Somehow I think I kinda jinx those around me =x Especially those I get close with. Ah wells.

Today when I was on the bus going home, I thought of Jason (my recent ex boyfriend). Thought about the things we talked about, the times we spent together, the many promises we made, how we struggled to keep our relationship together, how he and I wanted to start afresh so much and all. Sometimes, life just doesn't go the way you want it to and we just gotta face it.

Like now, I've no idea how he is, where he is, how's his injury, etc. We broke up in Jan, got closer again in May but never got back together, ended our friendship in June-July? Funny how things work, especially when everything seemed so perfect. He'd text me every morning and night saying how much he misses me when I was in M'sia last year even though he knew I couldn't reply him, he'd cab down to my house just to spend an hour with me...

Okay, I should shut up. What's over is over. I've got better things to do and now my main priority is to do well for promos and to get into masters for next year's A'div competition. Yup. Other things can wait. Okay, I should really learn to love Math.

I love math i love math i love math i love math i love math i love math i love math i love math.
So much for loving math.
Time: 9:00 PM

Yes, we hung up before we slept. Miraculously, my phone was on the floor under my table and I have no idea how it landed there. Had to get out of bed literally, scan the floor in darkness to find my phone and switch off the alarm before it wakes up my bro.

School was okay I guess? After international history lecture, XM and I chiong to our next tutorial class and slept there for about 10-15mins or so before SEA history tutorial started. At least better than nothing okay! After school was CIP where the RGPS girls had their fun fair. Left half way wanting to train but lazy so we headed to town anyway. Had lunch there and caught 'Prom Night'.

The ending sucked totally and the show was kinda predictable? Okay, I know it's coming from someone who can't stand horror for nuts but really it is scary only cause of the sudden shocks. Thing is, when there's a shock, I will be scared for only 1-2sec, then I end up laughing. Why? Cause the front row and back row screams. Then I'll laugh cause it's so damn funny. Lil kiddo finished the WHOLE bag of popcorn. What the hell? o.O Such a pig. Haha. After the movie, we went to Herren for awhile to look at CDs. Then headed to Billy Bombers to have dinner.

That silly head read honey chicken as horny chicken. I'm sure they serve horny chickens y'know? Dinner was great though and now I feel bad for letting him pay. It was about 32 bucks I think? :/ After that, we spent like 10mins deciding if we should go to the toilet and finding one. Smart right? Then as usual, took th train down to Marina then all the way up again.

Ah, so sorry lah! I fell asleep on his shoulder again and this time, when I woke up, we were already at Kranji I think? So he decided to send me all the way to my stop. Aw, I know it's sweet but I feel super guilty cause he reached home only about 11pm? Geez. Feeling bad feeling bad ):

Now my mum's so pissed at me cause I reached home at 10.15pm? :/ She refuses to talk to me already. Ohwells. Wonder how's lil kiddo's side going on now? My psp's with him -.- Lent it to him so he'd have some entertainment on the way home =X Okay okay, study now. I need to stop playing a fool and mug.

Yawns.
Time: 11:21 PM

Y'know, I kinda like suddenly don't have the mood to study anymore? Like my engine to mug kinda died and I'm sad ): The thought of me retaining just scares me so much that it's somehow deterring me from studying cause I'm having the mindset that, 'Shit, I can't make it anymore?'

Fell asleep over th ph with lil kiddo again. Have no idea how we did that but yeah. Went to school and today's a waste of time seriously. I can't seem to get my ass studying again? RAH! Ting's saying that I need to give myself a break. Like complete break. Then start chiong-ing again.

Promos are in 6 weeks?! GG. Gah, I'm having a headache now just thinking about promos.
Today has been a sleepy day for me. Lil kiddo seriously needs to stop skipping meals or I'd really wake up earlier and make him toasts to munch on in school. I'm sure gastric ONLY hor. Zz. Nevermind, see if I wake up early tomorrow. If I do, I'll make toast/fries. Depends. Yawns.
What rubbish we did after school today la. So childish (ahem, referring to a special someone). Drawing rubbish on each other's arm, doodling on each other's paper and fighting with each other for who knows what reason? I'm sure that study session was so productive. Yawns.

Movie tmr :D Prom night. I'm so going to get nightmares. Plus he's paying half of my dinner at Billy Bombers. So happy me:D Yay!

Alright, I'm going to try to start mugging again. Someone please give me the push? :/

P.S. Many people have been telling me to give it a try cause maybe it'll work out just fine? I don't know if it's possible ): But it's always nice being with him I guess? We'll see how things go (:
Time: 9:08 PM

Sometimes, dreams can come in such weird forms. Mine came to me to tell me how much I've strayed away from God and how much I've been following the world that I've forgotten the simplest thing I need is just God. Last night's dream didn't really make any sense (I think it's partly due to me watching I am Legend and Amargadon) because in it, I was infected by this disease that came from a zombie and I'd die and half an hours time. Plus, when I die, a bomb will ignite and explode everything that's around me. Seems so unreal yes? But the fear I felt then was real.

I feared death (who doesn't?). I feared separation from my loved ones and not being able to say goodbye to them one last time. In all these fear, I feared judgment from The Above. Everybody makes mistake. We all commit sins because only Jesus is perfect in this world and God sacrificed his only Son to redeem us. In my dream, I realised how much I've strayed from God, how much I've been a stranger to God and never talk to him. I talk to everyone except God in prayer. This feeling of being lost and helpless was scarier than anything. Only in my most dire situations, I turn to God only to realise how much I've neglected Him. I should stop taking God for granted and talk to Him more, to have faith in Him and to believe in Him.

It's scary you know? When you're all alone and you have nobody, only God and you realise how far away you are from God ):
I'm sorry this is such a religion-based post but yeah. To those Christians who are out there and have been neglecting praying to God, please remember, He's the only one who's always there for us throughout eternity (:

Okay, today I totally forgot to bring my phone to school. How smart. After school, went bowling. Scores are like shit I tell you. I played 9 games and I realise my stance and strokes are ALL wrong ): I need to train harder and perfect them from scratch ):

93, 109, 124, 124, 117, 133, 127, 144, 152.

State the trend of scores (2m). [quoted from lil kiddo] xD
I'm still thinking if I should watch prom night. Any opinions?
Lil kiddo say I'd most probably have numerous weird dreams after watching prom night after I told him about my dream last night after watching I am Legend (zombies) and Amargadon (bombs).
Ahwells. I'm going to nap awhile before doing work. Nights.
Time: 7:14 PM

It's nice to spend the whoooole day with lil kiddo. From morning 9.30am all the way till night 8pm?
We basically just slacked our asses off the whole day when we were suppose to mug.

Morning met him for breakfast. His treat at Macs:D
Headed home and played Wii.
Went to my room slacked a bit, he playing my psp, me shopping online.
Had lunch and stayed in my room to watch movie.
Intended to sleep but ended fighting with each other=x
All the way till night then we played more wii and I sent him to the mrt.

Gah, it's nice to know someone's there for me when I need someone to be there.
But even so, I still have my dears like TZ(who replied me today after forgetting to reply me on friday xD) and Sam.M who's been talking to me all day online since morning? Ah, such sweethearts, where can you get them seriously?

I just realised how screwed I am with the amount of homework due tomorrow. Gg.Off to do some serious work already.
And of course finally, photos :D


Little kiddo and his self proclaimed 'camera shyness'.


I do have clear pictures of him but nah, don't wanna put them up:D


Sam.T and I during contact time. My eyebags are SO bad dammit.


Ting, Sam.M and my study area in the library xD


Ting insisted we took pictures of the table to show how mugger we are.


Don't know who took this but yeah! Busy studying okay! Don't play play.


Sam.T and I being really bored.




Eugene.K wants his fair share of cam whoring too.


Anh and his SEXY pose in the canteen xD


Sam and I isolated ourselves from the crowd during some session thingo. We two loners sat at the back of the hall talking.can
Time: 9:14 PM

Ignore the M.I.A part. I realised that's so dumb.
In a way, why should I be affected by what others think?
After talking to tz, sam.m, aks, fc and of course lil kiddo, these loves of mine really cheered me up(: The red section is an elaboration of what happened. Skip the red part if you don't wanna know.


Those who wanna know what the hell is going on, well rumours have been going round and it's getting way out of hand? Okay, I admit that ONE of the rumours is my fault to start off with because I was bored and playful thus sending some sms-es to a certain someone. If I knew that THAT someone has a girlfriend, I wouldn't even talk to him for hell's sake!

Look at me and FC. FC's always scolding me for ignoring him and keeping my distance from him just cause he has a girlfriend. Well, I do know when to keep a clear distance from guys who has girlfriends and all okay! Those sms-es were just an honest mistake on my part because I never knew he had a girlfriend and it just so happens that THAT someone had to tell the whole world about those messages and now everyone thinks I'm a bitch? Seriously, I never expected this to happen. Even Aks says that it's so fucked to do such a thing like telling others when it's meant as a joke?

Whatever it is, I've explained to the guy and I don't mind explaining to his girlfriend too. As for others who think otherwise, well fuck off? If you think it's so fun gossiping about all these, I'll curse you and hope you die cause it ain't fun being the gossip _|_

And for those who are spreading those rumours about the one sided-love thing, get your facts right first? I don't really wanna bother explaining about that cause if you ain't my friend you won't know the story. If you really think it's one-sided, why does it even bother you? Not as though you're part of it right? Like hell fuck, get a life man. Whoever I choose to be close with in school, it's none of your business whether there's chemical reaction y'know? Let's say Aks and I. We are so close and does that mean that we have some kind of secret between us? I'm totally sure I'm in love with Aks that's why I'm so close to him -.-

I just realised that people in school have no life. Fucking poor little miserably souls they have that they have to spread these rumours. Seriously, why bother about who I like or what's going on? No life ah? Then go get one dammit. Or are you jealous that I've got a life of my own that you people out there just wanna ruin it? Stop trying to make up stories and asking my classmates about it la. Might as well come up to me direct and ask right. KNN CCB. Want ask come ask me la. Spread what shit when you can't even get your fucking facts right!

I've never been so pissed about rumours before. This time, you've crossed the line and if I EVER find out who's the one who started all these, that person is going to be so dead and right now, I think I have an idea of who that group of people is. Zz.



But thanks to these loves who were there for me:

-TZ who was there when I cried in school and just stay with me, accompanying me.
-Sam.M who called from home just to talk to me.
-Sam.T who didn't ask much but just say everything will be okay.
-Aks for cheering me up at night.
-FC calling me just to talk to me.

and especially lil kiddo who was there for me, worrying for me and I'm just so glad to have him by my side. Despite the cold attitudes I showed him, the many times I wanted to ignore him (and failed), never was there once that he got angry and left me alone but he waited for me to cool down and always never failed to cheer me up.
These two days made me realise how nice he can be even when I'm in my lousiest moods. We've been talking through the night about everything and it just makes me feel sooo much better(:

Well, talking to lil kiddo makes me happy somehow plus he's coming over to my house to hang out tomorrow so yay! Can't wait for tomorrow. Hopefully we can spend the whole day together like breakfast till dinner:D
Ohwells, waiting for his phone call now. My laptop has virus. Damn.
Time: 8:38 PM

Time: 5:08 PM

10mins boredom.
1001 misunderstandings.

How much worse can things get I ask you?
I'm so pissed right now. I just don't feel like going to school tmr already.
Some people can't take jokes. Most people misunderstand.

I'm so sure I'm not pissed. I'm totally sure.
Now I dread school. Thanks ah.
Time: 11:46 PM

So bored and so broke. I should stop shopping online already. Spent like close to 100bucks this month alone. Die.

School was boring. Could have woken up later but they just had to fix Monday's timetable to run on today. After school stayed back till like 7.30pm? Was sleeping most of the time though :/ Damn tired. I just saw my call log and it's damn interesting. Cause I got back my ph about 23 June so it's been one month already right?

Received calls 102:10:26
Dialled calls 01:02:19

See the difference? xD It's approx like 3hr plus talk per day. Gosh. 102 hours. That's like 4.25 days continuous non stop talking. Rah. I'm so sleepy.
Shall go do my homework now. Why do we have so much to do and so little time?
Ting Soon's being dumb -.-
Time: 9:54 PM

Yawns. Just got back from running like half an hour ago?
Don't know where little kiddo is. I think in la la land already.

Today was such a cold day. Thank goodness I brought my jacket:D
Stayed for house session which was nonsense cause there were only 4 people from my class there?
After that waited for kiddo to end his house session and headed to town.
Caught 'The Dark Knight' and what the shit? He fell asleep at the start of the show. How smart.

After the movie, ate dinner and ended up shooting ice at each other. I got head shot, cheek shot, neck shot. So pro right! Still wanna challenge me to shooting ice. Tsk. After that we took train to marina and back home.

I feel so guilty! I'm so sorry for sleeping on your shoulder. Ah! I fell asleep on little kiddo's shoulder and he didn't wake me till like 6-7stops past his stop?! He say that he saw me sleeping so soundly that he didn't wanna wake me up at all and he didn't mind sending me all the way to my stop then wake me up. And my stop is like at least 10 stops away from his? Gosh, feel so guilty.

Okay, I'm going to do work now.
Hy's asking me to play for his team for 4-on-4 bball comps tmr.
Tempting y'know? But I haven't touched a ball in eons. How!
They asked me today but pity I was going for a movie. Blah.
Nevermind. Work first. Yawns.
Time: 10:29 PM

Yo! Idk why th hell am I up at 4am? Oh yes, I remember. To do my work cause I slept early last night :/

Alright, off to study.
Watching 'The Dark Knight' later in town I think.
I love Wednesdays, even though my timetable sucks.
Cause Wednesdays are movie days since training hasn't resumed yet :/
Even when training does resumes, it's still my favourite day cause there are trainings.

Okay okay, off to study. There are photos in my hp. Shall upload them tonight or something.
I need to pee xD
Bye!
Time: 4:20 AM

Okay okay, as Clement has requested on my guestbook, I shall post about his wisdom teeth.
He extracted all 4 at one go and amazingly, he still can talk to me over the phone without feeling much pain. Just met him just now when he sent me home and he showed me the teeth. Ew gross.
There, posted le =P

Can't believe I fell asleep over the phone last night. Geez. Fell asleep at 1plus, kiddo waited till 3plus and he K.O-ed too, and my ph ran out of batt at 5am. Woke up at 6am to realise what happened xD
Went to school in a total daze. And just by luck, Eugene and I came to school at the same time.
First time in history man. I've never came to school together at the same time with him before o.O

Was so tempted to skip double GP but I didn't okay! I'm sucha good lil girl. HEH.
But during the 5mins break she gave us inbetween, I totally K.O-ed on the table. After school, headed down to town to watch my friends play foosball :D

Fun fun. Haha, but most of the time I'm like wandering about the whole place stonning and ATTEMPTING to do econs. Left early with kiddo and took the train to Marina then back again so that it wouldn't be crowded. Thanks for the shoulder again :D Least I could sleep this time.
And thank you Clement for sending me home :D Haha. I went home, changed and went running at around 8.30pm? Everywhere was so dark I tell you.
Gosh, I took the wrong turn again and ended up running a different route. Damn.
I'm always making the wrong turns and getting lost :/

Okay, I'm going to do work now. Kiddo is sleeping over the phone again -.-
I seriously wonder how is he going to finish his work. Damn.
Time: 10:03 PM

Sometimes I really wonder, why do I even bother?
I thought well, maybe things could be different, but like what I found out, you can't really trust anyone.
I'm glad I have Sam.M and TZ with me all these while. Especially TZ who's been with me since IP1 though we kinda grew apart but not being in ALMOST the same combi and classes for everything made things better (:

Y'know, some girls are just bitches, some guys are just bastards.
I admit I'm a bitch at times, especially to people I don't like.
Whatever. At least I don't snatch people's boyfriends or be with my friend's eye candy when I know they like that guy or something.
Heard so many stories and had my own boyfriends snatched away. Seriously, you see the thrill in snatching guys who happily with their previous girls till you came along? I don't cause I think that's such a bitch and bloody desperate.

To watch Prom Night or not? I think I'll freak out though ):
Blah. Workload piling up. Please help! ):
I'm turning to online shopping again. Damn.
Time: 11:59 PM

Bad day yesterday + bad night last night + bad morning today = bad day today

Having a bad spell of dizziness now after I got out of bed. Must be the whole load of weird dreams I had that's made my brain all so out of control now. Going to do History V.A later and I best not be late to go home and watch Batman.

Private post on my private blog. Get th link and password from me if you've forgotten.

Shall post more when I'm get home.
Time: 8:32 AM

If you ain't saying, I ain't asking.
I don't know what's wrong with you and if things are going to be this way, so be it.



I've had my heart broken one time too many and I ain't gonna let it break again.
You made me cry. Be proud of this accomplishment.
Nights.
Time: 11:59 PM

Yawns. So sleepy.
I'm shopping a lot online again:/ Gah. The sadness of not being able to go out much ):

Yesterday was a damn nonsense day. I think.
Was suppose to wake up at 1am to do my work but ended up sleeping till next morning. I would have overslept if my mum hadn't come in to wake me up =x

School was a drag. I didn't skip any lessons (clap for me!).
After school, stayed in library to study before Math consolidation lecture.
Made a new friend who's damn nonsense. Expected la give that he's EL's friend xD
Went for the lecture and practically stoned. After lect, headed to KAP w --.

Mum didn't let me stay out late to study actually but in the end, she couldn't do anything much about it. Mugged, fought, argued, played, ate, joked, etc with -- from 5pm all the way till 9.30pm. So nonsense. But it was really fun though although that pig just kept playing my psp and hp till they were all nearly out of batt instead of finishing his econs. Tsk. I managed to complete loads of work too. Fruitful (: Also thanks for lending me your shoulder to sleep on while you were just killing my handphone battery.

At night, lil kiddo and I were talking on the ph and both of us ended up sleeping.
Die la, we are having some sort of telepathy and same fate kinda thing.

1) We know what the other will say next.
2) We know what the other will do next.
3) We K.O on the same nights when we are not on the phone (like sms half way and both K.O)
4) We K.O around the same time when on the phone.
5) Both of our mums came into our rooms and caught us sleeping on the phone on the same day.

My mum came into my room at around 5plus in the morning to scold me for having the room lights and aircon still on. His mum came in at don't know what time, switched off his lights and took away the house phone (Uh, we were still on the line just that we were sleeping) and scolded him in the morning when he was up.

Okay, off to study and do V.A. Stupid V.As all at the same time. Zz.
I'm sleepy):
Byebye.
Time: 3:04 PM

Looked into the mirror and saw black circles under my eyes. Like woah.
Black circles. I've never seen them before. Okay, maybe once or something?

Exco interviews were okay. School was okay.
I said some things which are mean to some people but whatever.
Got home at 9pm. Was studying in school till 8.15pm.
I realise no matter how much I study, I can't seem to remember anything.
Even if I do remember, I can't express it in the way teachers want to read in exam scripts.
I'm still trying to find a method that helps me study best.

I'm so tired of everything. I don't even have time to go out with my darlings who've been asking me out for dates countless times. I hate the feeling of wanting to go out so much but can't because of the workload and amount of revision I have to finish. I don't know how long I can continue this way. I hope I can survive.

Without friday's math session with EL, I hope I can survive. Yea, I cancelled the fri math session. Realised it wasn't fair to him. Oh wells. I will survive I guess. I think?



Sometimes, don't you think that enough is enough and it's no point moving further?
Currently aks and I are in a hell bad mood. Fit to be best friends. We feel like whacking something.
I'm going to do project now. Byebye.
Time: 9:47 PM

Okay, I shall type this post then start work at 9pm.
Staying up late again to complete all my homework and revise.
I really wanna change blog skin but I can't seem to find the time):
I'd need around 3hours or more to create the picture and MAYBE background too.
Then another 2 hours or so doing up HTML from scratch and editing it.
Gah sucks okay!

First things first, reply to md: I knew you read my blog! Just that I never asked you and it's so weird cause you're just like separated from me by one wall now -.- ANYWAY AT LEAST YOU GOT Bs and Cs ONLY! I can't even get a damn C to save myself. Not even for Lit or GP. Plus side, I only failed two subjects and I passed GP. Wish I could as you history and lit but oh wells. I guess that one, I can only read more ):

Back to today. Last night I finally slept early for once. My body could not take it anymore after studying for math continuously the whole of yesterday all the way till 6.45pm. Killer. Slept at 10pm. Ultimate I tell you. Went to school and finished my history outline and studied math again. I found out that I'm not the only one who just can't seem to understand functions! Some people say it's easy but thing is, I see no link in it or anything so I don't understand that whole topic. Wait till you see my functions notes and it's completely clean and perfect.

After school, I didn't go for CIP cause I had CCA meeting. Kinda want to go see the small kids but nevermind. They can survive one week without me :D Interviews for exco positions are tomorrow morning at 7.40am o.O Seriously early but well, I really hope to be captain. It's my last year in NJ, wanna do something for the team and for uncle mark I guess.

Left school and caught Hellboy 2. Amazing I tell you. Just that I wished Hellboy had more formidable powers or something because it seems like he's really useless? But I guess he has no choice cause if he unleashes all his power, he'd destroy the whole world. Next movie to catch is either 'Get Smart' or 'The Dark Knight' or both. Depends on when I'm free cause I'm really busy ): My timetable's all study now. Sigh.

Monday - Any subject study session with Shirley. Econs tuition at night.
Tuesday - Lit/Econs study session with Ting. Lit consultation (not confirmed).
Wednesday - My only favourite day when training resumes.
Thursday - Stay back study with Shu/Shirley (not confirmed). History consultation.
Friday - Math consolidation lecture. Math study session with EL.
Sat and Sun - Stay at home and revise and complete all homework.

Today's movie really saved my life by giving me a bit of breathing space. It felt good just for like 3 hours with no worries, laughing and joking and just relaxing.
Okay, it's 9pm now. Time to start studying. Byebye. I really don't know how to improve my essays and language ): Feeling real sad especially when others are getting Bs and Cs whilst I get E and S. Sigh.

As promised, photos:D


Stupid things we do in math. (right click to enlarge)


Samarth's lover.


They didn't pose I swear! Both just happened to be in this position at the same time.


Eugene's weird face.






I don't mind getting these tattoos :D


Time: 8:41 PM

I should stop skipping lessons =x
I should change my blog layout (as Anh said it's been nearly a year)
I should stop eating junk food and exercise
I should start mugging till earliest 2am every day
I should stop procrastinating
I should start training hard to aim for next year's masters

DUDES - My common tests marks. It's making me so demoralised I just feel like dropping out of school. Not even a single A, B or C. Turn off I tell you.

Anyway, the Wii fit has been delivered to my house already. It's so retarded? I think. Still fun anyway. Last night only went to bed at 4.30am while waiting for lil kiddo to finish his EOM draft. Since he says it's not his fault cause he didn't ask me to wait then fine. I should stop being nice and just leave him alone. Add that on to my 'I should' list. Still, thanks for helping me print out my PI, EOM and interview transcription :D

School was slack. I skipped lessons like crazy. Okay, it's not because I'm too lazy to go or what but it's that I wanted to use that time to do my math instead. I didn't go for math lecture because I see no point when I haven't even stabalised my differentiation yet and still want me to move on to integration and there was nothing important in GP so I spent the whole time in the library doing my differentiation tutorials (: And I'm proud to say that within 4 days, I've finished 3 tutorials. Which is totally cool cause I'd normally take 2 weeks to finish 1 tutorial?

Plus, I borrowed books from the school library today -applauds myself. International history books to be precise. I realise I can't keep giving myself excuses that it's too difficult it's too difficult cause it ain't! I'm going to work real hard for promos which are in exactly 10 weeks' time. Kudos to the one who stayed back with me after school and do math with me till 6.45pm? Like really thank you a lot(:

Right now though, I'm deprived of sleep. Really deprived. I promise, I'll change my layout after my promos. Just bear with it for another 10 weeks or so ): Cause I really have no mood to look at HTML codes now and writing them.

My whole family's downstairs playing the wii now. Sigh, I guess I should go bathe and start studying already. Play can wait I guess ): You can't imagine how sad I am right now. Time to start studying.


ShuJun, please do well for promos and make yourself belief in yourself again.
Time: 8:24 PM

11 hours 28 minutes 33 seconds.
Haha, It's the longest I've ever been on the phone. Broke record already.
Actually not, cause we didn't talk most of the time but still, longest I've been ON the phone.
It's amazing ain't it? We could have hit 12hours but his mum was screaming at him to have breakfast so we had to hang up.
All the nonsense we talk early in the morning is hilarious. He invented two words.

Word 1: Havelling - have been travelling
Word 2: Understooded - past past tense of understand

How smart right? I've got so much of his rubbish with me xD Literally too. I've got his pen (full of ink!), his eraser, his math notes and homework. Haha. I'm planning to steal more of his stuff and see if he realises =x He either doesn't notice or he'd forget I took them after awhile. Fun fun. That sadist says he wants to see me scream during horror shows. Crazy. I don't even scream when I'm scared. Still, he's a sadist.

Mental note: I need to get batteries for my camera and start using my camera all over again(:
I'm still doing math. Cannot give up though I really feel like giving it up. Blah.
I'm hungry. Think I shall continue doing Math. Yawns. Amazing how I can survive without sleep.
Time: 10:38 AM

Credits: Deviantart
Sometimes the person you think you love most may not be the one you will really love the whole lifetime.


The time now is actually 12.13am. And I'm listening to the best hit music ever - his snoring.
I seriously have NO idea how the hell he could fall asleep so fast. Just within 10secs or so of silence, he starts snoring away. Amazing I tell you. He still say he'd teach me math -.- I AM SO SURE. Haha. Such a pig seriously.

Last night I accidentally hung up on him at around 2plus in the morning cause I was replying a text and pressed the wrong button. Doubt he even realised. Went to bed at around 3am I think? Auto wake up at 9am. My body seriously rejects sleep like crazy. I can sleep at 5am and auto wake up at 7am. Gave Wanting wake up call at 9.30am for her to go CIP. Clement was so damn surprised to see me up and doing math when he came over. Cause recently every weekend when he came over, I'd be sleeping in bed.

Whole day was spent transcribing that interview for PW. I need it for EOM. Blah. 4000 words in total. How great. Just stone in front of the computer hearing and seeing the same videos over and over again. I'm done though so yay! Lil kiddo has yet to do his EOM and he's somewhere in kiddy land sliding down slides or something -.-

Watched 27 dresses today and it's pretty interesting only cause there's a hot guy. Clement fell asleep before half of the movie was played. Then towards the end when she confessed in loving the hot guy, Clement's hand suddenly patted my head and I got my wits scared outta me. Cause he was supposed to be sleeping then suddenly this hand popped out to pat my head. Scary.

Anyway, it's so weird I've lost interest in guys already. Not that I'm turning les or bi but thing is, I really see no point having a boyfriend? Unless he's someone who is in the same school as me or can spend time with me practically everyday. Cause right now, I can't sacrifice time even to meet up with my loves. Some people get attached just for the sake of being attached? I don't know. My new boyfriends are books. I spend time with them everyday and they sleep with me. Aww, I know you're jealous =P

P.S. FC! I miss you a lot ): Your letter never came y'know? Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I knew you earlier. A few years earlier. Just a thought but yeah (: Miss you dearie!
Time: 11:59 PM

Credits: Deviantart
Dreams of you haunt me every night. Lies or truth only you know best.



Fruitful day :D with loads of fruits. HAHA. Alright that was lame.
Never knew fruits could walk though =X

Talked over 8 hours last night since like 9plus in the night? All the way till 6am.
Yup, no sleep. Okay, I did doze off a couple of times but mostly I was awake, waiting for lil kiddo to finish his math V.A. Poor thing, he had to solo lah plus he is such an idiot wanting to do it using Flash -.- Fine, pro la. Finally at 5.40am he finished the V.A and we just stayed on the phone till 6am then we hung up and went to get ready for school.

School was okay today. Considering the fact that it was a all subjects day PLUS math -.-
Lit tutorial, econs tutorial, math lecture, econs lecture, GP lecture and history tutorial.
Kinda fell asleep the last 5 mins of history tutorial cause the essay outline we were going through was so in depth my whole brain was fizzled up. I need to try and link them somehow.

Studied after school and I swear lil kiddo can do the most idiotic things like aiming to kick my leg under the table and ended up kicking his own foot against the table leg instead -.- Falling asleep in the library and snoring. His math paper has like loads of my doodling here and there with random pictures xD Eh, but it was fruitful, at least I learn about differentiation :D Thanks that you are sacrificing all your early Fridays to help me with math(:

Right now, he's sleeping over the phone and it's like woah. He said,'Okay, I'll sleep at 12am.'
At 11.57pm, he's already gone to la la land. Ahwells, if he doesn't wake up any time later I've gotta wait till morning 8am when he wakes up. I shall go do more math questions now. Must learn to like math.

I think some teachers can be so demoralising. They think they care but to me, it's bullshit. On the other hand, I think some teachers can really motivate me and make my day in school (:
I so wanna get a tattoo. And lip piercings maybe. Roar.
Time: 11:50 PM

Friends, they are people whom you need to spend time with.
Time, it's something I don't have at hand now.

I was on the way home from school today thinking about my grades for Common Tests. Thinking about how much extra effort I need to put in for these two years in order to get my desired results. Saw the word 'POOL' at Bt Timah Plaza and my heart ached. Gone were the times Ying and I would meet up everyday after school in sec1 and 2 to play pool for hours. Gone were the times I could go to town till late night not worrying about the amount of homework or revision left undone. No more meeting up with friends on weekends, no more dancing and bballing. No more piano lessons and exams. Everything I sacrificed to have more time for my studies.

As we grow older, the more things we need to handle, the lesser time we have for ourselves, what's more our friends and family. Last time meeting up with Ying or Tian once a fortnight was a piece of cake. Now to even meet up once a month is almost impossible. School work, new friends, boyfriends and all. I suddenly think my life's so boring? Especially without being able to just go out and not have the worry of exams and its impending doom awaiting me.

It takes major changes in circumstances to actually allow me to step back and see who my friends really are deep inside and who are those who really cared not only for themselves but for me too. Take this common test for example, I've come to see who really cared for me and helped me in any way they could even if they had other things to do. While others, they just shunned away when I asked for help or even an instance, I got blamed for studying for my common tests instead of helping my friend do his project? Humans can be so selfish sometimes, thinking more of themselves and not others.

Times like this also made me realise, who are those who appreciated what I've done for them so far, the things I've sacrificed for them or helped them with. Some just take it without a simple thank you while some take it and when everything is over, they completely forget about you.

Everyone has their problems and matters to deal with, but take a minute off your busy schedule guys and think, have you really thought about who was always there for you? Who helped you so much and has been by your side no matter what? Have you thanked that person or have you forgotten about him/her totally?

To live ain't just living for yourself. Sometimes, it's living for others you love and care for too.
Time: 5:39 PM

Sometimes, disappointment doesn't really motivates someone to do better. It might just demoralise someone so much that they totally give up. Yeah, and it's happening to me. I no longer see how can I study and not get good grades anymore. Got back my Econs paper today, the subject which I've been studying for since before the holidays. Perfect grade - D.

At this rate, my results would be D - Econs, E - Lit (my confidence of getting high grades is gone), S - History, U - Math. DESU - I know this is a jap word but I forgot what it means. It is in Prince of Tennis. Okay, that's not the point. Point is, I'm just so disappointed. I didn't cry (not really cry but just teared) not because of my grades but the fact that, I really studied so hard for Econs, but all I got was a D. I don't think it's fair?

Tmr I'll be getting back all my lit papers. Gg I tell you. I should follow WT and we two can start planning to drop out of JC and go to poly instead. Ah, demoralised. Esp with the teachers saying, this is equivalent to what grades you'll get in A levels. That's damn scary okay. Plus Sam.M had a conversation with me today and it was dumb.

Sam.M: hey, you still emo-ing ah?
Me: huh? oh no lah, just still disappointed with my econs.
Sam.M: I shouldn't have asked that la.
Me: eh, why?
Sam.M: Cause you emo everyday what. So makes no diff whether you're emo-ing everyday.
Me: Oh yeah I'm sure I emo everyday la. What the hell?
Sam.M: You do okay! Every day you always emo-ing away.

I'm so not emo Sam Mok -.-

Met Clement after CIP to mourn. I can't help it but thank you for being so tolerant with my bad moods. I feel really guilty that he's been under continuous attacks of my mood swings these days. Mainly cause of my results and me waking up in a bad mood. Like today, I was pissed cause I was already on the way to meet him but he hasn't even boarded the train plus with my horrible results didn't exactly made me happy. In the end he still treated me KFC. Plus while we were napping in my house before my tuition and my mum came in to just scold and scold and scold me for some fucked up reason, he ended up taking the rap from me when I got out of bed with this thunderous columbus cloud over my head and was still nice enough to go down to Shop N Save and buy me fries to eat. Ah, sometimes I really feel so bad treating him this way but really, I can't help but appreciate such a friend who's stayed by my side all these while.

I can't say for any others, like when I flare up or show attitude or be anal, they can stand it. I doubt so seriously, it will lead to just quarrels and cursing and swearing. Okay, not to say that Clement and I haven't quarrelled cause of attitude problems before but most of the times, he understood and just bore with it. He deserves a great big hand! -claps. Oh no wait, he better no read this or he'll be so egoistic.

Anyway, I've seen couples breaking up these days and it's scaring me. Especially when I've seen these couple matured and grown since last year. It's a bit scary to think about how close two people can be and in a split second of saying, 'Let's break up.' the whole world is inverted. From the closest of friends who knows everything about each other up till the smallest details to two whom at most acknowledge each other's presence with a nod or smile. I always dread the word 'break up' (okay who doesn't?) unless the guy I'm with is really a damn jerk and I can't get to get away ASAP. Even if two are not together, isn't it scary enough to think that your best mate, someone you talk to and share tons of secrets with, just disappears and never talks to you again? Okay this is such a scary thought.

I know this post is wordy. I can't help it.
Hardly go out anywhere with my camera? Everyday is just wake up, go school, go home.
I suddenly think I have no life, like seriously. I no longer go town, I no longer shop, I no longer play sports. What is happening to me? ):
Time: 9:28 PM

I am so so sleepy. I've been telling that to aks, wt and eug so many times every day that they say it's expected -.- but really i am. Take sat night for example. I slept at about 7.30am in the morning, woke up at 9am to call wanting up, went back to sleep and clement woke me up at 10plus in the morning when he came over.

Plus last night, talked to lil kiddo over th ph and fell asleep (he said he could stay up and wait for me to wake up and it won't always be me waiting for him to wake up). Woke up at around 2plus in the morning, continued talking to him, got high, he thinks I'm crazy. Talked till 4plus and his phone was low batt so we both hung up close to 5am. Woke up at 7.30am to call wanting up, dozed off, woke up at 9am and went bowling.

Bowling was shit. I haven't bowled for nearly a month? It was so shit wanting and I totally gave up man. Then straight after bowling, went home with mark and aks, bathed, ate and left for PW interview. Two jokers rushing home to play Diablo 2. Smartass. I'm so sleepy. Think I shall go sleep already. Even though it's only 9pm. Shall sleep early for once. Plus I think lil kiddo is in bed already xD Nights world.
Time: 8:35 PM

In the end lil kiddo hung up on me when I picked up a second call. Cause he coincidentally woke up at that time and heard the toot-ing tone and thought I hung up already -.- Such an idiot.
So in the end, I talked to Shawn for over an hour trying to cheer him up till he finally decided to go to bed. Yawns. So sleepy. Slept at 8am then have to wake up at 9am to call Wanting up. Then went back to sleep and then Clement came over at 10plus.

I'm on the phone with lil kiddo again xD
Sleepy ):
Bowling tomorrow. Like yay!
Ciao.
Time: 10:13 PM

Yo. Look at the time now. Gah. Someone please tell me why I'm awake at this time?
Okay, actually I know the reason why cause lil kiddo is sleeping over the phone now. He woke up 3 times and K.O-ed soon after that. How smart right? Wan ting's like saying how I should hang up and call him when we wake up but thing is, we somehow share a mutual understanding?

Haha, we don't hang up on the other when he/she is sleeping but wait for him/her to wake up. Unless phone no batt or something of that sort. Thing is, lil kiddo could NEVER stay awake waiting for me to wake up, he'd always K.O with me =x So here I am waiting for him to wake up and please let there be a miracle and not let him wake up only at 2pm. I'd die by then.

Yesterday I was already dozing off during econs tuition. The notes were so dry (like what lil kiddo say, i should pour water on it) that my tutor felt sleepy teaching them too. Haha, so we switched to doing questions instead. After tuition, talked to lil kiddo for awhile before getting ready to go out. Took train down the long way to town (applaud to lil kiddo for calling me and talking to me most of the journey) and met WT, M and A at Plaza Sing. Caught '21' and it was bloody funny. Reached home only about 11pm? Yawns. I'm broke ):

I've realised I've been talking to lil kiddo more and more often these days. What ever happened to my aim of 'not-going-to-talk-to-him-that-often-anymore' goal? :/ Haha, I dont know either. Actually I'm fine with anything la. Talk or don't talk I can't do anything about it. Though I hate the times he ignored me for a period of time and that sucked. Let's just see how things get more interesting xD But I'm really surprised that even though school reopened, things between us didn't change much. Minus the going out part to play and study but hey! we're going to catch another two movies soon, I think. It all depends on him.

Uh, he just started snoring. Like so out of the blue? Haha, listening to him sleep can be so amusing I tell you. Anyway, I seriously wanna crash poly life ): See how it's like and all. Rah. One day one day I will.
















Time: 5:03 AM

Finally it's the weekend. Gosh.
Sometimes I wonder why teachers read blogs.
They say it's for the students' welfare? Well, true. But isn't it more of like trying to pry into students' daily lives?

I know a couple of teachers who reads my blog and don't hide the fact that they read it from me yet there are others out there on the other hand, who just keeps mum about it and try to squeeze information out of you or your close friends at the same time denying that they knew anything about it? For example, trying to find out who your boyfriend is and some will inform parents. Or other ridiculous issues which I can't think of now. Even so, if some students were to blog about teachers, what rights do they have to haunt that student down an demand an explanation? I've heard of such cases happening before and I think it's really ridiculous.

A blog is someone's online diary. They can write what they want although caution needs to be exercise cause it can be read by anyone. However, if you go reading someone else's diary, then be prepared to read the horrible issues. If you ain't prepared, then don't read it. Simple? Plus the fact that students can actually blog something horrible about a teacher would already mean that there is something wrong with that teacher. So instead of trying to hunt that student down, isn't it better if the teacher sat down and thought about his/her past actions and think about what may have gone wrong? From what I know, students get the blame for malingering teachers but have they ever thought from a student's point of view? I highly doubt so.

Enough about that, it's not as though I really care who reads my blog. Cause if some teacher comes and demands me to spill certain things, I most certainly won't. Exception for Mr. Gilbert Lee though. He's nice about the fact he reads my blog filled with vulgarities and all and when I get emo on my blog, he'd just tell me to cheer up. I think that's when we really consider teachers as friends.

Friday was a stoney day. Had dinner with family at the soup restaurant to celebrate mum's birthday which was yesterday. My bro didn't believe I could eat so much -.- At night I watched 'I am Legend' and practically freaked myself out when the stupid zombies jumped up and all. Akshay was having hell of a time laughing at me freak myself out. In the end, my dreams were action-packed dreams filled with fighting and all. How smart.

Waiting for ying to come over to my house. She needs me to help her in her micro econs. Oh she's here already. Yawns. Photos of yesterday below. After teaching her, I'll have econs tuition then I'm out of the house to catch '21' with Aks they all. Sleepy ):






Time: 9:52 AM

Ah, I miss OGL days.
Back to studying I guess):




The best dance partner I've had (:




The Clan.


Contemporary pair dancers.
Time: 6:16 PM

Yawns, I've just finished econs tuition and my brain's like kinda dying ):
Anyway thank you to lil kiddo for like trying his best to keep silent over the phone while I slept.
Though I didn't really sleep cause his clicking of the mouse is a tad too loud and still he said I snored which is so not true cause I know I don't snore. Even Clement says I don't snore when I'm deep in sleep =.=

Haha, but he's nice to keep me company over the phone while I got some eye-shut before my tuition. I told him I'd call him after my tuition but I guess he's either having dinner now or sleeping?o.O I'd think it's more of the latter xD

Today was a super sleepy day in school, Not used to sleeping early and waking up early just to kill brain cells. Y'know, if luck's on my side, I'd get AABU for common tests. U being math of course.
If I'm unlucky, I think I'd get BBC/DU. Of course, normally reality is cruel so I might just get DDUU. Or put it nicer DUDU.

Let's just see how things work out.
I'm so hungry. Haven't had dinner cause tuition was at 6.45pm. Going to hunt for food now. Byebye.
Time: 8:31 PM