tears used to be so warm.but now,no matter how warm the tears are,they can never melt away the coldness i feel in me.

















if only
we could go to a place,
where we know nobody,
and nobody knows us.
just us.together forever.













you may be beside me all this while.
but one thing's for sure.
you heart is not here with me.


it's been super long since i cried for a reason.i mean,i actually know why i am crying.ohwells.f*ck everything.if only i could be like jie,migrating to the states all alone,just to start all over again.i wish i can go there too.

come to think of it.i dont love you.i never did.that's what i THINK
but what i KNOW is that i do love you.cause only ppl i love or hate can make me cry.so since i dont hate you.means i love you.sounds like a fallacy.
KNOWING smth and THINKING smth are two different things.









right now,i just wish i knew u loved me.cause right now,i think u love me.
crap larh.



[YOU WANNA SEE BLOOD,I'LL SHOW YOU FRESH BLOOD.RIGHT INFRONT OF YOUR EYES.]


Time: 4:31 PM

YOU DON'T ANY DESERVE MY LOVE NOR RESPECT.


SO CAN YOU JUST FUK OFF FROM MY LIFE?




do you have any idea how you are ruining my life and emotions?it's torture for me every day.
mood swings.everything had to depend on you.why?cause i love you.and what shit do i get?nothing for hell's sake.

Time: 10:52 PM

you said it has to be a two way traffic.AS IF YOU EVER LET THAT HAPPEN.

i tried so hard.to study really bad.i improved by at least one grade for each subj.and i dont even get encouragement from u all.what do i get instead?saying it's not good enough.like what the hell?want me to get all straight A's arh?ass.


you give him a hp.he just changed his hp not long and u bought him a new one.i had to use mine for 3 yrs before i changed.his is less than 1 yr.he gets to go europe.he gets to go hong kong.he gets to go bang kok.I KEPT QUIET ALL THIS WHILE.now he gets a laptop.and i have to sacrifice my notebook just HIM to go hongkong for his shopping for uni clothes.





what do i get in return for trying so hard?
DISCOURAGEMENT.
INSULTS.
whudever shit.




i hate first borns.they can go die for all i care.
Time: 10:18 PM

hurhur.super tired.got loads of photos but i shall upload it some other day.yup.YAAAAWNS.boonhow's no fun.just wanted to tease him a bit cause im super hyper then he so fierce.no super no mood.

let's see.i woke up at 6.went to pass clement his stuff at 7.then go to school and shoot ball.then clement came to skul to study.i stay for awhile then went off to newton to meet panda.then we went amk to meet DENISE.and we changed to ASS uni then go into her skul.hurhur.OMG.han is like?freakin scary.oh no.seriously super scary.yawns.i cant imagine him havin a chiobu as a gf.yarh.dont know lar.HE IS WILLIAM HUNG =x

then we to library.do maaaaath!then went to d coffeeshop opp to eat.zzz.then when i went bak d security guard nearly dont let me in larh.first say i wearing slippers.then next say my hair is dyed.like wth?still wan to bring me to see the OM?WTF.i dont even belong to that skul lar?stupid ass.but still he's quite nice.he let me in on account tat i told him i will get my bag and LEAVE.hurhur.

THEN WE STONED AT THE BUS STOP!aaah.finally decided to take taxi.denise took one alone to go bak home.then jeff and i took another.and i dropped him off at newton stn and i went to skul to collect my result slip.then i went to westmall with clement,ate n we went bowling.super lar.3 games and he won two): haha.then he came to my house.and blahblah.then he went home.while i went to michelle's house.hurhur.cause im bored.ya.
Time: 10:44 PM

HELLOOOOOOOO MR RETAAAAARD!!!!! -beams.


heh.i was just packing around one fifth of my room ytd.which means my bed.at around 1am in the morning?heh.cause i realised i din have enough place to put my stuff so i decided to pack the cupboard above my bed.yar,then saw all the foto albums and decided to scan them(: heh.ENJOYY!
and BABBEEE! i got ur spas photo :D the ones we took last time when we went turf city.nyeheeheheheheheh.






CLASS 201 of 2005!!!!!gosh.i just realised im missing you people loads.like when the times our class always get locked out cause we wer caught eating in class:/





MISTEEEER MAKINTOSH.history teacher.i think i spelt it correctly =x first lesson and he asked,"how do you spell my name?"haha.spas larh.





MOKEEEEEY!!! alright.wont be mean.mr hou,chi teacher.he's SUPER ego and in love with himself.when he saw me taking photo then he say,"take my photo for what? (in chi)" but still pose for it in the end.tsk.





MR TAAAAN! form teacher and LA teacher.yupyup.he's SUPERLY DUPERLY NICE.i keep feeling guilty for not going back and visit him.cause i did promise i would go back.BY CLIMBING OVER THE FENCE.HEHHEH.





BABE!!!!your photo(:butchy butcher.nyhehehheheheheh.tsktsk.tats why i couldnt recognise u the first time i met u this yr.i thought you will still be a BUTCHER! grins.





ME last year.i think.haha.in m'sia.thats where i got this SUPER ex haircut.heh.my bro and i went to secretly cut.but my parents found out in the end and kinda screamed when they heard how much it caused.-evil smile.





FAMILY!!daddy said the person who took this pic dont know how to take pic cause he cut of our leegs.HAHA.SEXY LEGS!hehhhhhhhhh.took this in m'sia.the time when we went screamin away on the viking ship and scaring my mum.





GREAT RESEMBLANCE RIGHT? hohoo.korkor said that alot of ppl were staring at me when i took this pic =.=





jasmine and i doing weird faces at the benches outside the classroom.





michelle and me (:





grace and me promoting WHITE TEETH.or rather.we were just been spastic.





see what i mean?heez.





sheryl,me and jiajun.hohoho.





charissa,lynette and me.it's always me going to lynette's class.SHE HARDLY COMES TO FIND ME CAUSE SHE'S TOO GLUED TO THE COMPUTER!





MINDY JIAYING ME! sitting at the quadrangle doing nuts.





speak no evil,do no evil,see no evil,hear no evil.OM GROUP.minus zhangyan and kyna.





sec2 batch guides.minus quite a few.top(from left):kyna and mingyi.bottom(from left):calean,vic-ki,zhuoxuan,ME,jolynn,renice and gaomin:D




TMR'S CLEMENT'S B'DAY.HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIGPIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yeppyepp.haha.think im goin to bring his SUPER cake to his house tmr.i wont say i baked it.but i made it.as in....aiyoh.dont know whud to say.but it's nice keh?it's a mango plus kiwi cake!!!and i've got his presents too.let's hope he loves them.heh.

Time: 6:01 PM

hurhur.i just went out with panda.yarh.we went to watch runaway vacation and garfield 2.YUPYUP.and as usual im late again.heh.we watched RV first.then had lunch.walkwalk.then went to watch garfield.all at tiong bahru plaza.ya.

yawns.i gotta go so work soon.gotta mug like hell larh.clement's sick ): IM GOING TO BAKE HIM A BIRTHDAY CAKE.heh.mm.if his mum allows, then i'll go over to his house on monday mrng,celebrate with his family,then go out with him in the afternoon.ya.just pray dont have training.

RAAAWRRRSSS!!!!THE VIDEOS WER CUTE!!!!HAHAHAH!!!!
Time: 7:43 PM

Every Other Time - LFO

C'mon
nananananananananana
nananananananananana
nananananananananana
every oth-every other time

I said lets talk about it
as she walked out on me and slamed the door
but I just laugh about it
cuz shes always playin those games

C'mon
(deep down) deep down i know she loves me
but shes got a funny way of showin me how she cares (she cares)
last night she did a donut on my lawn
and drove out w/ her finger in the air
Oh yeah

Sometimes its black
Sometimes its white
Sometimes shes wrong
Sometimes im right
Sometimes we talk about it or we figure it out
But then she just changed her mind
Sometimes shes hot
Sometimes im cold
Sometimes my head wants to explode
But when i think about it im so in love with her

Every other time
nananananananananana
Every other time
nananananananananana
Every other time
nananananananananana
Every oth-every other time

sometimes we sit around
just the 2 of us on the park bench
sometimes we swim around
like 2 dolphins in the oceans of our hearts

but then i think about the time that we broke up before the prom
and u told everyone that I was gay "ok"
sometimes I walk around the town
for i was just to settle down
but I take you back
and u kick me down
cuz thats the way uhhuh uhhuh I like it

Sometimes its black
Sometimes its white
Sometimes shes wrong
Sometimes im right
Sometimes we talk about it or we figure it out
But then she just changed her mind
Sometimes shes hot
Sometimes im cold
Sometimes my head wants to explode
But when i think about it im so in love with her

Every other time
nananananananananana
yeah every other time
nananananananananana
Every other time
nananananananananana
Every oth-every other time

Keep it up home girl
don'tcha quit
u know the way u scream is the ultimate
And when I walk away
just watch the clock n then i don't even get around the block
and I say "let's talk about it"
as she walks out on me and slams the door
one day we'll laugh about it
cuz we're always playin those games

nananananananananana
every oth-every other time

sometimes its black
sometimes its white
sometimes shes wrong
sometimes I'm right
sometimes we talk about it or we figure it out
but then she just changed her mind
sometimes shes hot
sometimes im cold
sometimes my head wants to explode
but when i think about it I'm so in love with her

every other time
nananananananananana
yeah every other time
nananananananananana
every other time
nananananananananana
every oth-every other time

keep it up home girl
don'tcha quit
u know the way u scream is the ultimate
And when I walk away
just watch the clock n then I don't even get around the block
and i say "let's talk about it"
as she walks out on me and slams the door
one day we'll laugh about it
cuz we're always playin those games

nananananananananana
Every oth-every other time

Oh yeah
Every other time
Time: 12:11 PM

nyheheheh.this morning i din go to training cause i was super sick and giddy.then had flu.yarh.alex's fetch me to skul then he pay for my taxi fare bak to eat breakfast at macs.yuh.and he paid for it too.AAH!i dont want to break his heart lar.but he dont want give up ): he says he changed for the better and he wants another chance.i told him today that we'll just be gd friends and he wont accept that.he said he's giving me until sat to tell him the ans.hai.it's not that i dont want to give him another chanve but its just not possible larh.IM SORRY ALEX.

alright,then when i was better i went out with denise.haha.mm.met her at north point.and before that i was in the toilet shitting.then while waiting for the toilet to flush then suddenly this stupid thing with grey ropes like some monster's hair pop out larh.then i got a shock.i thought it was a ghost or smth.then it disappered as soon as it appeared.scary larh.in the end it's just a mop.the cleaner was cleanin the next cubicle.scary larh.then i was sitting on the bench in north pt when this stupid old hag ask me to move over and make space for her.stupid larh.then she took out chi newspaper and the first thing she read is obituary =.=

then denise came and we shop shop then disturb boonhow.bought clement's and jeff's present alr.yup.hahah.then i went over to denise house and had cheese hotdogs x) and i must say her dog's really cute.yarh.crawl oall over you and she's super heavy larh.haha.but still cute.then i took a cab home.wth.it costs 11 bucks larh.and i was super scared i din have enuff.then blahblah.just stayed at home till now.hmm.clement's coming bak tmr.whee.im gonna have presents(:

alrighty.time to send internet sms to clement's ph.i promised to send him at least one sms a day.and since internet got 20 free,i might as well spam his inbox.HEH.

Time: 7:29 PM

rawrs.so many things have happened.so many emotions felt.i feel so confused.i din mean to hurt you blahblah.and then i had to see YOU and all the old feelings i had for you came bak.wth.i dont wanna love you anymore.i cant.cause i dont want to be hurt again.but mayb thru out these 2 yrs,i nvr really gave up on you.

to think im crying at nite again.it's been somethin i havent done for a long time.the nyt i saw u,i felt so confused.but i've decided.im gna start afresh and im gonna love the guy i have now x) it's not that i dont trust you.i can trust you not to have another girl and stuff.but i dont think u should make anymore promises to me already.rmb i told you?i will hate the person to the core if i find out that that person has been lying to me.i dont wanna hate you alrite?i love you.

hmm.hon,dont think too much yar?i looove you! it's gonna be alrite.yup.


alrighty.just as i promised.im gonna SHOOT panda.stupid.now u got no weapons to protect me.grrr.bamboo sword is rotten.and the bamboo gun exploded.hmmph.
and there goes the BIG panda.BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!
pangseh me again.for his darling tv.tsk.

Time: 7:54 PM

panda and me SOMEWHERE.hahah.




denise babe and i at a neoprint machine.damn that bitch aye?




panda and me at causeway point.




beehim and i in skul.




daddy and me.




mummy and me.




huiting laopo and shujun laogong x)




rachel and me (:




clement and i




gero,im not a monster!hahah!

Time: 2:58 PM

AHHUH! thanks babe for helping me set up the new blogskin.yup.i love u loads.yawns.gna sleep.
Time: 3:06 PM