was somewhere near end of Sec1 and beginning of Sec2 I think.


End of Sec2.


First day in NJ?


Dance night after orientation.


Please don't ask how me and - managed to sneak into Anderson :D Nice memories though, won't you agree, Denise? :D


Not so gross. It's just a random few slashes I thought were pretty at that time :/







HERE IS THE GROSS ONE. PLEASE DON'T FREAK OUT :/

















48 slashes in total. If I didn't remember wrongly. Done 2 years ago also.




HAHA, okay nevermind. Just for entertainment. I'm bored. Think I shall go eat lunch now. Need to finish packing my OBS bag TONIGHT so I can go out tomorrow. Bleh. Shall update again tonight :D
Time: 12:56 PM