The realistic.

2011-09-22T14:39:00.004+08:00

Long post with pictures (:

Yesterday was the boy's birthday! :D He's finally 20. (fyi he's the only guy I've dated that's younger than me -.-) HAHAHAHAH. So yes, this post is specially just for 21 Sept 2011 (:

Started out actually on 20th Sept night, he came over, had dinner, and as usual wanted to stay till midnight because 'it's his birthday' but also as usual I chased him away before midnight cause I had school the next day and he wasn't feeling too good either.

21st morning, went to school with a freaking huge bag cause of all the boxed presents I stuffed in. Theoretically, I only went to school with a laptop and charger. Didn't even have space to put my pencil case in xD Well, the plan actually was that after school, I'll head down to his house, stone there till 3pm when his mum lets us have the car, drive to my house, get the cake, drive back to his house to put the cake then drive to dinner.

But surprisingly, his mum let him have the car about 12pm so he drove over to pick me up from school. Well, his birthday so I be the chauffeur for the day. (actually not his birthday I also want to drive.) He came over to school then switched to passenger seat. Drove to WM for lunch then just nice my student called me saying the Girl Guides cookies (that I bought MONTHS ago) arrived already so head down to ProTeach for awhile to collect them. After that drove home to shower, get ready for dinner. The boy reach my house immediately went to sleep cause he still wasn't feeling well ): Luckily by the time he woke up he was feeling much better already.

Left my place about 4plus and drove down to his house. And that's where the birthday part really starts la. (heh so many rubbish words before this I know right!)

*Photos are just snapshots so don't expect nice photos with good lighting and bokeh. Am too exhausted to lug my dslr everywhere and always take nice shots. Point and shoot more convenient.*

Well, of course birthday need to give presents. But I don't like giving it the conventional way. So mini games! :D:D

First started with making him do a 'find the letters' game. Well, he's colour blind so seeing so many colour together makes it slightly harder for him. Actually I wanted him to find the letters on the straw hearts like this,

but it's too time consuming so I made him find square pieces of paper instead.

Then he needs to piece them together.

And find out the next game! :D

So I gave him the first clue.

He goes searching.

And there's his 2nd clue!

It goes on...

Till he found his presents! (:

It's a book on Python programming

and a Jacobs By Marc Jacobs Rubix Billfold Wallet.

After he found all his presents, ask him faster faster go shower otherwise we won't be able to make it. And thankfully I made him hurry and left house at about 5plus-6pm otherwise we could never have made it on time for our dinner reservations at 7.30pm.

I let the boy drive to dinner because:
1) It's peak hour
2) Expressways during peak hour
3) His mum say we dress so nice should let then man drive

So yeah, thankfully we left early, jam on expressway then when we hit the city, jam there too cause of F1. Plus road closures everywhere. Wanted to park at Marina Square then stupid road blocks didn't let us through. Asked the road marshal how to get there he also gave some crap directions and excuse saying only people with the F1 label allowed to go there. In the end just park at Suntec. When we walked past Marina Square carpark it was so empty la. Cars with F1 labels not even parking there. Bullshit.

Reached dinner just nice 7.20pm.
It's a really awesome place - Morton's the Steakhouse. Located at Mandarin Oriental Hotel.
Really high-class and posh and the service is just excellent.

I love steaks so normally I'll be hopping from place to place finding where has the best steak. And Morton's have been classified not only as the top restaurants in Singapore but also the top steakhouse. So have to try. & I agree, the steak is delicious.

For once my medium rare is REALLY medium rare ALL OVER and not like other steaks I've eaten where some parts okay, some parts too cooked.

The poor boy was so stressed out because everything was so prim and proper and he felt so scared just trying to eat the bread. Poor boy. Of course he nagged about the pricing and everything which pissed me off because what he didn't know was that I put a lot of effort into this dinner. But after dinner, he didn't say anything already cause he found out the amount of effort I put into planning this dinner.

When we arrived, the employees there were wishing him 'Happy Birthday' and the poor boy was just staring at me and asking me how they know. Hahaha. He was really very nervous.

We skipped the appetizers and salads mainly cause it's damn expensive. But my own main reason is because I don't eat any of the food they offer (yes, I'm choosy which can be good cause see I save money by not eating the appetizers). Went straight to the entrees.

Poor boy was so upset when his food came cause he ordered a Double Cut Filet Mignon (Aged USDA Beef Selections) while I ordered a Porterhouse Steak (Aged Australian Beef Selections). When the food came, baby's face dropped. HAHAHA. Cause he didn't expect his steak to be so small. Whereas my steak was almost 3-4 times larger than his.

(fyi this steak is the biggest steak I've eaten so far)

He finished his steak faster than me and since it's his birthday, I gave him a huge slice of my steak to eat since he was upset his was so small (yet so expensive). Silly boy.

After that, we waited for dessert. It was a complimentary Morton's Hot Chocolate Cake served with Vanilla Ice Cream. One of the best desserts I've ever eaten. A rich chocolate cake with hot chocolate oozing out when you take a bite. What's not to love?

Of course the dessert was the planning part. He didn't expect to be served a cake and candle, and also a present to go along with it. He thought the present was complimentary also -.-

His dinner present?
A Guess Waterpro Stainless Steel Bracelet Watch

After dinner, drove back to his house to cut cake with his family and then I went home.
Really tiring day but I hope baby boy enjoyed it (:
I love you and happy birthday again!

2011-09-18T14:40:00.002+08:00

Ohmy one week no blogging. I wonder if I really was busy.
HAHA.

Sigh, my mouth is still red. I seriously think the cream the doctor gave me is not helping at all ): Last time before I knew I had eczema, I thought it was just some allergic reaction. Leave it there and it'd be gone 2 weeks max. Now already going to 2 weeks and it doesn't exactly seem to get any better. I mean, it is better but stagnant at the part. I can't even open my mouth wide to eat cause the skin's really dry around there and every time I open my mouth, the skin's like playing tug of war.

No photos this week so sorry people. Come to think of it, I am pretty busy this week la. But somehow my friend can still say to me,

'How come you like so free ah? Got time to do so many things. Got time to even re-copy your notes.'

I also don't know leh. All I know is:

(Last time) Study once a month; watch anime/sitcoms kena shit from my mum

(Now) Study EVERY DAY; watch anime/sitcoms still kena shit from my mum

Like no difference leh.
(Pardon me for all the singlish but I've been typing good (I won't say perfect) English for my essay for the past 2 hours so it's kind of like a relief for me now.)

Anyway, school week was great actually. Stupid quiz if I didn't switch my answer between two options (something like close passage; if you switch one answer, your other question will be affected), I would have gotten full marks. Dammit so pissed.
Math test was oh so screwed.

ONE QUESTION: ONE EQUATION. 20 MARKS.
WHERE FAIR I ASK YOU?!?!

Super sian to the max. And when I went home, I realised something. I didn't re-copy that portion where the question came out.

Understand? Of course you don't. I don't either. HAHA.

Okay my work-flow is something like this:

When I go to lectures, I scribble down notes (mostly in pencil) on random sheets of paper. So when I go home, I know I die die need to re-arrange my notes cause I'm bound to lose those random papers. So I'll re-copy it onto fresh sheets of paper, in order, with pen. At the same time, I get to revise (win-win).

Just nice when I was copying my math notes on a certain day, I must have been distracted cause I thought I copied ALL the notes for that day already. But nope, I missed out about 3 pages worth. And for the math quiz, I only revised from the re-copied notes (cause the original notes are super messy and cannot be read).

So guess what? The question that came out for math quiz, was in those 3 pages I missed out and therefore non-existent in my re-copied notes. So I totally didn't revise it AT ALL nor remember it's existent. Ah so screwed. I only realised it after I went home to check my original copy of notes cause my friends said it was mentioned during lecture before but I couldn't find it in my re-copied notes.

BIG SIGH.
There goes my math test.

Saturday was spent ALONE. Cause baby had duty so nobody pei me. HAHA. But I went to 'work'. Well kinda la. Weekends are normally reserved for photography stuff. So after that one of my 'bosses' dropped me off at my house (HE VERY NICE! Last time he dropped me off school!).

Today was shag. First of all, I slept super late at about 2am.
Then had to wake up at 5am in order to go fetch baby.
Omg so tired I tell you. 5am wake up then 6am leave house.
Reach his house just nice 7am, drove to go fetch him and have breakfast.

& it's not even his birthday. Just some random day but the boy kept begging me to go fetch him cause he'll be so excited so okay lor. hahahaha.

K la. V tired now. Later still going out with his family for his birthday dinner. Finally no vegetarian restaurant!!!! :D:D
Ciao.

2011-09-10T14:30:00.002+08:00

So 2nd week of school has passed.
Meaning I've gone for:
7 days of school;
14 classes;
21 hours of lessons.

Sounds pretty little eh? :D Hahaha, but school's fine. I kinda like school cause the modules are okay, the people I know are awesome and I like them (: Trust me, I was REALLY skeptical when I first went to school.

Okay, I'm almost fully recovered now. Just a bit of painful throat and the eczema is still there. Plus the fact that I woke up this morning with a searing pain in my tummy causing me to rush to the toilet still groggy from sleep. And I nearly fainted in the toilet cause of the unbearable pain, my spinning head and suffocation. Seriously, something's wrong with me.

I'll blog more soon. Really busy revising my work and editing all my long over-due photos. Damn.

So next week I'll be going back to taking photos (: I really can't wait :D

(This is a low-key shot I tried out while playing around with lightings. Not THAT professional I know but it's my FIRST time trying low-key. Still need to read up more about it.)

2011-09-06T19:03:00.002+08:00

Weekends passed so fast I didn't even have time to update anything.

Saturday was spent with the boy outside celebrating our monthsary. Some people think that walau anniversary can already la, monthsary so ma fan (troublesome). Well, I agree but I like celebrating monthsary cause it's the day the boy and I always look forward to every month. If anniversary, then must wait so long and trust me, I'm not a patient person. So we went out have dinner at MFM where I was suppose to use some vouchers. Totally forgot about it until baby paid the bill and we were staring at each other and went 'shit'.

Sunday I woke up super late. Had a photo shoot at 12pm and I woke up only at frigging 11.15am cause I forgot to set my alarm. Rushed like mad. Shower, pack my equipments, eat (I still have time to eat. Amazing right?) and headed down to the bus stop. Thankfully I still made it on time for my shoot (: After the shoot, I was dead beat already. Literally. Baby came to find me after his AHM run (yay!). He was dead beat too.

Wanted to sleep but couldn't cause baby was practically hogging the whole bed (it's queen size and he still had to take up the whole bed by lying in a weird position). After that, my mum 'chased' us out for dinner by giving us vouchers to spend on food I think cause she feels bad that the faggot asked my parents out for dinner but didn't ask us.

Drove down to IMM and walked about. I was so exhausted by then cause I haven't been able to sleep well at all. Sure, the 'sleeping' pills helped but I really need something that stops me from dreaming. Yes, I have an over imaginative mind. I can freak myself out just by thinking of weird stuff in the middle of the night and not be able to sleep after that. Thing is, each of my dreams are so real, so vivid, so exhausting that when I wake up, I feel like I've never even rested for one bit both mentally and physically. Had dinner then went home and sleep.

Monday went to school for just one lesson then hurry go home. As usual, the woman gave me shit at home. All sorts of shit. Like how I sleep so long (I was so tired I accidentally off my alarm) and she screamed at me making me wake up in a SUPER bad mood. One thing: Never EVER wake me up the wrong way. I'll be pissed at you so badly you'd wish you never woke me up. Then after that come screw me about other shit. Stuff like, you say in J1 that once you finish A levels you'll find a place to stay on your own. Eh woman, get your facts right. I say I want to stay over at Eugene's, haven't even finish my sentence you hear the words 'stay over' you immediately say no.
Screw you.

Plus when I woke up from my nap I wasn't feeling too good. Ate dinner and after that drove down to WM to buy coffeebean. I think WM's coffeebean permanently OOS for ice blended chocolate la. Twice I went there in the span of one month (or more), and both times they say OOS. So both times had to drive over to RailMall coffeebean to buy. After that went home, baby put me to sleep. And that's when my horror night started.

Had high fever, dizzy spells, throbbing head, hallucinations, sore throat, blocked nose and ears and on the verge of collapsing while on my way to the toilet in the middle of the night. Sigh.

Anyway long story short, bad night. I went to school still (nearly died climbing the overhead bridge). Still, managed forced myself to say alive till end of school.

In the evening my mum panicked and send me to doctor after I told her I was sick since last night(in the morning, she told me to stay in school and didn't want me home despite my 5 hour break) and also because the redness around my mouth was getting worse.

Went to this newly open clinic, nice doctor, can talk rubbish to him and he doesn't give me the death glare.

Me: Oh yeah, I had fever also.
Doctor: Okay, we'll just take your temperature.
Me: But I think don't have already.
Doctor: Nevermind, we'll just take it again.
*beep*
-He looks at the thermometer, then turns it halfway to let me see but before I could see, he double look at it again, THEN he showed me-
Doctor: See, you still have a fever. 37.9.

Doctor: This cream I'm giving you is the original one from...........
Me: So you mean there is a fake cream?
Doctor: No la, not fake. Just that it's the original cream so a bit more expensive.

And that redness around my mouth is ezcema. Walau, I never had it before and now this. I mean, it's around my mouth and it makes me frigging horribly ugly for 2 weeks ):
So in the end went home with tons of medicine to eat/use. Steroid tablets for my throat and eczema, cream for the eczema, ear drops (that makes me feel I'm wearing super high quality noise-cancelling headphones when I use them), panadol for my fever, and tablets for my nose.

Just took an MC from him in case I get another fever. Thankfully didn't so I went to school. But my mouth looks so damn red (like I've got a goatee in Allison's words) I really wish I wore a mask to school. Right now it looks like I have a weird smile under my mouth. HAHAHAHA.
After school, cabbed home cause the heat was making the eczema even redder. Sigh. Thankfully no school tmr. And hopefully by Friday it looks better. And by Monday, it'll be gone.

Anyway, I've uploaded a new photo album on ShutterJun Photography.
Do check it out! (:

2011-09-02T19:49:00.003+08:00

Finally the end of first week of school. Wouldn't exactly call it first WEEK given that Tuesday was a holiday and I have no lessons on Thursday. So theoretically I only went on Monday, Wednesday and Friday (fyi I use the word 'theoretically' A LOT now. Shit, too much BBT).

Lessons are okay I guess, thank goodness there are people I know in every class. Make friends here and there, still okay la. And also thank goodness I never have to spend break time alone cause there's always someone with the same break time as me (:

And I decided la, as long as I see whoever is friendly, like genuinely friendly and sincere, I'll just tell them everything I would tell even to a close friend. HAHAHAH whether they like it or not, I'll just tell them my life stories, my thoughts, my hobbies, etc. Afterall I'm going to see them here and there for 3 years so might as well make good friends la. Unless I don't have a good vibe (heehee only some people know what I mean by that).

School's pretty okay. Finally seen all the lecturers and had at least 1 of each module. Math sucks, it sucked and still does. The instructor like can't decide he wanna be nice or horrible so he's trying to be horrible in an amusing way but failing greatly. Right now the topic is simple so I can't say for sure if his teaching is good, but once it comes to the horrible topic, I think I'll definitely be able to tell if he's good.

I miss a lot of people:
- Gero and our out of the blue phone calls and rubbish
- rach and practically everything rubbish xD
- laopo and our love letters and her hitting me (domestic abuse) and rubbish
- shushubird and our shopping dates and lunches and whatever shushu rubbish
- DDL and our i-dont-know-where-to-start-cause-we-go-way-way-back-but-still-love-each-other :D
- lynette and our next door classroom shouting across the hallway rubbish (tamahome is mine)
- anh and all the advice (be it proper or rubbish) but still not so bad cause I meet him now and then.

and of course, sammy dear, like me, also MIA for most of the time and never appear on the face of this earth. SAM TEXT ME AFTER YOUR EXAM!!!!

Sigh, it's like no time no mood talk to them. I'm sorry la. Unless you come talk to me face to face, most of the time you call me/sms me/msn me/fb me, I'll be too lazy to do anything. That's why a lot of people say I MIA and practically uncontactable.

But Sam clever la. Know cannot find me then will find Eugene ask him find me. HAHAHA. Right sammy? It's the same la. People cannot find Eugene will find me ask me find him. But some days we'd both just MIA the whole day then too bad no one can find either one of us. HAHA.

ANYWAY, it's 37th monthsary today (when I'm typing this it's already 3rd Sept), so

HAPPY 37TH DEAR!!

(I always wanna put heart shape but that always screws up my HTML).
That blur sotong wished me Happy 40th instead cause he thought 1 year have 13 months. Amazing right?

& a happy teachers' day!

P.S. If you like my photos, please like my ShutterJun Photography facebook page if you haven't already done so. Thankyou! (:

2011-08-30T23:17:00.002+08:00

A very quick post before I head to bed(:

I've been playing Sims 3 these few days and sadly, I start off straight away married. So sad right! Especially when every household equipment that Eugene touches always end up broken. But I have another character who is still single in another account. HEH.

Today was just another day lazing at home, literally. It's just eat and sleep and play. Not bad huh? But once school starts proper think I'll no longer have this kinda life ): Well, this week is still not so bad la.

Monday - 1 lesson, I'm outta school by 10am.
Tuesday (today) - Holiday!
Wednesday - 2 lessons, I'm outta school by 1.30pm.
Thursday - No lessons!
Friday - 3 lessons and I'm only outta school at 5pm. Sad right?

Okay, like I promised, this is a quick post. I miss a lot of people, miss talking to them, miss hanging out with them. This is a whole new start again. Hello new mask (only a few knows what I'm talking about).

& here's a photo to keep the entry interesting! (:
(I actually a really awesome photo, in my opinion, but I am not allowed to use it so have to respect the boy's privacy :D)

I think the lighting here is awesome and it really (almost literally) means transparency. What do you think? (:

2011-08-29T15:30:00.004+08:00

Okay people! I'm finally back to blogging and staying this way for good.

FINALLY, I've got my life back together (somewhat), decided how to move on and here I am - First day of school. Hahaha what the shit right?

Before I go on to say anything, I want to first say, please if you like my photos, go to my photography page - "ShutterJun Photography" and support me by liking the page.
Or you can click HERE !! (shit too long never blog I wrote my html as () instead of <>)

It really means a lot to me now more than ever.
The reason? I'm planning to really go into photography and I've taken the first step already (not saying what now but I'll say soon). Plus I'll most prolly join the photography club in school also (totally not me right).

Anyway, so I really need all of my friends' support that I can garner (:
Thank you all in advance!

Oh and plus, right now I'm having a lucky draw! Once the counter hits 100, I'll start the first lucky draw where TWO lucky winners will stand to win some special prizes. For more details go to my page okay! And even if you don't win, just by liking the page, you straight away get 20% off any services you need (first time only).

Back to school. To be completely honest, waste of time on Monday. I leave house at 7.15am, reach school at 8.05am, have lesson at 8.30am and by 10am or so, I'm already on the bus back home to go continue sleeping. HAHAHAHA. Bus fare wise (stupid no student concession sucks to the max) just for 1.5hours of lesson, already $4. Shiok or not?

Anyway, I recently saw someone posting how people who put watermarks on their photos seem amateurish and stuff. I think that insults a lot of photographers even the pros but what the hell. I put my watermark and I'm proud of it cause it's my work. Though what that person said may make sense like let the photo express itself, I do not agree that people will recognise who takes the photo unless you really have a VERY distinct and unique style for ALL your photos (eg you only take in fisheye + black and white + couple kissing). Otherwise come on, be fair, most people just like to see "pretty pictures" and I bet if you give them 10 pretty pictures from 10 photographers, they won't be able to see the difference unless they have what I said above. For me, I believe in watermarking is also to prevent "stealing". Happened before and no, I didn't like it. I mean if you're my close friend okay la, I feel honoured. But using other people's work without credit, uh-uh. I take pride in my work and I want people to know it :D
Just my two cents worth, really.

I'm sorry I'm jumping all over the place in this post. Anyway, last weekend was pretty constructive for me. Two shoots in two days I couldn't be happier. And that's like 3+5 hours worth. Though for some weird reason, BOTH my knees hurt so much just by touching any surface (like crawling into bed) even though there is no visible bruising. But I think it's worth it just looking at my photos. But frigging pissed me off was that I booked the studio and got stood up. And that person completely ignored my calls and sms-es. Best of all, he's my friend. Sigh. What can I say?

All right, I'm heading back to school soon for some stupid talk. That's all for today, folks! (:

As a gift, show you this photo of my babies. HAHAHAHA. Super cute in my opinion.

2011-06-21T20:46:00.003+08:00

Temporarily moved to:

LIFE AINT SO PERFECT

2011-04-19T09:49:00.003+08:00

Back to updating again. Had the privilege of being the photographer for one of my friend's birthday party(: It was awesome. Nice people, nice place :D

Presenting to you, the birthday girl - Turhana!

Anyway, I'm just saying, taking photos ain't all about just earning money. I find more satisfaction taking pictures that capture memories/special moments. Or simply put, I like taking pretty pictures. Haha who doesn't?

Each time I go for assignments, the satisfaction is there.

More photos will be up soon (:

And I do hope to get more assignments!

So if anyone needs a photographer for whatsoever event, let me know.

TFCD (basically means free) can be discussed too!

To view photos just go to ShutterJun Photography and check it out!

LIKE MY PAGE IF YOU LIKE MY PHOTOS!

2011-04-03T22:59:00.006+08:00

Happy 32nd monthsary baby boy! (: I love you.

Had an awesome day planned out but since baby couldn't get the car so we just stayed at home. Not that we just wanted the car but the places we wanted to head to is very out of the way and public transport to those places is almost non-existent. But spending the day lazing around at home with the boy and having an 'after dinner stroll' to Westmall is still nice (:

Honestly, I can say, being in a relationship this long is like some miracle to me. Okay not exactly miracle but kinda like an impossible feat. Those who know me well enough would know why. But ohwells, right now I just count one day, live one day. I've already have so many people around me disappearing from my life so just take it as it is and live I guess.

Plus I really appreciate having the boy in my life (: He sacrifices almost anything and everything for me. 'Cept sleep. Damn, that's still my greatest enemy. Heh. But really I'm grateful. I mean, how many guys out there are willing to take up a camera and spend hours just accompanying his girlfriend while she is out doing photography assignments? Even when the guy has absolutely no interest in photography? Well, my boyfriend did that, not once, not twice but many times just to accompany me. And I'm thankful for that dear. Love you!

On the other hand, I really hope for more assignments. Really bored at home with nothing to do =/

Anyway, as promised, more photos from my twins' birthday assignment.

You can find more photos on my photography page "ShutterJun Photography" :D

Just click SHUTTERJUN PHOTOGRAPHY or the icon on the left side of this blog.

"Like" the page if you like my photos! (:

2011-04-01T16:35:00.002+08:00

Okay just a quick update~

Guess what came in the mail today! :D Heh, my driver's license! YAY! :D

Happy happy me. I still can't believe I'm officially a driver now. Just that I'm still not used to night driving yet (unlike the boy cause he had some practical lessons at night while mine is ALL in the day) and that I most certainly feel weird driving with specs.

I mean REALLY WEIRD cause my eyes have been giving me headache the past few days and hurts each time I rub it so I decided not to wear contacts for a while. Then 2 nights ago, I drove with baby down to IMM for dinner and I was wearing specs and it felt so weird. Top it off with night driving. Oh and the GPS got us lost AGAIN resulting in us ending up in some really ULU and I MEAN REALLY ULU road that I freaked out and didn't even dare look into the woods cause of ghosts and such and wanted out ASAP.

ANYWAY, off topic. LICENSE! HOOBOY! :D

2011-04-01T13:32:00.003+08:00

Finally decided to make time and update my blog. I know I've been missing for a couple of weeks.

Today's first of April so HAPPY APRIL FOOLS' DAY!!! :D

Played any pranks on anyone? =P I actually don't see what's all the hooha is about.

Well great oh great my body decided to play a prank on me (or so I thought). Felt abit uncomfortable and thought my period was here but decided nah, it can't be cause it's like 10 days too early (I think?). But long story short, it's here. Bummers. Not exactly April Fool but ohwells, just thought I should share it.

Bet some of you are pretty grossed out now. Hahahaha.

Okay to lighten the mood a 'lil, I finally had time to edit the photos I took in March. Well a bit at a time people! The following photos are taken at a pair of baby twins' birthday party. And oh boy can you imagine, the twins' parents invited other twins' parents so it's TWINS GALORE (literally).

I counted about 5-7 pairs of twins I think? Holy moly right!

Anyway, CUTE WARNING alert. There are a couple of pictures that will make you go 'OMG SO CUTE!' Heh.

The birthday twins!

Balloons for the kids!

Another pair of twins.

IMO, the cutest baby there (it's hair it's like a porcupine. Ultimate cuteness)

2011-03-16T18:44:00.002+08:00

FINALLY blogging again. Haha. It's been like so long since I last blogged.

WELL! It's mid-March now and everything has been going pretty smoothly for me.

Finally my piano exam is over. And my TP is over too!

YEAH PEOPLE, I'M OFFICIALLY A DRIVER NOW :D

I'm just going to blog about random happenings cause I don't really remember what happened for 12 days.

Currently now it's March holidays so I'm back working at ProTeach :D Which also explains the reason to why I'm down with a flu, fever and sore throat. Yepp, it happens that fast. Went in on Monday and Monday night I fell ill. Seriously getting a flu jab also no use -.-

Also, piano exam left me flustered cause I left my I/C at home and caused my mum to rush down in a foul mood only to find out I have till like end of the week to actually verify my identification. =/ And by golly when they say the piano room is cold, it's REALLY cold. Not the kind of 24-25 deg cold. More probably 17-18 deg kinda cold. Step inside and IMMEDIATELY your fingers will be 'oh shit'. I always found the advice 'Bring a jacket' useless cause honestly wearing a jacket also no use for piano exams unless you're allowed to wear gloves. It's the fingers that freeze, not really your body.

Today was TP. Went there straight after work. I thought that at least I could have a relaxed day at work since I was taking the P5s but one of the other teachers called in sick so I had to take care of the P1s. All 17 of them.

It's havoc I tell you, I can barely muster enough voice to talk right now.

By the end of my shift, I was so damn worn out.

Went for the warm-up practice first and it was so so smooth. SO SMOOTH. I only accumulated like 4 points? And straight BEFORE my test, like 5 mins before, it started raining. DOWNPOUR WILL FLOOD kinda rain. & I haven't drove in a rainy day since my first few lessons. Imagine my horror. And it was really bad trying to look through the mirrors. How bad? So bad till I completely missed the whole parking lot while looking in the mirror without realising it. Thank goodness it was parallel parking so I have more time. Had to re-adjust the car three times before I can see that stupid marking in my mirror.

And as luck would have it, the rain stopped 5 mins AFTER my test ended. So good right -.-

But what the hell. I passed :D YAY!

Anyway, I completed all the BBDC required driving modules (minus driving simulator and auto-car transmission and revision practice) in 20 modules on the dot. Happy :D

This is how the passing slip looks like! First page is all the mistakes and points deducted and no way I'm going to put it up cause I'm pissed with all the stupid things I did just cause it was raining so heavily ):

OH did I mention? Baby passed too! A day before me.

And we both got the same tester.

What the odds seriously! :D

2011-03-04T22:25:00.002+08:00

Everyone has to fall in love someday. Whether the person you love reciprocates the feeling, that's different.

I see friends breaking up, I hear people telling me about their break ups, I read random people's blogs about breaking up. It's saddening. & yet here I am just grateful the boy and I are still going on after 2.5 years.

Last time, it was me. I was the one who was in break ups. I was the one typing all the emotional ramblings and crying my eyes out. I was the one cuddling in bed, knees brought up to my chest and crying with my heart hurting literally. I was the one who's listless in school, trying to fight back the tears that just keeps welling up in my eyes.

Memories of everything we shared just replays in my head non-stop. And each time I so desperately struggle to remember every single tiny detail I can about our time together, about you, your every action and expression, your voice, your touch.

Everyone falls out of love, unless you're lucky to have your childhood sweetheart with you till the end of time. But from what I know, falling out of love is never simple.

I've spent nights crying myself to sleep, doing stupid things like slashing myself (fyi don't follow me please even though I admit it does help lessen the emotional pain but I'm a bit sadistic cause I like to see blood and have wounds and scars. Okay main point is, DON'T SLASH), desperately clinging on to whatever I have.

Now looking back at the pictures I have of the many different guys, of course there is a pang of sadness that will flow through me, of course there's a memory or two (or even a flood of memories) that will come to me and of course at times, a tear or two (or also, even a flood). Humans are born with emotions. Actually I don't know if that's true cause they say emotions and just created by the brain. But still, break up is never pretty. It's the ugly truth.

Well to all those people who've lost someone recently, take comfort and know that you aren't alone. I just know that I'll cry, I'll be in pain and all the other things but they are normal reactions.

My advice? Go ahead and cry, go ahead and scream in frustration. Because when finally one day you're able to look back, you'd realise that that person was a part of your life no matter what and he/she made a difference in it. Be glad you were with that person at least once in your life and that you will be with someone better soon.

Anyway I was thinking about blogging about my past love life. I mean it's my blog I should get to spill everything out in writing I guess.

Yay or nay?

2011-03-03T23:23:00.003+08:00

Okay time to blog! :D

Thank you for the people who were there for me listening to me rant and basically, listening to everything. Love you guys to bits!

It was pretty rough but the boy and I have some things settled between us finally. Hopefully it'll stay this way and we'll both be happy.

Anyway, some people have been asking me what happened cause I posted something on my facebook.

Well here's the story:

A few days ago, I logged into Friendster (idk why just felt like it) and went to see one of my ex-boyfriend's profile cause I don't have him on FB and I wanted to go find his email to add him. Well, went to his page, saw two posts that scared the crap outta me. It was those kind of R.I.P posts. Freaked out and just sat in front of my computer stunned.

Immed I went to like pm both the people who wrote that asking what happened. One replied (via FB) saying he died 3 years ago at a playground. Suspected is asthma attack or something. Apparently it was in the chinese newspaper. Tried finding for the article but to no avail. Asked if he knows where his urn is and stuff, said he didn't know.

It comes as quite a shocker cause he died in 2008 Nov. & if I'm not wrong, late 2007/early-mid 2008, he was asking me to get back together and stuff like that. And we got into pretty much plenty of arguments over that matter cause I refused to. Those were my last memories I have of him.

Last memories of a person kinda sucks. If it's good, it's not that bad. But if it's bad (like this), I really want to at least have a proper talk with him, settle things on amicable terms and not just some hot-headed argument. Guess it's too late already.

R.I.P. Alex. I don't know what happened, I've been trying to find out what happened, but I still can't. I guess even up till now, whatever you do/whatever happens to you, you never told me anything and I never was able to find out anything. Not even when we were together. Well, be safe wherever you are and I hope you're much more happier there.

2011-02-24T22:14:00.002+08:00

Finally I have time to update my blog :D

Long belated photos of Elieen's and Elaine's birthday:

One refuses to hug the other cause the other hasn't showered xD

I'll be uploading the photos I took at "Ballerina who loves B-boy" soon! :D

Anyway finally my FTT is done. Dammit I booked it like so far away I'm so frigging pissed with myself. HAHAHA. But hell yeah!

I PASSED!!! Full marks again! Got full marks for BTT also :D Baby too!

Plus finally booked my Traffic Police (TP) Test date already. Really really soon.

Egg-cited. Baby says he's only going to book his like in April =/

Anyway I think I can make it! Be the first female (hopefully) to finish all the stages made compulsory by BBDC in 20 lessons or less :D Should be able to complete in 20 lessons on the dot.

& quick update on life: Nothing much to be honest. Cause the past few weeks have been all work and driving for me. Damn hectic cause like I have to be up early to practice piano then go for driving till 1:10pm, da bao my lunch, catch the 1:30pm 985 bus, reach work at 1:45pm and have less than 15mins to finish my lunch. Which doesn't end up that way cause I can't even finish my lunch and students come asking me about Chinese so most of the time my lunch is still unfinished at 4pm -.-

Now, I've no more work AGAIN. HAHAHAHA it's like wth right! xD

Ahwells. I'm like a wanderer.

2011-02-19T23:34:00.002+08:00

FINALLY BACK! :D

Quick update on what's happening so far.
Driving has been fantastic for me but not so for baby ): Poor baby.
I'm currently relief teaching back at ProTeach as a CHINESE teacher.
Hahah, omg i know right! Me and Chinese? o.O

Thankfully it's primary school chinese so still can la (kinda?). HAHA.
Anyway, for driving I'm aiming to be the first female to finish all lessons made compulsory in BBDC (minus simulator and auto-transmission) within 20 lessons. One of my instructor told me that a few people have managed to do that but no females so far.
So I'm going to try to do that! :D And I think it's possible!

Anyway I went with baby to watch 'Ballerina who loves B-boy' and it's awesome! Plus they let us take photos and thank goodness I brought my DSLR AND my 70-300mm (35mm equivalent 140-600mm) lens. Got some pretty good shots but with low lighting, fast movements and stupid heads blocking, the good shots are really rare. Will update once I look through them.

Oh and I think I'm completing my driving pretty fast? My first practical lesson was on 26 Jan and I think I'll be able to finish all lessons by 25 Feb? Making pretty good time eh? Heh. & hopefully I can pass in March though all the time slots left are super lousy. Pfft.

Okay I'm going to sleep. Had a long day with the baby boy. Bye!

2011-02-05T20:19:00.002+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! (:

I can't wait for driving lessons to start again. And I can't wait to go out on photography shoots again :D

Lots of love!!!!

2011-01-30T19:48:00.003+08:00

Driving's awesome! :D

Heh, as of now, I've completed two practical lessons already. And my instructor for my second lesson says I can go onto the roads already. Yay!

Considering that I haven't rode in a car (excluding taxi and eug's family car) since my dad sold of the family car like 10 years (I think) ago, I think it's pretty flattering when my first instructor asked on my first lesson, "This is not your first time driving a car right?"

I'm looking forward to every driving lesson now and my instructors so far are so awesome! We spend the whole 100mins talking non-stop (though sometimes I get really distracted by the conversation and not concentrate on the circuit =X) & they trust me enough to let me park the car after the lessons end. Cause other instructors they normally ask the students to change to the passenger seat and the instructors drive and park the car.

Baby's going to start his first lesson this coming Tuesday! Heh, he's like a small kid saying he finally 'get to play with the car' and make 'vroom vroom' sounds. HAHAHA :D I've to keep reminding him it's not playing, it's learning.

Plus sometimes those in the circuit really sabo me. First lesson, there was this auto car I was travelling behind that keeps stalling, making me have to brake every single time and each time I want to move off again, the engine stalls cause I always release the clutch pedal too high. And if I don't stall, within 10seconds, the car will slow to a stop again. Geez. Damn irritating I tell you.

Then on my second lesson, I was about to make this turning curve when suddenly the car (auto again I think) in front of me that has just completed the turn, suddenly stop. AT THE CURVE! I was like shit shit shit, brake and everything and ran up a kerb -.- Cause my instructor was pretty cool he told me to just drive faster, even at turns I don't have to go slow (still need to slow down but not go slow like inching forward that kind). But still really fun! My instructor was like okay I'm going to let you do something challenging and he kept making me do 'double left turns'. Tricky but fun! Plus I've completed almost everything in the circuit already except parking.

Anyway, for those interested in learning driving, here's just a short summary.

- Go sign up at BBDC.

- Complete Basic Theory Lesson 1.01 & 1.02 (compulsory to go for these lessons)

- Basic Theory Practice (if you want to practice questions)

- Basic Theory Evaluation (compulsory to pass 10 days before taking the actual Basic Theory Test)

- Basic Theory Test (BTT)

- After passing BTT, get your Provisional Driving License (PDL) and start booking driving lessons! :D

For Final Theory Test (FTT), it's the same as BTT.

Next driving lesson's tmr! Hopefully it's just like what my instructor says and I'll be hitting the roads. Hoo boy.

2011-01-27T01:37:00.002+08:00

Since I can't get to sleep, the boy's long gone to date ZZZ monster, I shall post.

And today's topic shall be about: LOVE - How to get over a broken heart.

I haven't exactly written a lot about that topic here cause all the stupid things going on in school, people who think they know me well just by reading my blog then go spread false rumours just pissed me off, and how people judge me.

Well today's post is going to be a bit more 'revealing' but hell no I'm not going to post every single delicious detail you people out there like.

So let's talk about it.

I started dating way too young. Got into trouble, bad influences, jerks, assholes, my fair share of all the bad things. I mean, no one's perfect. I've met guys who are completely in love with me but I didn't really care much 'bout them, and I've met guys whom I'm completely in love with but they never cared much. Met guys that broke my heart, guys that cheated on me, guys that got another gf DAYS after our break up, etc.

Of course people think I'm a flirt, having so many guys, blahblah all that crap. What they don't know is that despite the fact that I go to school with a smiley face, it hurts so badly inside. Only a few close friends knew that I cried at home, I cried myself to sleep and sometimes when I suddenly tear up in class/go to the washroom often, it's because I can't bear to keep up that smiley face anymore. Break ups aren't easy. Even if you're only together for a short while.

To me, I always think that people who take a long time to recover, are those who really put in heart and soul to that relationship. If they can get over it so quickly, it just proves you meant close to nothing to that person. Even now, when I think of past relationships, I still tear up a bit, emo, mope about and just sit alone to recall the memories (good and bad).

There are relationships I regret getting into, and there are those I regret letting go.

Who doesn't have regrets? Each and every time a relationship ends, I just pray to God and tell Him if that's His plan for me, the path He's chosen for me, I have no choice but please at least lessen the pain.

So how to people get over a broken heart? Each to his/her own way of handling things.

For me, it has always been a bad way. Rebound. Always. So it's like a vicious cycle non-stop until finally someone stopped it for me.

Someone who was everything I could ask for but I let him go. That's what I mean by relationships I regret letting go.

Anyway, time heals. Some people take longer than others, some people heal faster when there's a closure, some heal when they finally meet someone better. I believe all methods work but what works best is a strong heart and a strong mind.

A friend told me once, 'You've been into so many relationships, break up no big deal la.'

(He might have said it out of spite cause I rejected him twice =X )

It is, in fact, a big deal to me each time a relationship ends. You don't grow stronger that way. You grow stronger each time you learn to cope and overcome a break up. But when it happens again, you have to start from scratch. There's no bypass or shortcut. It like tearing a piece of paper and putting the pieces back with scotch tape. You can keep tearing but you have to keep putting it back. But there will come to a point where it's been torn so much it no longer looks like a paper or can function like a paper. And that's when I believe, the heart dies (metaphorically).

In short, there's no rule on how to get over a break up. Just do what's best for yourself. & if you ever need someone, turn to a close friend or if you can't find anyone, I'm here (:

For me, I kept to myself. Turned from an extrovert to an introvert. Got depressed, suicidal, all that. Still do actually. But it gets better knowing that there are dear friends out there who would listen to me talk about the same thing for years without being bored because they are the ones who know best, that this is how I'm coping with a broken heart.

Let me leave you with this. You may not agree but this is just my personal opinion:

Love is not a mathematics problem, no matter how many equations you use, there's no way to solve it.

Love is not a science problem, no matter how many experiments you conduct, the results are never the same.

Love is not a language, no matter how fluent you are, there are people who won't understand you.

Love is all about yourself. Who you are, is what people will love about you.

You make up what love is to the other person and that person makes up what love is to you.

2011-01-24T23:05:00.002+08:00

Just had an awesome catching up with big sister! :D Plus he helps me brainstorm for ideas to make my portfolio kick-ass so that ADM has no reason to kick my ass (or rather application) out. This includes him kicking out all the rubbish ideas I have. Yeah, there's a lot of kicking involved I know.

Haha. Plus these few days I've been really tied up trying to think up my portfolio I've been isolating the world. 'Cept for bestfriend, baby and whoever texts me. I've been getting calls from weird numbers that I keep missing. Damn. If it's something important, I'm screwed.

Like my resolution (which I just made yesterday):

Had a major setback year 2010 but I think I'm ready to kick this year's ass starting today.

Hooboy am I gonna kick-ass. Sucky year last year. And this year started off pretty bad too but I'm going to make it such that it's going to rock! :D

Gotta stay positive, gotta think positive. Cause right now I've so many problems I swear my life is always so happening whether I want it or not.

I remember Clement Yap telling me that last time in NJ their whole class/OG will always gather round someone's laptop and all of them will read my latest blog post cause it has spicy stuff in there. And I was like WTH?!

Number 1: There's no spicy shit.

Number 2: SO CREEPY ALL STALK ME! HAHAHAHA.

Anyway, fast re-cap of the week.

Yesterday after piano lesson, headed straight to town to meet up with baby's family. They were doing CNY shopping and baby insisted I tagged along. Then had dinner and went home!

Okay, I don't remember the other days already. Shit. I seriously have very bad memory now.

OH! I'm starting my first driving lesson this Wed! :D Excited excited excited! 2 more days. Also quite scary la. I totally suck in Daytona and what's more I use auto. Gonna get screwed in manual. But still can't wait! :D

Bad thing is, I'm having insomnia again. Can't sleep till like 3-4am. Have horrible and realistic dreams that makes me cry, freak out, pissed, etc. Hahaha poor boy. I've been having a few dreams about him cheating on me, him pissing me off, etc and when I wake up and see his text in the morning, I'll still be in that 'upset' or 'pissed' mood and reply him according to what happened in my dream and the mood I'm in and he'd have no idea what the hell happened. Heh.

Anyways, gotta wake up early tmr. Hopefully I can fall asleep before 1am!

Nights people!

2011-01-20T23:30:00.002+08:00

My grandfather passed away recently. This would explain the lack of blog post.

It's pretty sudden cause like Sat we found out he had liver cancer final stage and only had about 3 months to live. Then on Monday, he died.

So yeah.

And my dearest sister went back to the States already ): I want you to like hurry graduate and come work in Singapore so at least I can see you everyday without 'deadline' and 'taking turns'. HAHAHA.

Anyway, I still don't know what I want in life. People keep telling me see how things go or just anyhow zam (is it spelt like this?) but for me it's like, I think a lot before I want to do anything. And when I think a lot, it makes me tired, I stop thinking and I'll be oh shit, what to do in life and the vicious cycle goes on and on and on.

Crap man, my life has so many vicious cycles going on. No wonder I'm like getting fatter -.- I really going to be a round ball already. Need to start losing weight, and fast.

Thankfully for me, I don't like new year goodies so I never put on weight during CNY:D

But it really sucks with nothing to do seriously. No motivation, nothing.

Ahhh hope my portfolio this year is good enough for entry to NTU -cross fingers- otherwise I might as well kill myself cause to get a degree in psychology from the University of Buffalo costs like frigging $65k. What the shit?

If I were rich, I wouldn't have to worry so much. But isn't that like everyone's dream. Ohwells.

& I'm like outta job now. HAHAHAHA. Eug says I really should do freelance cause I'm not the kind to stick to one job. But I still miss my kids, that's the one job I really liked and really miss.

Ohwells.

Anyway, here are some samples of the studio shoots I took on Saturday for a band. Awesome people to work with. And of different nationalities too!

She is so so pretty I tell you!

2011-01-15T22:55:00.003+08:00

Friday I went to report for work, boring shit. I really miss working with my kids ):

Lunch with Anh at Jurong Point before I went for facial.

Night time, baby came over to pei me:D Love my little baby boy to bits!

Today was really tiring. Went for a photo shoot. But it was really enjoyable and fun. My clients are like so awesome and cool. And the female singer is like omg so pretty! The shoot is so enjoyable with such fun people. Plus the owner of the studio, Steven, is so nice! He helped me with the lighting without me asking and helped me out a lot!

Of course, thanks to my dear boyfriend from going with me and being there for me and helping me along! :D Love you dear!

Anyway here are the photos of the couple shoot I took earlier on Thursday (:

Alicia + Graeme:

2011-01-13T23:41:00.002+08:00

Omg so tired today. Woke up duper early, lugged camera equipment (I swear I'm getting shorter carrying so heavy stuff), walked up Fort Canning and all the other rubbish after that. Gawd.

Met WY and JJ at Tiong Bahru after the shoot. Tired, covered with mozzie bites, annoyed, etc.

Thank god for the two for accompanying me or else I swear I'd die. Haha.

Tomorrow I'm going to start work. Damn, hate admin job because the people I see are the same, no new stories like how each day at the centre always have new problems.

I do miss my kids. Didn't get to see them when I went there on yesterday. Missed the morning session going to school and didn't want to wait till 1.30pm for the afternoon session to come so totally didn't see them at all. Just passed Ms. Elizabeth the photos and left.

Anyway, WY gave me a huge bag of chips yesterday! Like super huge omg.

See how huge it is? o.O hahaha.

Anyway, I'm off to bed now. Got work tomorrow = wake up early.

Hopefully tomorrow is a good day.

2011-01-12T11:32:00.002+08:00

It's always death that makes me think extra hard about life.

Even more than what I think about every day normally.

As we grow older, it gets more and more common to have to hear more and more deaths of people related to us.

The past 2 deaths are people who somewhat have been in my life in a special way. The most recent one, I've known that person, I've interacted with that person, crack jokes, laugh together, spent time together, played games together during orientation.

R.I.P. dear PengYi. I know you've always put on a smile no matter how tough things were and always telling us you were all right.

_____________________________________________________________

Anyway, this week has been really great for me. Baby had off so we really had a long weekend together. Anyway, I won this photo competition that my mum encouraged me to take part. Haha, each entry was allowed two photos and everyone thought that the other photo I submitted would win. Who knew it'd be this retarded one?

Credits to my dearest boy for being my 'mafia boss' model :D

Trade-in the hamper for $200 cash with my mum. Cause I don't even eat their products 'cept for the rock sugar bird nest but it wasn't in the hamper anyway.

And I've been meeting up with WY quite a lot now she's on school holiday. She's flying back to US like really soon. Having prata, shopping, lots of shopping, talks, meeting up with other friends, etc. Just yesterday, we went to have a photo shoot, with her being my model of course.

Hate the monsoon season. It's like on off on off rain. Damn.

Anyway by E-3 body is under repairs so I'm using my old camera body which is so so much lighter. Here are the results of the photo shoot (credits to my pretty sista Wendi):

Oh and later in the evening, WY, JJ, Eug and I went to meet up with our (WY and me) p school classmates. I had to edit the background away cause it's really ugly and messy. But I can't edit the plates and drinks in front of us. Okay, not can't, it's that I'm too lazy to. And I hate cropping cause it screws up my dimensions for the picture I wanna put on my blog. Hahahaha.

From back (left to right): Sebestian, Luqman, Cheltton, WY, SJ

Yepp, that's about it. I'm too lazy to upload the countdown pictures here and since it's like over already. Haha.

If you wanna view them, go to my facebook page, add me as a friend (send me a message something like you read my blog) and I'll add you so you can view my pictures. Cause if you don't tell me you read my blog and wanna add me as a friend, I normally don't accept. I've got friend requests from people I don't know and I haven't accepted a lot of them cause I don't know who they are.

Keep in tune for tons of awesome pictures this week. I have a couple photo shoot tomorrow and a band photo shoot on Saturday so you definitely get to see tons of shots :D

& did I mention? I'm starting office hour work again. Which means less photo shoots already. Dammit ): I'm super sad, really.

2011-01-11T23:28:00.002+08:00

As promised, I'm going to blog here after changing my blog layout.

Well not much changed la cause I'm really too sleepy to look at all the HTML coding when I've been out the whole day. I wanna crawl into bed and sleep asap. Haha.

Well 2010 has been a long year for me and it hasn't been the best year for me. Towards the end of 2010, Eug and I got into a really huge fight that we nearly broke up. And a lot of other things happened during the year also. So, I really do hope 2011 is going to be better.

Anyway, I've tons of photos to post. Like really, TONS. But my photobucket account is almost full. So I still haven't had time to create a new account yet, thus no photos.

A quick update on the first 11 days of 2011:

- Countdown!!

- 29th monthsary!!

- Eug's mum's birthday!!

- Going out with WY!!

& a lot of other stuff too. My life's back to being a mess somehow. But I'm always glad I have the boy with me pushing me on, somewhat.

I'm still coping with my life, trying to be optimistic in everything.

People think I don't care much or put much thought into things. They're wrong. I actually think a lot about things but to others, I always tend to want to look at the positive side of things. And I mean, always. I always want to think of the world as a nice and friendly place, like how little kids things. I always want to think the best of people and the best of situations.

But like you know, life's never like this. I know it too and it scares the hell out of me. So the ONLY way I myself can cope with the scary reality of the world is just to put on a smile and tell the whole world I'm fine. It's a facade all over again.

No one knows the whole story. Some people only know pieces here and there. Not even Eugene knows everything, cause in the end, the only person I can trust, is still myself.

Crap. First post after revamp and it's an emo one.

Really shit. Hahahaha. Going to bed now. NIGHTS! :D

2011-01-06T01:34:00.001+08:00

Haven't blogged for really long so just a quick update here.

Since it's the new year of 2011, I'm going to change a bit.of my blogskin to give my blog a fresh start so bear with me. And I promise that I'll make each post more interesting and with more pictures!

Will be back in a few days! Lots of love!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

2011-01-03T17:45:00.002+08:00

Hi everybody!

This blog is like so dead you know. She doesn't wanna write anymore for me to read. I'm so sad. Baby got no work now, so she should have more time right? So why is she not blogging?! :(

Heh, I don't know what else to type already. Hahahaha. Alright. I love you baby. Bye!

2010-12-21T23:44:00.003+08:00

Been feeling down these days I don't know why. It's like really depressing.

I feel like cursing. You know it really takes great restrain not to spew any vulgarities during work.

Anyway, I'm selling off my DSLR since I've upgraded already.

Okay damn I'm really feeling depressed. X'mas is coming and yet I feel so down.

This better not be PMS ): Having a party this Thur for the NJ Bowling Team.

I'm suppose to be excited but dammit I feel so down.

Okay blog tmr. Hopefully I feel better. Am going to treat myself to a pedicure tmr. Pity I can't fo manicure cause no use. Play piano also will spoil -.-

2010-12-17T21:56:00.004+08:00

Haven't updated my blog for really long. That's because I really have no time to.

Early morning drag myself outta bed to go work.

Have a hell day at work.

Come home.

Eat lunch.

Shower.

Nap till evening.

Dinner.

Sleep.

See? Totally no time at all. Pfft.

Anyway my last updated post is like 2 frigging weeks ago omg?

That's like super long for me.

Okay shan't bother trying to remember what happened during the past 2 weeks so I'll just talk random things.

Baby and I had a huge fight. Nearly broke up.

But all's well now. I think? Ohwells.

Down with flu the second time in 2 months thanks to kids sneezing and coughing in front of me.

Well today was fun :D Can do a bit of elaboration and pictures! Heh.

Today was outing day. Was in charge of the kids going to Kidz Amaze at Safra Jurong.

Omg how I love love love today when I get to play there! Sorry if this sounds childish but I mean, I love playing at Kids Adventure last time when I was young (kindergarten/primary school kind of young) and when the place closed down, I no longer got to play.

& after so many years, I GET TO PLAY AGAIN! Squeezing in places, climbing through small holes brings back so much memories. It's really like after each climb, I feel a tinge of nostalgia and wish that I was a kid again.

Plus I got to slide down one of Asia's tallest indoor spiral slides also!

It's so so fun. When was the last time I got to sit a slide that is steep and doesn't halt half way and have to slowly move yourself forward? Fun to the max.

Plus another one of my kids has an attraction to me already. She is so attached to me she comes up randomly and hugs me from behind o.O She did that twice to me today. Really cute P2. Heh.

After Kidz Amaze was lunch, then took the bus down to Chinese Garden to walk. Due to all that walking and climbing and running and fun today, my ankles are officially hurting and so does the abrasion on my lower back I got from sliding down the super high slide. Trust me, you are going so fast down it was like striking a fire against my skin.

I've decided Chinese Garden is an awesome place to have couple shoots. It's beautiful. Given that the last time I came to Chinese Garden was like maybe 10 years ago? Really beautiful place, lots of nice spots to have nice photos.

By the time, we went back to the centre, it was already 4,10pm and I was so so dead beat. Gawd.

But really, I had so much fun today and I love the kids. At least those who behaved.

Oh did I mention? I made a P4 kid boy cry today. But whatever, he was annoying and he cried on his own accord and fault. I have witnesses.

ANYWAY MY FAVOURITE PHOTO OF THE DAY! :D

2010-12-02T19:54:00.002+08:00

Been a hectic week. Like really hectic.
Cause of the upcoming APG (Annual Prize Giving) the school has, the 'hall' of the centre has been used for rehearsals.

Monday with the P3s was still not so bad. So was Tuesday with the P5 and P6 even though it was suppose to be movie day but since the hall was being used, I had to supervise them in a classroom.

Yesterday was especially bad because I had to take both the P2s and the P3s. Total is about 25 students in a classroom? Had to pull in more chairs from the other classes because it was totally full. And having to teach the P2s how to do their worksheets and helping the P3s with the work my colleague gave them is horror. Still, I stress how cute the little ones are. Like really really so innocent and blur.

Plus inner peace (that's what their nap time is called) was so havoc that I even forgot that my shift ended 15mins ago -.- Making me miss the 1.45pm bus and ended up reaching home only at 2.30pm.

Today wasn't easy too. Only had 3 teachers in the centre plus a 'choir' teacher so it's really really bad. Cause the K2s (P1s next year) started coming in already. So it's really crowded. Good thing is I screamed at this P4 kid till he got so pissed off he threw a tantrum but crying out loud, screaming, kicking chairs, tearing paper, etc. Well I didn't really care much because he's one of the brothers that creates havoc. But after that, I let him cool down, then talked to him and told him why he deserves to write another 100 lines. Surprisingly he understood and wrote me the lines. Well I cut it down to 80 because it was going to be inner peace time too and he was really well behaved after I talked to him about it.

I think I know why I'm like the nicest teacher around there already. Cause I'll always be talking to them nicely and explaining to them why they are in the wrong and should be punished. Unless it's one big group then I'll just scream at them cause I can't be bothered.

But obviously after screaming at them I'll be punishing them like how I punished the entire P5 cohort + a few P6-es for fooling around while coming back from their toilet break. Made them walked to and fro about 8-10 times. Of course first few times they'd just play around thinking it's fun and make even more noise but after the 4th or 5th round they got tired and finally behaved.

Anyway, I went with ZJ to take some shots at Buang Kok area there, the remaining kampong houses? Not many nice things to take. I had to be his protector because he was so afraid of the cats and dogs there -.- I was trying to take a picture of the cat with two different coloured eyes but each time I squat down, the cat thinks I wanna pet it, it's come straight at me, go between my legs, and lie down with it's head not behind me -.- In the end didn't get much nice photos.

Yesterday night, also headed down to my primary school friend's mum's wake ): Went with about 8 of our primary school friends. Hope she stays strong and know that there are people there for her, willing to help her get back to her feet.

These few days I've been so drained after eating lunch, I'd hit the showers and straight to the sacks. I can't even muster the energy to practice my piano because after 15mins of playing, the notes on my pieces will be floating around.

I'm going to sleep early tonight. Really can't take it. Dealing with kids really drains the energy out of you. Gosh.

2010-11-26T23:52:00.002+08:00

Today the centre has a holiday so I don't have work.

Woke up to a nice morning, raining, cool... ah the whole package.

Pity I had to get out of bed.

Everything was so 'on time'.

When I reached the road, it was green man.

When I reached the MRT platform, the train came.

When I reached JE interchange, the train I was going to transfer to was already there.

Only part was when I got off the train at Bedok and walked to the bus stop. Waited 15mins and no bus. Best part?

When I when to flag a cab, the bus came. Amazing right? -.-

Anyway cabbed to the Bedok Police HQ, climbed 4 floors, get my $100 (so efficient, took 3 years before I get my $100 back), and bus-ed back to Bedok.

After that was the long train ride home which made my butt really pain at the end of the ride.

Train down to Pasir Ris first (to get a seat) then from Pasir Ris went all the way to Boon Lay. Gosh.

Btw, each time I go facial, I feel my nose being disfigured =/ Cause they will press here and there and my poor nose will be in so much pain I always think my nose will no longer be cute by the end of the session ):

After facial, met baby and had dinner together. Went home, rest awhile then we headed down to BBDC to take our BTE (Basic Theory Evaluation). We had to take this and pass it before we can take our BTT (which is damn far away in January). But it's good for me la cause Jan I'm no longer working so can quickly get my license.

Both of us passed our BTE of course. Hahaha, baby got like 64/70 (damn heng cause passing mark is 63/70) and I got 68/70. I actually felt really great cause like for so long I've never aced a test with such high marks before xD

Anyway, peektures of baby's popo's birthday celebrations (:

2010-11-25T19:29:00.003+08:00

Ahhh tomorrow is going to be a holiday so no work :D

Yesterday I had lessons with the P1s (P2s next year) and though the lesson dragged on really long and they all got scolded for that by my colleague, they are all so cute and adorable I can't like actually really scream at them they same way I did to the P4s. Dammit why are they so cute? Trust me, these kids here at work really have the most good looking kids you can find. Some of them are so good looking I wish they were my age and still have the same face and I'd definitely fall for them, period.

Well, today I was in charge of movies so we were watching Hachiko - A dog's story. I remembered thinking at the time it came out that I didn't want to watch it because it's about a dog. But it's so so sad I teared like three times when seeing the dog who doesn't know that his owner is dead, going back to the same place every day, at the exact same time, waiting till night fall for his owner to get off the train. It's so heartbreaking really.

Makes me think that I really want a dog but when the dog dies, I don't know how I'm going to take it ):

Anyway used baby's youtube account (heh) to upload the videos I took. Pardon me if the videos are really shaky and in the wrong direction (for a lil part in one of them). Have fun watching! xD

This is the P3's (next year P4) 'choir' performance.

An impromptu dance performance by a P5.

This performance is by the P2s(P3 next year).

2010-11-22T20:58:00.002+08:00

Finally back to work again. Good thing is that I end work at 1.30pm. Bad thing is that I've to reach work by 7.30am which means waking up at 6am.

& of course this morning was a total failure =X

I'm seriously sick of the guys giving me attitude alr, seriously pushing me to the limit. If tomorrow either one of them decides to be a smartass and give me some rubbish attitude, I'll scream at them alr.

The only reason why I don't want to scream at them is because I'm really scared I'm going to let slip vulgarities. That's the problem with cursing too much -.- Seriously, I'm really worried that halfway screaming at them I'll let slip something like 'Fuck you' or 'You don't kbkb I tell you' or the mildest 'shut up'. Theoretically 'shut up' is not a vulgarity but it's rude and once the kids here us say, they'd just follow.

Anyway, P3 (next year P4s) did a short performance today. Really cute. I also have this vid on this P5 (I think, next year P6) guy trying to dance after Ms Elizabeth volunteered him to perform.

But idk how to resize the video to make it smaller cause like it's damn big and takes ages to upload to photobucket =/ Shall ask boyf this weekend to help me.

Oh, I really love my new phone to bits. Surprisingly I was rather calm when I found out I couldn't change phone due to some reasons. Maybe cause I'm too engrossed with my camera and also the fact that my faithful HTC phone hasn't disappointed me in any way yet in terms of malfunctioning. I don't even remember what model my old HTC phone is =/ Tried googling no use also. Hoho.

My new phone is HTC Desire :D Pretty, sexaye and fun to play. I went to work with 100% battery. By the time I reached home at 2pm, the battery was like more than half empty alr.

Sexy right? Hahaha. Love it.

2010-11-20T00:32:00.002+08:00

LOVE MY DEAREST BOYFRIEND BECAUSE HE'S THE BEST! :D

Heh.

Wednesday was a public holiday, and just nice when I'm going to have a good long weekend, I fell sick. Runny nose, teary eyes, non-stop sneezing ): Really good start.

Thur was spent with Joel and Eug. Brunch at Marche and the watched Megamind.

Really cool show I tell you. It's really good and funny. Totally not a waste to watch it.

After the show, rushed down to BBDC (fast-walking from the MRT all the way to BBDC is a killer) for BTL (Basic Theory Lesson).

Then after BTL 1.01, we went for dinner. Silly boy was lazy to walk extra 10min (20min to and fro) to the nearby coffeeshop to eat so we settled for Guilin Restaurant which is not too bad xD Nice atmosphere, good food and 20% off. After dinner, we headed back down to BBDC for BTL 1.02. Sleepy I tell you. But omg seeing the traffic cameras record the accidents is really freaky. It's like watching an action-packed movie 'cept it's real. Really freaky.

Today we went for BTP (Basic Theory Practice) in the morning, had lunch at home, then I napped awhile before heading down to Olympus Studio. The new Olympus E-5 tgt with 12-60mm is damn sexaye. And I'm like totally in love with the photo I took. The 50-200 is also frigging cool but it's hella heavy.

Ohhhhh I'm in love with all these! :D:D

2010-11-15T22:57:00.002+08:00

Seriously I swear last time when we were P4s, we weren't so irritating and rude okay.

Today I took the other P4 class cause they have this swapping system where my P4 class rotates with the other class. I had to scold a girl and a boy for hitting each other.

Plus another boy for cursing 'CB' and 'ungrateful bastard' and another girl for saying 'Fuck'.

I was so so sick of it (I just scolded the same boy and girl who were cursing just last week for the same reason) I had my colleague help me scold them cause I really don't know how to scold them 'nicely' without screaming at them when I'm indoors. My current P4 class is more obedient now because they saw me scream at one of them.

Gosh. Taking care of primary school kids really bring me back to DPS days with my classmates and schoolmates. Primary school is when I had the best memories, being able to be who I am without fear of judgement and that's also when things in my life are still normal.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to the long holiday I'm going to have :D

Mon - Work

Tue - Work

Wed - P.H.

Thur - On leave

Fri - On leave

Sat - Not my duty

Anyway, I'm still broke. Dammit.

I feel so guilty every day for not using my camera to take some shots. I feel like each day is being wasted this way. Damn. I really want to go take more shots. ZJ's been like so patient with me pushing back all our photo shoots cause I can't make it =X I seriously need to at least take photos once a week.

2010-11-11T20:23:00.002+08:00

So tired. Geez. Work is getting more and more irritating.

Finally screamed at one of the guys cause I'm sick of their stupid attitude.

Didn't really care about that.

But I cared more about my cute little P1 boy who suddenly just cried when I was 'scolding' him for being rude. Thing is, I wasn't even scolding him -.- I was just talking softly to him but he suddenly just started crying after I told him to stand in front of me cause I wanted to talk to him. Geez.

Somehow I get the feeling one of the teachers there doesn't like me either but whatever. She was kinda rude to me today saying, 'Miss Fu, you should go away. You are spoiling them too much.' when I was standing outside the P1/P2 class talking to some of them. I mean, yeah maybe I'm soft on them but come on, they are still young. Plus I totally didn't like her tone. Well maybe I heard her wrongly in terms of tone and wording. Ohwells.

Anyway, I'm going to sleep soon. Gotta start work at 9am tmr.

2010-11-09T00:38:00.002+08:00

Decided to push the previous post down so that it's not grossing out my blog xD

Time for some pretty pictures! :D

Before that, on Saturday, baby and I FINALLY went down to BBDC to register for driving. Finally, after like procrastinating for almost a year =X haha. Both of us are taking manual. After that we headed down to Lower Peirce Reservoir to take some pictures. We actually wanted to head down on Friday but it rained so we wound up staying in at his place.

Anyway, we walked all the way from his house to the reservoir -.- And it kinda freaked me out while we were on the way out cause it started to rain, it was super dark inside the canopy, and the boy had to tell me that the wooden path we were walking on would be flooded during high tide/heavy rain WHEN WE WERE ON THE PATH! -.- It's freaky okay cause that path doesn't have any railings whatsoever and it's super close to the water.

Funny part was while trying to get out of the canopy in the dark, baby opened his mouth too big and a mozzie flew into his mouth and choked him. Heh, he says it's a mozzie cause it tasted bloody -.- Ew. Haha. And we had cha soba for dinner at his house and I still don't see why he likes it so much. It just tastes like plain noodles with soy sauce. Ohwells.

Anyway, pretty pictures :D

Am going to buy new camera equipments soon :D

2010-11-05T23:25:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was the day baby 'fought valiantly with a monster lizard' and got so grossed out he felt nauseous after that.

It was also the first time both of us have seen a lizard drop it's tail. Mega huge tail by the way and it was freaky watching the tail thrash about even after it's been detached.

After the boy failed to win the fight with the lizard, my dad took over and emerged victorious!

WARNING: Not for the weak-hearted.

If you find this picture gross enough, don't bother viewing the rest.

The detached tail.

The detached part on the lizard. Look at it's 'claws'.

Poor lizards bleed when they drop their tails ): I would feel sad for them if they weren't such creepy crawlies -shudders-

See how frigging big the whole lizard was with it's tail attached.

Well, it's really cool to see it first-hand. It's like a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It may seem gross but I just feel it's like another bio dissection or something.

2010-11-03T23:44:00.005+08:00

HAPPY 27TH ANNIVERSARY BABY! :D

Am so happy this whole week cause I get to see my baby every day after work this week!!

It's so so awesome and I love the boy!

Anyway this week has been killing me cause I'm still nursing my flu and cough/sore throat and yet I still have to scream at kids. I really miss my little kids in P1 and P2 la. The P4s are like so rude, and totally no respect and I thought P4s are supposed to still be adorable. Still, the P1s and P2s are so cute cause they cling to me when they see me before lessons, during tea beaks and after lessons. Really cute :D

Plus I find out I'm really the most lenient and not fierce teacher there. Yes, you better believe it. The other teachers there are way scarier than me o.O

Think I'm going to hit the sack. Damn tired now.

2010-11-02T23:52:00.002+08:00

Been so tired the past week and so busy literally that once I start work I don't even have time to drink a sip of water all the way till I end work. Gosh.

Well, today the form teacher of the p1/p2 class is back so I'm currently relieving a p4 class. Not cute, not fun totally miss my little kids in the p1/p2 class ): At least they were cuter. I'm not a pedophile if that's what you're wondering. But seriously they are so so so so so cute and innocent!

My days now are:

-Fetch little kids from Keming Pri

-Bring them back to the centre

-Supervise the class

-Bring them out to play

-Let them pack and be ready to go home (which means watching cartoon)

No more studying/marking now cause their exams are over.

And I still haven't recovered yet. Shouting at kids all day ain't helping.

2010-10-26T23:05:00.002+08:00

Some of the most nonsense things I've heard the kids say/seen the kids write:

"Miss Fu, are you nice or fierce?"

"I want to be called Number Three"

Past tense of 'Slide'--> Slided

Plural for 'Hippopotamus' --> Hippopotamu

"i don't want to share you" (instead of "I don't want to share it with you")

"Is ham from animal or plant?"

6, 0, 3. What is the smallest possible number that can be formed? 0.

"Why is Mrs Tan so ugly?" -points to picture in an assessment book

Seriously small kids are so cute. But annoying when they don't listen to you.

2010-10-24T11:31:00.004+08:00

Went out with baby on a date yesterday :D Heh it all started out with baby sms-ing me "Let's go on a date." & he planned the whole thing (I insisted he should at least do that otherwise it's just another outing not a date) and kept it a secret (good for him).

That boy asked me to be ready to leave house at 8am but that sleepyhead wasn't even awake 7.30am -.- By the time he came over it was about 10 plus? We ate breakfast then left house to our first stop - Iceskating!

Baby insisted we took the circle line since we've never taken it before. So we sat the train all the way to Bishan, transferred to the circle line and took down to Stadium. Then we headed to Leisure Park Kallang where the Kallang Ice World is. But by the time we reached there, it was almost 12.30pm and they had ice maintenance at 1pm so we headed for lunch first. Went to Pastamania to share a 7" pizza and a bake rice.

After that we headed up to get the tickets to the ice skating. Ohh so fun okay! It's both our first time ice skating. Starting off was really funny cause I was holding baby for the first few rounds in case he fell and that silly boy was too afraid to let go of the side walls the first 2 rounds or so. I didn't really like the skates cause it felt really uncomfortable but I guess bo bian cause it's standard kind of skates. But after that, baby felt a bit more comfortable to let go off the wall but whenever I skated a bit faster, he'd ask me to slow down immediately. Heh.

Funny thing is, whenever he skates and like want to turn, he would somehow turn this mini turn that's 90deg to the left and end up right in front of me literally. And I always have to stop in order not to crash into him -.- It happened more than 10 times and he still suddenly turns right in front of me somehow. But wells, I don't really like the skates, felt it was super jerky and stuff. Maybe if I had my own ice skates it wouldn't be that bad but I'm still more apt in rollerblading than ice skating.

Anyway, we had fun :D loads of fun in fact. I wouldn't mind going ice skating with baby again though. So after we left, we went to this Halloween shop to look around for awhile.

Damn I wish Singapore celebrated Halloween. I mean, it's so fun to dress up for a day. But instead we only have "Be yourself day" for little kids -.-

We then took the circle line again, this time to Dakota then bus-ed down to ECP Big Splash to play at - Lilli Putt. Heh it's like this miniature 18-hole golf which is like super fun and baby knew I always didn't have a good impression of golf and since we've been playing Pangya on my psp for quite some time now, he thought it'd be a good idea to let me try out a bit of golf. And boy is it so much more difficult than playing in Pangya ): But it's so fun! 'Cept for the fact you can't really use your full strength at all cause the course is really miniature. Well I did bounce off the "supposed" route once or twice cause I used a bit too much force but it got me to the hole faster and the boy was like, "HOW CAN LIKE THAT!" xD

After finishing the 18-hole twice (we went 2 rounds, heh), we left. Baby won of course. Then we cabbed back to his place cause taking public transport back to his house from ECP is way too tedious.

Thank you baby for making it such an awesome date! (:

I love you.

2010-10-21T17:02:00.002+08:00

Somehow I have this heavy heart knowing that I've to start work again. Maybe it's got something to do with the contract stating that if I were to quit before the period stated, I have to compensate $500.

I mean, I hope I can stay for that long but it's me you're talking about ): I hate being bound by work and stuff like that. Gah. My previous one was 3 months and I snapped. This is going to be 10 frigging months. & I do really feel like crying cause I feel like I really just signed my death contract for 10 months.

Gah, what am I to do? Am I to go down to the office tomorrow and ask for that part to be removed? But I already signed it. Plus I know that as a teacher, I have to be responsible. I can't just up and quit after maybe like 3 months? =/ Gosh this sucks seriously. How?

I wish baby's here with me now cause at least he can comfort me but his phone is now outta batt and I've got nobody to turn to ): Even my mum's saying it's a bad idea and told me to scrap this contract.

Somebody please just tell me that I'm not doing anything that's signing my doom's contract? ):

I dread going to work. Gah. Call me clingy but I love spending time with boyf every day rather than working to earn money. Can't help it la given that he and I have never really been not by each other's side since J1.

2010-10-20T17:06:00.002+08:00

I still can't stand it. I see all the photos I take and even though other people say they are impressive, I think they are not. In fact I think they are ugly =/ Geez, I think there's something wrong with me already.

Anyway, sucha short notice. I'll be starting work like next Monday. Finally, some moolah in my pocket. But idk if I'll even have leftover money given that I'm working part-time. I've gotta repay my dad for my iMac and my camera flash. That's like $2k gone already. Well, actually I'm quite contended with this arrangement la.

Last time when I worked Mon-Fri 9am-6.30pm, sure I had more moolah, but I hardly had any time for myself and I went home late every time, rushed with the peak hour crowd to get on the train, etc. Now I'll be working part-time, either morning or afternoon shift, and a few days a week depending. Though teaching is going to be tougher but I'd choose that any day over having to read some stupid blind ass' emails and buying meals for him.

Anyway looking forward to this Saturday! :D Baby promised to take me out on a date. Heh. And he's planning the whole thing as a surprise. Yay! Love my boyfriend to bits.

2010-10-18T01:50:00.002+08:00

Can ex-es still be friends?

That's always the question after a break up.

Varies for different people, and how they view life to be.

And also depends on how serious people treated that certain relationship to be.

For me, I always believe that ex-es can always still be best friends. Even though the initial pain may take a long time to heal, but ultimately, it can happen. Afterall, he/she was once the closest person to you at one point of your life.

But I've come to be proven wrong. There is actually no way to become best friends again.

There's also no such thing as being able to totally get over someone because deep down, no matter what, as long as you were serious in the relationship, you can never be able to get rid of the feelings and memories you once had. Like how you once talked about your dreams to that person, how you wish you life could be, how you both planned to do things together but never managed to do so, etc.

Big sister was right, sometimes not being friends is the easier and less painful way. Because this way, you never need to keep re-opening old wounds each time you talk to each other, you don't have to rake up old memories and feelings. Still, I do want to be friends no matter who it may be cause to me, they have been a part of my life and even though, it hurts each time I recall the times I had, it's memories that can never be replaced, and it's just memories belonging to both of us and no one else. Those memories and those feelings are what I still treasure and are what still binds our lives together unless time could be turned back.

But of course, there are some idiots whom I never want to speak to again. Like what I said, it depends on how much you've put in the relationship. Heh.

Anyway, some shots I took when I was out. The night my legs nearly killed me and my shoulders hurt so badly cause my bag was so heavy -.- Sucks when baby's not with me cause he shares half the load with me :D

This week is going to be a lonely week again. Sucks. Plus it's not as though I talk to the boy much cause his stupid camp practically has no reception. Once, I only received one msg for the whole day ): Sheesh.

Ahwells, miss the boy already. I look forward to weekends a lot but when he comes over, he ends up sleeping instead of spending time with me. Then when he's in camp, I can't be bothered talking cause the reception's so bad and the bg's so noisy it irritates the hell outta me, and he complains I no longer want to talk to him -.-

2010-10-15T02:57:00.002+08:00

At times like this, I always wonder, why do people live?

What are souls? How come we feel the way we feel?

What do we see of this world?

Who gives us souls? Are souls real?

Do we even exist? Or are we just trapped in a sick joke?

So many things happen in one's life. So many people to meet and to leave.

So many different emotions for all the different occasions.

Am I real? Do I really exist?

I look back at my life, countless times. Wondering what happens if I made this decision instead of that. Or if I went that way and not this.

People say things happen for a reason. Does it really? Who plans this reason? And reason for what?

I've been feeling so disconnected lately I think sooner or later I'm going to lose myself. Sometimes I see the world from my eyes and yet, I feel that what I see does not belong to me, like I'm looking through another person's eyes and living another person's life. It can really drive me nuts sometimes.

I know I'm ranting but this is what you get when you have severe insomnia for the past few months. I don't even know why I'm having insomnia all of a sudden, and so severe too.

And it feels like the boy and I are drifting apart. I don't know. I haven't been in a relationship this long before. For me, I always have a change after a few months so it's starts all over again, the honeymoon period, the wooing, etc. & it doesn't help when the boy doesn't tell me anything and I'm tired for trying to pry each and every time.

2010-10-11T13:19:00.002+08:00

Went to my cousin's wedding yesterday with baby. It's at THE CHINA CLUB SINGAPORE.

Boy was it Chinese alright. Baby says he feels like he's in a communist place cause of all the uniform and deco-.-

Anyway, I could finally wear that formal dress I bought in HongKong/Macau (forgot where)!

& baby was suppose to wear the formal clothes + shoes I chose for him last time when he needed to wear a tux for some wedding.

Smart boy brought everything, 'cept that he also brought the wrong pants. Instead of the super sleek black stripped pants that's made of super nice material, he brought his old pair of dark blue I-don't-know-what-but-feels-like-cotton pants instead. He didn't even realise it until I saw the pants and I was like, "Uh, this pants is BLUE."

Needless to say, he freaked out and started to panic, then whine, then pout, and then complain he didn't want to go anymore cause it's the wrong pants. Haha.

Anyway, we headed to the wedding. Won't say much so just see the photos below.

After that, we left early cause I had to rush back for my piano. I didn't even get to eat the last 2 dishes ): Damn, was really looking forward to the vermicelli alot. After piano, headed home for awhile then went over to baby's house for dinner.

Ohwells. Today, is a stay-home day as per usual. Tomorrow's the test/interview. Geez, don't know why they need to have tests. Zz.

2010-10-09T12:02:00.000+08:00

Hmm. Today was a really 'busy' day.

Baby came over in the morning, had breakfast together then we headed down to IMM to meet my parents cause I needed to collect my 'feet-modifying-shoe-soles' plus claim that pair of sneakers my mum promised to get me if I went for that magnetic/heat/infrared/I don't know what else therapy to treat my back.

Met my parents at IMM, got the stuff, then cabbed home. Slacked abit then baby and I cabbed down to that therapy place for a session. After that we bus-ed down to WM to return my overdue library books =X

Then there was this blood donation drive there and they say it's ending soon so baby and I just decided to go donate :D

As usual, I loveeeee needles! Heh, was looking straight at the needle when the poke through. So cool!

It's like you see that thick needle poke through and for me I got "extra" cause the person said my vein is crooked -.- So she poked in once, then pulled out a bit, then poke in again.

Oh plus free goodies! They didn't even give us this much goodies when there was a drive in NJ!

Plus we got loads of extras cause they were packing up already and they wanted to clear the food and drinks and whatsoever. Heh.

Anyway, busy day tomorrow. Die for piano lesson. Really hate scales. Hate it to the max really.

2010-10-04T19:36:00.002+08:00

I think now it's like the time to get all the sleep I missed out in school last time xD Heh.

Woke up really late today, cabbed down to JP with my mum to accompany her to the dental clinic. Then came home, stone and baby told me he was going to have a night's out so yay! :D

Baby dropped by, returned my wallet (he abducted my wallet leaving me freaked out to what am I going to do for this week) and gave me a 'collect his wallet' task to do. Zz. Cause baby lost his wallet a month ago and he got this letter saying they found his wallet or smth.

& I also headed down to the roti place to say hi to Jo and her bf and her friends (I'm nice okay! heh) then baby went back to camp after walking me home.

Well tomorrow I have a job interview. I kinda don't want that job but I do need money badly. Gah. Ohwells. Let's see how it goes. And that photography competition thing still has no news. Geez. Might as well just give up alr la.

2010-10-03T00:08:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 26TH MONTHSARY!
Geez, this month's monthsary came pretty soon =/ Ohwells.

Btw, I love this photo :D

Anyway let's see:

Thur - Universal Studio (ref to previous post below)

Fri - Mum brought me and Eug to IMM to get my insole done. Apparently I have a pretty bad case of pronation (I think?). It's basically saying that my ankles are turned inwards that's why my feet always hurt really badly on the underside when I walk for too long. I thought it was normal actually. Cause I've noticed since young that when I blade, my knees and ankles tend to turn inwards somehow and I thought nothing serious. & no, I'm not bowed-legged.

After IMM, cabbed to CDANS to swim. Shiok. Only 4 people in the pool. Haha.
Then headed home and stone till night.

Today had to wake up early to accompany my parents to some BRANDS talk. Poor baby was dragged to come along also by my mum cause she knew that if Eug doesn't come along. I wouldn't go with them no matter what. Heh. Me gawd the auditorium was so frigging cold. & the talk was so boring. I was playing Wheel Of Fortune on my phone the entire time. My dad left after the talk so left my mum, eug and me. Took a train down to Gombak, then cab to the magnetic therapy place -.- Baby and I didn't want to go so we created different plans to escape my mum.

Plan A: Pretend to get off the train with my mum at Batok (initially we were to alight there), then hop back in when the doors are about to close.
Result: FAIL! Change of location to Gombak.

Plan B: Baby to fall asleep on the train then when we reach Batok, I can't wake him all the way until door closes.
Result: FAIL! Change of location to Gombak.

Plan C: Straight away run home once we reached Gombak.
Result: FAIL! Idk why either xD

In the end, we still went for the therapy. Part of the reason I went was cause my mum agreed to pay for my new sneakers if I went with her for the therapy. Ohwells. After that, cabbed to a nearby grocery store to get some potatoes.

That's when I nearly died.

You know the metal shutter thing that you see whenever people open stalls/shops? The middle portion that long thing thingo? When I was picking out potatoes, that whole thing suddenly fell out of nowhere to my right and crashed down next to me. It was just a few inches to my right. Imagine if I was standing more to the right, I think I'd die already.

Stupid indian man don't know what he doing he made that thing drop from behind the shelve where I was picking out potatoes. The indian lady (the boss I think) was like scolding him and everything and she let me have the potatoes for $1 instead of $1.20. My mum says she should have let me have them for free since I nearly died. Tsk.

Went back home, slacked and had dinner out with my family + Eug at a nearby coffeeshop and that's it.
I'm feeling really lethargic now. Damn.

2010-10-01T01:29:00.008+08:00

Yesterday was a really really fun day. But it was also a super tiring and killer one.

Well for me, it's ultra tiring cause I've been having insomnia for the past few months. & it's really difficult for me to fall asleep (thus explaining why I've been waking up at around 11-12plus each day). So this week was very bad cause on Tuesday night, I couldn't get to sleep. So I was awake all the way till 8am. Then late 9-ish, baby came over to find me already cause we were suppose to go swimming. Obviously I was in the 'stone' zone and I was so badly in need of sleep we decided not to go.

Wanted to head down to the city but my mum dragged us some place else for some magnetic therapy or something -.- End up we were too lazy to go from there so we cabbed home. And other than my sleep patterns being super disrupted, so has my eating timings also -.- By the time I wake up, it's almost lunch already. If my dad didn't buy breakfast, not so bad. But if he did, then my breakfast will become brunch. Then I'll have a super late lunch at about 5plus? Then no dinner and I'll go to sleep feeling hungry =/ It's seriously screwed up.

Anyway, back to the sleep part. So I didn't sleep from the time I woke up on Tuesday at 11am all the way till Thursday morning at about 3am. Minus that 1 hours plus of sleeping then waking up again -.- That's like frigging 44 hours without much sleep. Can die I tell you.

So that brings us to yesterday - Thursday.

After finally getting some sleep, my alarm rang at 6.45am, I woke up, off-ed it, dozed off again till 7.30am my mum barged into my room telling me to switch off my air-con -.- Then shit shit late, quickly went to shower, pack bag, etc. Why? Cause baby and I were going to UniversalStudio and my parents were tagging along to go Sentosa. By right they should be going in to Universal Studio with us but they kept insisting the tickets were to expensive, they wont sit much rides, etc, etc so left me and baby going in.

For those who wants to know more information about UNIVERSAL STUDIO SINGAPORE, just click the link.

BASIC SUMMARY

1-weekday entry ticket costs:

$66 per adult (13-64 years old)
$48 per child (4-12 years old)
$32 per senior citizen (65 years old and above)

1-weekend entry ticket costs:

$72 per adult (13-64 years old)
$52 per child (4-12 years old)
$36 per senior citizen (65 years old and above)

Opening hours are Mon-Sun: 10am-7pm.

How to get there? Just take a train down to Harbour Front MRT and go to the top level of Vivo City and take the monorail. Entry fee to Sentosa is $2 and you can just tap your EZ-link card and go in to the 'station'. Then just alight at the very next stop "Waterfront Station" & ta-dah, you've reached Universal Studio already! Well not literally, you still have to walk a bit before you reach the entrance.

(when we were boarding the monorail, this group of Filipino women (I'm not sure, just judging from their accent) came in loudly proclaiming,"You all don't sit down. Let the old ladies sit first." Fuck man. They weren't even old, stupid hags. Everyone was like staring at them cause they were half-shouting at whoever was near them to make way for them to sit, REPEATEDLY UNTIL THEY ALL SAT DOWN. Even my parents are way older than them and they don't demand for seats. I'd have ignored them and cursed them if I weren't out with my parents.

Anyway, so baby and I went there yesterday! Cause baby's on 'forced-by-army-to-take' leave so yeah, we headed down there :D I think we are pretty amazing leh. From about 11am - 7pm, we managed to cross out many of the attractions listed in the map :D

Have fun reading what I've typed below + pictures too!! It includes what the attractions are about, what happened there (seriously some people piss me off), and whatever else I can remember. Those attractions that are in pink are those that we've been to :D

& FYI, pictures ain't well taken cause I was more focused on exploring the whole place, sitting the rides, seeing the characters rather than taking nice photos. So just expect snapshots.

THE LOST WORLD

1. Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure

This is like a water-ride. Definitely will get wet, but to what extent varies on which side you end up during the fall. Baby and I were the only ones in our 'tire-boat' (out of 9 people) that didn't wear a poncho and we were like the driest. Oh the irony! But spinning round and round in the dark is no joke. I wanted to puke so badly cause I got so dizzy and dis-orientated I didn't know if we were still turning, going left/right/back/front. Maybe cause I was concentrating too much on trying not to puke=/

No pictures here cause we left our belongings in the locker (costs $4 for one hour).

2. Canopy Flyer

This is hell. Zz. I have a strict 'NO ROLLERCOASTER' policy and this one just broke it for approx 2 sec. Plus we queued up for the ride for 40mins and the ride only lasted 52 sec. Damn sian right. Haha. But it was fun la. I mean, I got cheated emotionally cause they say this ride is for kids and I thought, Eh quite harmless (I REALLY REALLY HATE ROLLERCOASTERS).

Then okay a few sharp turns here and there then came the last part where I was thinking to myself, WHAT THE SHIT! WE DIDN'T SEE THIS PART! Cause before we queued for the ride, I went to see how most of the journey is like and it was rather tame. Until this part which I totally didn't see cause it was at some ulu place or something. But we were sitting facing the back so the ride was more based on 'feel' rather than us seeing what was going to happen next.

-No pictures here also cause no photography allowed during the ride-

3. Dino-Soarin'

This is really tame. Just sit on your flying dino and move it up and down while it spins. Somehow baby said this was a bit scary (esp when I keep pressing the buttong to go all the way up then suddenly drop xD). But it's fun. Heh.

4. Amber Rock Climb

We didn't try this. But I think you have to pay additional $10 to scale the wall.

5. WaterWorld

This is some water show which baby and I were really excited to go for but they cancelled it due to wet weather. Boo-boo. By the time the show was suppose to start, it ain't even raining alr! Geez. Wasted. We really wanted to catch this performance ):

FAR FAR AWAY

1. Shrek 4D Adventure

BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST TOTALLY LOVE IT! This is a MUST-go to show.

The 3-D effects are so much better than that of the movies in cinemas. Plus the extra effects to tingle your other senses + the simulation is like woah! REALLY MUST GO TO THIS NO MATTER WHAT! Super cool. It's really as though you're part of the movie. 'Cept I think the simulation could be more but still, it's awesome! :D

-No photos cause no photography allowed-

2. Donkey LIVE

Didn't catch this so I have no idea what it's about.

3. Enchanted Airway

This is a rollercoaster so nuh-uh.

4. Magic Potion Spin

This woman was like so irritating. Baby and I were queuing up to ride this ride then the woman in front of me kept glaring at me saying 'This ride is for kids only.... Children only... (and she repeated it at least twice)". What the hell? I paid for the tickets to come here so I damn well get to sit whatever rides I want and not back off just cause it's appropriate for kids. She doesn't sound local though but still what the hell. I don't want some ass telling me what rides I can sit and what I can't. I choose whatever rides I want to sit. Idiot.

Anyway, this is just a mini-version of a ferris wheel. It was pouring outside so baby and I just decided to take this ride anyway since we had time to kill and we aimed to go for as many attractions as possible :D but stupid woman just pissed me off.

MADAGASCAR

1. A Crate Adventure (COMING SOON)

Sounds totally cool on the brochure but pity it ain't open yet.

2. King Julien's Beach Party-Go-Round

Typical merry-go-round. Heh. Goes up and down and round and round!

ANCIENT EGYPT

1. Revenge of the Mummy

Some indoor roller-coaster that baby kept insisting that he'd only ride it if I went along, but roller-coaster, nuh-uh so he didn't ride it in the end also cause he said he didn't want to ride it alone -.-

2. Treasure Hunters

Just a very very very normal tram ride along this route that's through an abandoned Egyptian excavation site. Nothing much though. Baby and I were too busy cam-whoring. Haha.

SCI-FI CITY

1. Battlestar Galactica CYLON

Not up yet.

2. Battlestar Galactica HUMAN

Not up yet.

3. Accelerator

This is your teacup ride at fun fairs. Just keep spinning round and round and faster and faster.

Baby said this made him dizzy. I thought it was fun. Heh. I wanted to take it the 2nd time and this time spin it more (we didn't spin it till at the end the first time round) but he refused to. ): Heh.

NEW YORK

1. Lights, Camera, Action! Hosted by Steven Spielberg

This is also like damn damn damn awesome. It shows you how movie directors stage a major hurricane with sound and visual effects. It's really amazing and very life-like and scary also. Esp when the last part with the large ship that was going to crash into us, baby started shouting 'AHHHHHHH!!!!!' Awesome number 2. Must go experience this too!

-No photos though cause no photography allowed-

2. Stage 28

Couldn't find where this was =/

HOLLYWOOD

1. Pantages Hollywood Theatre

This is something like a musical with the vampires, mummies, wolves, etc?

Singing's good though talking... half the time idk what they were saying but yeah, music and dance was good. Really rock the house. Top it off with the visual effects that were amazing, it makes this awesome number 3 must go watch! :D

For lunch, we went to this really fancy high class restaurant that's famous for the steak - KT's Grill.

& yeah the steak was really unlike any of the steaks I've tasted so far and for once, someone manages to get Medium Rare right. Not too hard not too bloody. Mm, nice. Btw, I ordered rare once and it's nice to eat 'cept the pool of blood in my plate isn't exactly THAT appetizing. Heh. The service is awesome, waiters keep re-filling your water even when it's not yet half empty. Asking how's the food, if we wanted deserts. Really high class I tell you. And the food is just amazing.

& baby and I literally rushed to take photos with the different characters. We'd be like, 'OH GOT (so and so) OVER THERE!!! -RUNS THERE ASAP TO QUEUE TO TAKE PHOTO-

Haha, we did that to the extent of following behind Frankenstein LITERALLY (I was like less than 30cm away from his back) till he finally stopped at a spot to take pictures with people. All that to take a frigging lousy shot that cut off his arm thanks to the helper's lousy shot. Zz, she was really rude to the others so I don't like her on top of the fact she took a lousy shot.

Anw, baby and I left Universal at about 7pm then took the monorail back to Vivo City and bus-ed home. We were so dead beat after the whole day of events. Really really tired + sore feet.

BUT IT IS SO FUN! :D

P.S. Other photos will be uploaded on fb soon! :D

2010-09-25T23:29:00.002+08:00

Went out with baby this afternoon to send my studio flash in for repairs cause the screw thread spoilt -.- After that we bus-ed down to Funan IT Mall to shop abit cause baby needed to get a HTC charger that wasn't USB-based.

HTC chargers that come with the phone are normally two pieces. The 3-pin plug + USB cable. Combine these two and you get yourself a charger. But baby can't bring USB cable to camp so he has to buy another charger.

And I got the cutest and cheap USB Hub ($6.50), a cheap keyboard ($10!) cause my iMac keyboard keeps going up and down each time I type due to my uneven table and a powerpoint extention thingo ($20) cause my room doesn't have enough sockets for everything.

I have 4 main sockets that are on 24/7, of which 3 are already using a 3-plug extension thing:

- 1st main socket with a 3-plug extension: Bedside lamp, dry cabinet, table lamp

- 2nd main socket with a 3-plug extension: Mosquito repellent(?), digital photo frame, big printer

- 3rd main socket with a 3-plug extension: External hard drive (non-portable), iMac, small printer

1 thing bad about having the 3 plug extension thing is that it's all cramped up and sometimes my plugs cannot fit cause they are too big to "circle round" the extension, so I bought a flat side-by-side extension :D Now I got enough for handphone charger, camera charger, battery charger and whatever I may need the last one for.

(Not the exact model for this but something like that)

Well, I'm pretty much getting my life back into order somehow :D I know it's like so damn long already but nobody recovers from a setback in life so fast. But yea, doing fine now and I'm happy most of the time. Heh.

Love my boy!

2010-09-24T23:19:00.002+08:00

I'm super shagged right now.

Especially my legs. Gosh.

Last time I used to complain about how I never got to go to a POP ceremony. My bro and Clem were Pes C thus no parade. I nearly went to the Navy POP for MT and Jerer but MT couldn't get an extra ticket for me so didn't go. But now I think I've pretty much enough of POPs already. I mean I wouldn't complain if I had a place to sit down but today was horrible. Lousy planning too.

I mean, not enough seats, offering ponchos to those who sit at the front lines and are getting wet. Best, I asked this crowd control guy if there were any extra chairs, he said, "No, all the chairs have all been placed here already". 10 mins later. I look at the opposite block and I see 2 stacks of chairs there. Yea, I'm sure, no chairs. Totally true huh.

& seriously? They gave the goodie packs (food and water) to the soldiers to give to their family when they arrive. Arrival was suppose to be at 3.30pm and 4pm the guys have to fall in. Half an hour grace period? Don't be ridiculous la. The thing only starts at 5pm. People who go there at 3.30pm have to wait frigging 1.5hours before the parade starts? And those who come after 4pm, will have totally no refreshments during the whole thing cause the boys fell in at 4pm. Dumb, seriously dumb.

Speakers, useless. Can't hear a shit thing anyone says, which explains why nobody from the side aisles (at least my side) stood up when the Guest of Honour came. Only the centre portion. And when they make it louder...Echoes everywhere you feel you're in a audio mirror room instead of a visual one. Speakers are there for a reason. To aid people in hearing what's going on, not to make them strain their ears and definitely not to make them go through some brain-washing with all the echoes and sound waves. Fail.

Anyway, don't expect good shots. I'm like far behind. Being squeezed with noisy idiotic guys behind me who keeps going, "Fuck I think... Fuck lah... Wah he idiot screw up... Die liao la... Who the hell is he? Fuck you...Fuck..." Get the point? I rolled my eyes at them like 3 times hearing the conversation. If you say like fuck in a conversation like once or twice still okay, and maybe if you change a bit like fuck, fucking, fucked, etc. But TWO people saying fuck in nearly every sentence to and fro is seriously damn irritating.

Okay, enough ranting. I'm just really groggy now.

Pictures up on fb. I only could be bothered editing two.

The rest if they are blur, lousy shots, whatever I don't care. I'm too tired.

2010-09-24T00:45:00.002+08:00

Like I said, when I'm feeling better, I'll remove the previous post.

But I guess I'll just leave it there.

Thanks Anh for coming down all the way to talk to me :D

& now I'm feeling a tad irritated cause I wait all day to talk to someone and I just wish that THAT someone could at least make a little effort to try and hold a conversation with me.

I really don't know what to think AND feel anymore. Sigh.

Anyway some shots I took today out of boredom. Ohwells.

2010-09-23T17:53:00.004+08:00

People say that only when you lose someone, will you then treasure that person/realise how much you love that person/miss that person/etc.
I have a new theory.
If each time you think of a person, it brings back painful yet beautiful memories even after many years, it shows that you really did love that person, even if it's subconsciously.

I've been thinking. When a couple breaks up, friends always say, the heart will heal with time. I don't think that's exactly true though. True that with time, we tend to grow more numb towards the break up but we don't heal at all. The wound will always be there, it will have a scar no matter what and given how much that person means to you, it will hurt whenever you touch the scar.

Which explains my previous theory (in red). When you really love someone, each time you touch that scar left by that person, it will hurt and bring back painful memories. People don't HEAL with time, they forget, they grow numb but they don't heal. They just bury it hoping that it'd never resurface.

In 2008, I had to choose. & at that time, I didn't even know who I actually love, I didn't know what love was anymore. After so many relationships, it seemed that love meant less and less to me. But right here, right now, I think I finally figured out that I did love him. With all my heart and soul. Even when my actions proved otherwise, even when I didn't realise, subconsciously, I did. It's really stupid. For me to only know that I really loved someone after 4 years.

Cause each time I brush past that scar, it's so painful that I always end up crying. It's literally heart-wrenching. Like I say, I don't believe people can heal and feel nothing and start afresh. It's not possible as long as they have emotions. All we can do, as humans, is to forget, bury it deep and hope that it'll never resurface.

The scar left by you hurts the most, even when I don't brush past it, it hurts time to time.

Thank goodness baby understands and doesn't get upset by what I blog about. Otherwise I'd have to bottle up all this negative emotions all these years. This is life. Well, maybe I'd delete this post later when I'm more rational and not so emotional. For now I'll just post this.

2010-09-22T17:08:00.002+08:00

Toddlers are cute. Yet the adults always use toddlers for their own sick psycho pleasure.

No I'm not referring to porn.

Just referring to how adults always make fun of little kids just for their own entertainment.

Example 1: Whole group of adults were watching at a little boy running round and round in a revolving door and then stopped the door, making the little toddler bang straight into a glass panel. Of course he cried and bang against the door because he was trapped both ways but they didn't let him come out till like 30sec later -.-

Example 2: A mother tricked her toddler into wearing his glasses upside down and crossing the road. The poor boy felt so weird he stopped and cried halfway across the road and his mum had to drag him across the road for safety.

I mean yeah it's cute seeing the little ones being so tiny and innocent but that's just sick if you look it from another perspective. Geez.

2 more days till I see baby! :D

& I'm frigging broke. I'm really bankrupt already. Ahhh, baby's gonna kill me.

2010-09-22T02:12:00.003+08:00

Realise my sleeping timing is really screwed now -.-

I sleep at about 3am and wake up at 10am/11am. Damn. I seriously need to sleep earlier and wake up earlier. Damn.

Miss baby right now ):

I'm still not used to it. From seeing baby everyday in school, to seeing baby every day from morning to night, to seeing baby two-three days a week =/

Call me clingy or something but just doesn't feel right. Plus we used to talk on the phone for hours each day and now we just talk to each other about 15mins and hang up or sometimes we don't even talk at all.

Ohwells, maybe that's how being in a long-term relationship is. Afterall, I can say that I have more than enough experience in relationships but not in the long-term relationship part. Guess in a long-term relationship, you have to let go of the small things you thought to be special and sweet before cause it no longer is special and sweet? Idk. So weird.

It seems everything is pretty much mundane, stable, etc. I know it's suppose to be a good thing but seriously, the word "mundane" is totally not in my vocabulary. I always wanted a relationship to be fun, exciting, and serious only when the time calls for it.

Think I'm going to sleep already. 3 more days before I see baby again. Even baby is counting down. Though I think he's counting down more to get out of the camp xD

2010-09-20T22:07:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY BABY! :D

Baby's finally 19 already but poor boy is in camp so he doesn't get to celebrate it on the actual day ):

But ohwells, that's army folks. At least it's better than the thought of baby having to be in Taiwan for a whole year on a medic attachment.

Anyway, on Saturday, went out with baby and his family to have an early birthday celebration for him.

Went to a vegetarian restaurant to have lunch, cut cake, then headed to the Singapore Flyer.

After that we headed down to AMK Hub cause his parents wanted to give baby an iPhone for his birthday. But in the end baby didn't get it because of him being in army and not being able to bring a camera phone in. Well apparently iPhone's SIM card is way smaller than the normal one?

Well baby got a HTC Touch 2, still pretty cool I guess. Heh.

Oh and a few days ago, when baby and I went to Cash Convertors, the guy at the counter asked this really weird question:

"Are you two brother and sister or are you boyfriend and girlfriend?"

and I replied, "Um boyfriend-girlfriend"

and he replied, "Oh because you two look quite alike"

WE DON'T LOOK ALIKE!!!! -.-

2010-09-16T00:23:00.002+08:00

Life never stops for you.

It's sometimes scary to think why does time keep on moving forward?

Why do we get older each second? Why does our body age every year?

I realise that books, movies, animes, games, etc. are just different avenues for some people to live in a different reality, a world completely different from our own.

For example, kids without a parent may keep reading books about having two loving parents.

Or someone who has lost the love of their life may watch shows that show how two loving people beat all odds and live happily ever after.

Of course, like the saying goes - There's never a happily ever after.

I'm articulate in my thoughts, my feelings (esp when I'm pissed) but when it comes to family, I don't say anything.

I love my parents a lot and each time the thought about one day not having them around scares me so much I'll end up crying. But they don't know that. They think I'm just one gone case daughter who's too deep in darkness/hopeless/useless/ and whatever else they think of me and that I'm pissed and irritated by them most of the time.

Well it's true that I get irritated by them quite a lot but still, I love them and I don't like the idea of not having them around with me even though they are sometimes a pain in the ass.

Others have told me before that sometimes my thinking is really matured and experienced (esp in the area of relationship) but truth be told, I'm actually just a small kid. I want the world to be perfect. No war, no money issues, no squabbles, no judging other people, no hurt etc. I just want it to be perfect where I can smile every single day and be happy. I know it's impossible but I just really want to believe in the best of people.

But like I said, the world ain't perfect. I've been betrayed, broken-hearted, etc. And this kinds of have a reverse psychology on me cause the more I'm proven wrong, the more tightly I cling on to the idea of wanting a perfect world -.-

Ohwells. Right now I guess I'm just grateful for baby, my family, and my dearest friends.

& after reading one of my friend's blog, I think it's time for me to spend more time with God too. Rationally speaking in scientific terms, having a religion brings about inner calm to a person as the mind creates this artificial feeling of security and hope of a non-existent being. But religiously speaking, it's just the faith you have in God.

I've lost much of that faith since I couldn't get into ADM and even though I keep thinking that God made it in such a way cause he planned another road for me, I still can't seem to see and accept it. But I'll just believe that some day every thing will work out, just like how I want the world to be perfect.

2010-09-14T23:57:00.002+08:00

YAY! Baby had off today so we spent the wholeeee day together.

& People! WATCH RESIDENT EVIL - AFTERLIFE IN 3D. It's the best action-packed movie in 3D.

Although a lot of slow-motion moves reminds me of The Matrix.

But damn cool. Baby was damn cute. The gun came "flying towards" us and baby stretched out his hand wanting to touch it.

HAHA exactly the same reaction as the girl who was sitting next to me xD

But really worth it to watch in 3D. Initially I wanted to skip watching it in 3D and just watch the normal version instead cause I honestly think the 3D effects are still not that up to standard yet esp for real life movies, but I'm SO GLAD I watched it.

2010-09-14T08:59:00.002+08:00

Yay! Finally had the time to blog again. Past 2 days have been rather busy.

& the fact that I'm up so frigging early ):

Anyway. Sunday had piano then headed down to baby's house for dinner.

He sucks in leading other people who are visually impaired. I closed my eyes to let him guide me and he sucks in it big time -.-

Yawns. Omg really damn tired. Freak.

Yesterday I just stoned at home. Baby came over later in the night after he booked out.

Going out with him later :D Hopefully? Idk I'm feeling really REALLY sleepy.

All thanks to my phone that was on loud mode and rang when baby texted me -.-

Anyway photos as promised. All taken at Clarke Quay for the lantern festival.

More can be seen HERE AT FB

2010-09-11T23:35:00.003+08:00

Love my baby boy to bits.

Heh, these few days he's been really patient and nice to me! Even though I know that he's bored out of his wits most of the time.

Yesterday he invited me out on a date. So cute! Haha, cause I wanted to do a photo shoot and so he 'dressed up' and when he came over, he insisted that I wake up (I was still in a sleepy mode having only slept at 5am), wash up, shower, and dress up too! -.- His reasoning was that since he dressed up, I should too and we should go out and have lunch at a restaurant. Geez.

Well we went to Lot 1's New York New York to eat. Love going there cause the staff are nicer and they always let us sit in the booth when I make a booking. 'Cept for once where it was crowded dinner time and they took my booking down as 7pm instead of 7.45pm -.-

After that went home, I cooked dinner and after that we set up my studio equipments to take some shots. Needed to take some photos for some BRAND'S® photo competition my mum wants me to take part. Think she wants to win the hamper -.-

Well the theme of the photo shoot was 'Mafia' so instead of the normal colour photos, I decided to create a more vintage look. You can compare the colour version and the vintage version. Heh. Baby looks really cool leh! Thanks to my shades and hat. Hohoho. Even the shirt he's wearing was a present from me. HAHAHAHA xD If only baby wore the blazer I bought. Pfft.

Really fun! :D Well today we wanted to head down to Guilin to take some shots but baby got lazy to go. However we ended up going down to Clarke Quay for the opening ceremony of some lantern festival performance (something like that). There was performances and like lots of shops selling food from Taiwan. Boy was it frigging crowded la. It's like human traffic jam. And trust me, you don't want to get stuck, unable to move anywhere, in the vicinity of the "chou toufu (stinky toufu)" area. You get stuck there, unable to move anywhere cause it's so crowded and you're just taking baby steps forward at a snail's pace, and smelling that stench. Gawd. I seriously still wonder how people stand eating it. Ew.

Last time I went to Taiwan I think my parents and brother tried it. Obviously I didn't. It's bad enough that I don't really eat toufu. But a stinky toufu just makes things worse.

Anyway, really pretty all the lanterns lighted up at the bridge. But like I said, REALLY crowded. Even the eateries in The Central shopping mall was packed so baby and I walked all the way one whole round to go to Liang Court to have dinner. We didn't cross the bridge cause it was so crowded but we did try to pass it when we came back (that's where we were stuck in a human traffic jam). After dinner, we headed back home and yay, happy me! (:

2010-09-09T21:59:00.000+08:00

Took some product shots today. Given that I haven't used my light tent and other equipments for quite long already. I'm having fun playing with my flash somehow :D Not bad la. Heh.

Went swimming with baby today. And my arms ache like shit now. It's painful in a really uncomfortable sort of way =/ And I seriously don't understand.

I go at 10 plus, got old men and guys who are like 20plus.

I go at 2 plus, ALSO got old men and guys who are like 20plus.

Seriously what the hell? Geez. Ow my arms hurt ): Gah.

Somehow these few days I keep getting the feeling of detachment pretty often.

The very philosophical kind.

& it's not getting better. It somehow seems like I'm having very serious split personalities -.-

2010-09-07T16:26:00.002+08:00

Gosh, after seeing all these cupcakes they just make me hungry =/

Though I know if I'm offered in real life, I may not eat them cause I don't really like eating THAT much icing.

BUT SO CUTE! Omg.

Now I'm hungry for cupcakes. Normal chocolate once though with no icing. Maybe some chocolate chips inside. Damn, I'm hungry ):

Ohwells.

Anyway I'm selling off my Crumpler Keystone for $240. It's out of stock in Singapore already. Anyone interested, just drop me a text. It's too bulky for me somehow.

2010-09-06T18:59:00.005+08:00

Family is the most important thing you can have.

Although for me most of the time we don't click.

Well, sometimes I accept that their thinking is right but most of the time I don't think their thinking makes sense.

I've grown up but still I think inside of me I'm still just a small kid wishing for a happy family and such. Ohwells.

Anyway I thought I might as well post some fun (but super nothing to do) things here.

For those who watches "How I Met Your Mother", here are some things you may wanna see:

1) Season 3 Episode 18 - "Rebound Bro"

The timing may vary but around 04:21, notice how Ted stands up and say "Let's have sex" followed by a split second where the camera shows Stella's face for a bit before returning to Ted saying "'Right now, I'll lock the door".

Well notice Ted's face in that split second. If you compare the position his face is in with the part where Stella was saying "Pus everywhere" (before Ted says "Let's have sex), you'd notice that Ted was not standing up in that split second between him saying "Let's have sex" and "Right now, I'll lock the door".

2) Season 3 Episode 20 - "Miracle"

The timing may vary but around 13:42, notice the part when Stella knocks Ted's jelly out of his hands. See the spoon being knocked onto the bed (with a bit of jelly still on it)? Then at 13:47, Ted is holding the spoon that's supposedly on the bed and it's clean. How can he be still holding the spoon when it's knocked out of his hands already?

3) Season 4 Episode 4 - "Intervention"

The timing may vary but around 19:30, notice the part when Ted asks the couple in their booth to leave. See how the lady gets up to leave, grabbing her drink with her left hand AND her phone with her right, leaving the table completely empty (except for the appetizers and sign). At 19:36, you see that the table is still empty but suddenly at 19:46 the handphone miraculously appears on the table and then the lady comes back to the table at 19:53 saying "Um..I think I left my cell phone here", which is really dumb cause she clearly took it away with her earlier.

Yes yes I'm really that bored okay. I've watched HIMYM so many damn times I can tell you what episode it is once the show starts with the narrator. & I've just re-watched Kekkaishi again. All 52 episodes. Damn.

I really need to find something else to do.

2010-09-05T22:31:00.002+08:00

Taken with Moses Lim! :D

The cooking workshop we attended for free!

Ah shucks. Piano exam will be in March next year. Dammit I hate piano exams cause it sucks to the core. Like really really sucks to the core. Pfft.

Baby is going for 2D1N field camp tomorrow ): Not happy but at least Wed he gets to come out and he has Thur and Fri off too! Hopefully. I hope he doesn't get extra cause he lost his wallet (in other words, his 11b). Geez. I curse whoever picked up his wallet on the cab/cab driver if they don't plan on returning it. Stupid people.

Well love my baby boy lots! Every week he'd bring me to piano lesson, wait an hour and fetch me home! Heh. And it's not I ask him to okay! Few times I sneaked off to piano lesson without him cause he's sleeping and when he woke up and realised I'm already back from my lesson, he starts sulking and whining about why didn't I wake him up so he could go with me.

I've been thinking, humans have emotions. When someone falls out of love, where does that 'old' love go to? It can't disappear for sure. Then where do we place it? Ohwells.

Anyway I'm giving myself another 2 more weeks. Cause that's when the shortlisted candidates of the photography competition will be out. If I'm in, then it's final, I won't be finding a job till the comps over. If I'm not in, time to start working!

My only motivation to work = MONEY.

I mean it's true. What else do I gain from working? -.-

Right now my life follows one rule: Don't go out, won't spend money.

Still I'm really broke already. I can be declared bankrupt soon -.-

Let's hope it doesn't get to that.

P.S. Prize for winning the photog comp? $20,000. Sweet.

2010-09-04T22:30:00.002+08:00

Super tired today. Plus even after eating yellow tablet my flu still ain't better ):

At night gets very bad cause I'll have runny nose, with the air-con on, under the blanket and perspiring. FYI I'm not feeling cold but very hot, just that my nose thinks my body is really cold -.-

Anyway early morning we (dad, mum, eug, me) cabbed down to Furama Hotel to attend some cooking workshop held by Moses Lim? Well entry is suppose to be $30/pax but somehow or another we all get to attend for free. Plus free food, free drinks and goody bags too! Why not? :D

After that we cabbed home cause the goody bags were really heavy. Each person had 2 bags so meaning total we had 8 bags. Then once we reached home, put down the bags, Daddy, baby and I went out again straightaway to take the bus down to Suntec City for the Comex fair.

It's quite okay la, not as crowded as I thought it'd be (given past experiences). Then we walked all the way to Peninsula Plaza for Cathay Photo. Thank goodness they were kind enough. Cause 7pm close shop. When we reached there it was already 7.30pm, and the shutters were like half down already. But all the staff were still inside. So they very kindly allowed us to come in for a last minute purchase.

YAY~! My dad bought me a new flash! :D Though it's frigging expensive. Damn. But still, made a promise to myself already, no more camera stuff till 2 years from now. Cause I'm quite contended with my current kit. 2 lens, 1 cam body, 1 flash, 1 tripod, few filters and that's it.

It's more than enough for me to practice and be better.

After buying my flash, headed down to Funan Mall to eat dinner then home!

Photos up tomorrow. Really dead beat now. Gosh. I can barely open my eyes.

Hopefully my mum doesn't recall I have that piano recital whatever thing tomorrow morning.

It's a 10.30am in the morning. Gawd. I just wanna give it a miss. Plus I have piano lesson tomorrow too! Damn.

2010-09-03T23:16:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 25TH MONTHSARY BABY!

Well, baby had a really bad day today. Poor baby):

Losing his wallet and everything really sucks big time.

& I'm getting more and more sick. Just took medicine. Gah having this flu for 3 days already.

Hopefully tomorrow I get good shots somehow.

I really want to go register for driving lessons already. I'm too bored at home.

I haven't gotten a job yet mainly because of the photog competition. If I get to the final 7, I have to be free for like this period in Oct without any commitments/jobs/etc.

That reminds me, I need to renew my passport.

2010-09-02T19:57:00.000+08:00

Went for a run just now to test out my new mp3 player. Quite okay la. At least now I don't have to hold my Ipod and run. Only thing is that I don't really like those earpiece that goes into your ear and have noise reduction also? I mean basically those that are not normal ear pieces. Cause somehow I don't feel comfortable. Ohwells.

Pretty yes? :D

Oh boy and I think I'm falling sick already. I'm really bored!

If anyone needs a photographer to cover events (birthday parties, weddings, studio shots, etc) OR know people who are looking for one, let me know! (:

At least that'd give me something to do.

2010-09-01T16:48:00.002+08:00

Somehow seeing wedding videos and pictures just seem so nice. Ohwells.

Feeling really sleepy now. It's like going to rain.

& I feel my life is really going nowhere. Damn. I seriously need to go out more often or get a job. Cause I keep staying at home I think I'll go mad soon.

Bleh.

Not much to blog about today though. Just that the weather is REALLY REALLY HUMID!

Gosh.

Oh that reminds me, I still want a dog! :D

Hopefully.

2010-08-31T10:25:00.002+08:00

ZJ and I decided to try out motion photography WITHOUT a tripod for panning. Damn difficult.

HEEHEE :D This and the photo below are taken with 35mm lens that ZJ lent me to try out.

Had a horrible dream last night -.- It's like a combined rubbish dream of I don't know what, my imagination, part of the novel I just read and more of I don't know what. Geez.

Oh great now I've gotta get ready to go out later. Yawns.

Got the interview for some photography thing. Sian. Wish baby could go with me ): Pfft.

Hate being alone. Ohwells.

2010-08-30T22:26:00.002+08:00

The miniature model of the Helix Bridge on display.

I still think it looks like a freaking circus wheel -.-

Yeah man. That's how big my kite actually is :D

The stunt kite that we still haven't mastered (it uses two reels)

FAMILY! :D

More pictures HERE!!

Went out with ZJ today to take some photos. Seriously there ain't anything to shoot in town la.

Boring shit. Then when we were about to go to the sky garden, once we came out of the lift, the downpour started -.-

Baby's sleeping now ): Pfft. But thanks to baby to help me edit my blogskin here and there. He didn't really finish up the whole thing so I did the final editing myself and TADAH! :D

I'm bored really. Damn.

Photos will be up tomorrow!

2010-08-29T23:37:00.003+08:00

HE POSED SPECIALLY FOR ME! :D

& somehow he looks like FC. Weird much?

Anyway, spiciest day ever!

Finally cooked chilli today and if there is chilli, there is chilli beehoon!

And damn it was the spiciest we ever had.

I don't eat chilli outside much mainly because I'm really picky about the taste.

There are only certain types of chilli I eat and certain food I eat with chilli.

Other than that, I can't be bothered eating chilli.

BUT I can eat really spicy food. So can baby. & he eats more chilli than me on the whole.

Today was seriously the best.

Imagine him, whole face red and shiny (with perspiration), running to the kitchen to get ice/milk/water.

And me, gulping down iced water like I haven't drank in days,openly weeping and ears throbbing.

& after we 'cool' down, we would continue eating and the whole thing starts all over again xD

Now both our stomachs hurt. Hohoho.

2010-08-28T18:04:00.004+08:00

Really sleepy now but baby's sleeping on my bed so I don't get to sleep ):

Baby slept over at my house last night cause we were going out early this morning :D

Went kite-flying with my parents at Marina Barrage. First we went to a coffeeshop nearby then cabbed to Marina Barrage and fly kite. Heh, really fun 'cept that there was close to no wind cause of the stupid storm ): Still it was fun. After that we headed down to Suntec to walk walk and eat. My mum's considering to let me have a dog!!! Considering on the terms that I've to clean it's poop and train it and everything else. Pfft.

After Suntec, we went to Marina Square (toggi!) then we bus-ed down to Marina Sands to see the hotels and stuff like that. It's rather cool you know (photos will be up tomorrow cause I'm really too sleepy now). Then my parents headed off elsewhere while baby and I went down to Ikea @ Alexandra to get the following items:

NYTTJA frame ($3.90 for 2)

DRONA box ($9.90)

LACK Side Table ($12.90)

DUDERO Floor/Reading Lamp ($19)

Had to cab home cause we really had to hands to carry the stuff on top of our own personal bags, my camera bag, tripod and kites.

Well happy day today:D

2010-08-27T13:06:00.003+08:00

I AM SO BORED! ROAR!

Well today is really nice to sleep in. Raining heavily all the way till 11plus in the morning. Gosh.

I've been having all the weird dreams these days. Especially dreams about baby cheating on me xD But last night's dream was pretty cool though. Action-pack with monsters and killing and super power. Heh.

OH AND I'M SORRY BIG SIS FOR NOT TEXTING YOU! SORRY! =/

Hahaha.

Took these two photos this morning. Had nothing better to do. Think my mum thought I was crazy standing at the window with my camera when it's raining heavily outside.

Going to meet the baby boy later! Saw him yesterday but I miss him uber much already =/ Ohwells. Soon soon! :D

2010-08-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

I'm still trying to keep up blogging every day. Ohwells.

Today was greeeeat! :D Met baby after his work at Jurong Point for lunch then went to gai gai for a bit. Though we didn't buy anything. Oh wait! We did! Heh baby bought me a book from the Sans Bookstore - Midnight Club by James Patterson.

Well I wanted to buy Agatha Christie but he say James Patterson/Dan Brown is better ): Haven't read it yet but soon.

& at night was super fun too! Haha poor Jeff didn't have water supply in his house so he asked to go play bball. Went with baby cause he was at my house anyway. Not bad la. So long never play with him already:D 2hours of bball ♥

Infrared photography is really fun though. Going to try it again soon. Ohwells. Baby's going back to camp already ): Pfft.

2010-08-24T14:54:00.002+08:00

OKAY! I've made up my mind to really start blogging every day again.
Afterall it gives me something to do. So yes, I'm back to blogging.

Anyway my room is like really really cramped right now.

Just imagine:

- Queen-size bed

- 2 wardrobes cum cupboard cum storage area

- 1 chair

- 1 dry cabinet

- 1 table with many small cupboards, 2 drawers, 2 printers, 1 iMac, 1 laptop

- 1 art stand + paint + brushes + paper + basically all my art stuff

...and a lot of other rubbish in my room.

Gawd. Seriously the number of steps you can take in my room is about 10-15 steps and that's it.

Well the boy it lazier. He rolls on the bed from side to side to get from my com to the door cause he's lazy to walk -.-

Anyway started a new photography project again. This time it's INFRARED PHOTOGRAPHY! :D

The past two weeks I haven't touched my camera cause I was concentrating more on drawing and painting. I didn't know I could draw if I tired REALLY hard =/ I still suck at painting though. Currently learning watercolour painting and it's hell hard. Still, I'm trying my best! Really need to keep trying to boost my portfolio no matter what.

& Barney Stinson and Scooter are a gay couple in real-life! How cool is that? Barney Stinson, the womanizer! Hahaha. Seriously the best news I've heard in a long long time.

Oh, on Saturday I went out with Clement and ShiHao. Been so damn long since I saw the both them :D Heh. Equally as retarded, reminiscing old times, I really miss our round table group. They were my round table and OGL group. Love them to bits really!

Okay photos will be up in my next post! Finally got my lazy ass to upload the photos to my computer. I miss a whole ton of people right now & I just want to say ' I LOVE YOU!' (:

2010-08-21T02:36:00.002+08:00

Haven't been blogging for really long.
I also don't know why. Somehow I just don't know what to say here anymore.
But I'll still try to keep blogging.

& well, I realised, true friends are those who tell you the truth each time they talk to you, despite those times being only a few every year.

But those who tell you lies every day they talk to you, they just ain't work it.

2010-08-11T15:19:00.002+08:00

Nothing ever seems enough for my parents.
Nothing I do is right for them, enough to make them proud.

I'm seriously sick and tired of trying to impress them and making them proud of me, or even noticing me.
Why?
Cause all I ever get from them are criticisms, sarcasms and insults.
And each time this happens, I cry my freaking face off cause I get so upset.

I'm so sick of this. I've had this life for 7 years already. When is it EVER going to end?

I know I screwed up badly okay? I know it's all my fault that this happened.

But have you ever wondered whether it was your fault too? Sure, you provided my tuition which costs a bomb and such but I've told you before, I just want some recognition, some encouragement. Well I never got that.

Whenever I tried to get good results, the only response I get is, 'Why never get higher? How did your cohort do? How much did (fill in a name) get? So?Not good enough, you still failed last time what.'

Ultimately, the blame always end up with me. Always.

That's why I don't even talk at home to anyone, I don't even go out for meals with them.

Hell, they don't even think I'm important to them enough to offer me to go out shopping with them.

They just go out leaving me at home, to find food for myself (I'm cut off financially) and bid time.

In this one month, I think the number of sentences I've said to any family member is less than 15. Most of which are just one-word answers.

Sometimes I wish I can just disappear from the face of this earth and not look back.

Save me the pain, save them the trouble.

After all, tell me how good can parents be when they cut their own daughter off financially, pressuring her to get a job when all she wants is to concentrate on building up her portfolio, criticises her each time she tries to suggest a new addition that can help her portfolio by saying she can never make it and basically throwing sarcastic remarks at her every other day?

Plus, they don't even realise that their very own daughter has actually been suffering from depression and having suicidal thoughts for a few years already.

Great, just great. I can just die today and they'd never realise I'm gone.

2010-08-08T00:31:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I really wonder how is it that there are some who can just be willing to spend the rest of their lives with just that one person.
While others, just can't seem to find that one person they are willing to spend their lives with.
And a few that just aren't willing to spend their lives with just that one person.

I mean, it's really a mystery to me up till now.

I, for one, really can't see how someone could just see someone as 'the one' and believe in happily forever after. Especially despite the fact that it's the first person he/she ever got together with.

That's what I keep questioning Eug about. I mean, I'm not the first girl he liked but I'm his first girlfriend and I really don't see how it's going to work out really. For me, I've dated a lot of guys and I still don't know what it's like having 'the one'.

I had that 3 years back. I thought that was it, finally got someone I was willing to spend the rest of my life with. Planning a family, my dream house, my dream fantasy house even and even the names of our kids. I thought that as long as I could imagine spending the rest of my life with this guy, it's him. But...things always don't work out somehow.

Bottom line is, I really don't see how people can just decide 'He/She's the one' at the very first try and be so fixated about it. Not that Eug considers me the one but he seems really convinced that we'll work out right. I obviously have my doubts about that given circumstances and experiences I've been through. I think it's amazing some people still have that kind of faith and belief in this era. Well well.

2010-08-04T17:55:00.002+08:00

2 longs in a relationship is helluva long time for me. I mean, to others it may not seem like it but to me it sure it long. I always wonder how I can make it this far.

Damn. But still of course, there are tons of things I'm still struggling with like how I could stand 2 years in a relationship (trust me, it's an amazing feat to accomplish for me) and hopefully I'll be able to keep it up and not give in otherwise... well, it wouldn't be nice.

But sometimes, all it took was for one guy, just one. Someone I trusted in for almost 3 years even though we didn't talk much and rarely met, someone I used to like and basically just someone I thought had no reason to lie to me whatsoever, to temporarily stop that struggle for me. Just for awhile but still, yeah.

I got reminded of all the reasons why I used to hate the life of being single or basically having short relationships and hopping here and there. Baby says he should pay that guy to do this to me more often -.- Idiot.

Well, like what I always like to believe, I'm still young. I still have a whole life ahead for me that sometimes I do think being tied down in a relationship so early basically just defeats all kinds of fun you get to do only when you're young and single. But yet again, I can think of arguments against that. This dilemma sucks. Geez.

Not that I'm straying or what but when you have nothing to do at home, you tend to think a lot more than you actually need to. Heh. And the past few weeks I've been thinking so much I think I can be some expert already. Ohwells.

P.S. Stargate Atlantis is awesome. You should watch it if you have the time. Just get it off youtube.

2010-08-03T22:06:00.001+08:00

Did a second stop-motion animation. This time using more shots and I nearly died of exhaustion doing it.

Here it is:

2010-08-03T00:00:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY MY DEAR BOY! :D

You're in camp now but I know you'll still read this. Heh.

Since the boy will be in camp, we celebrated it earlier on Saturday.

Had lunch at Marche at 313@Somerset. First time baby ate there and it's been a long long time since I last ate that. Damn, the rosti is still awesome. Tried the mashed potato and it was delicious too.

We then went to sing at Kbox at Cine for about 4 hours. It was really fun!

After which we headed down to The Cathay to eat at Astons for dinner. Damn long queue la. We waited for more than an hour before we could go in and eat. But I think it was worth waiting. First time I'm eating there and the steak is really good. We both ate the tenderloin, mine medium rare and baby's medium. Baby's always complaining about how bloody my steak is and chewy and soft and I don't know what else but I like it like this whaaatttt!

While waiting outside Astons

When we were going for dinner, baby realised that our couple ring was no longer on his finger and we went all the way back to kbox to find it but it wasn't there. So baby got emo and cranky saying it was a 'sign' that we should get a new pair -.- Silly boy found it in his bag when we got home and I've no idea how the hell it ended up there. This was him emo-ing about the lost ring during dinner.

But I still don't get why they serve steaks in such a miserable size. Seriously miserable. Small and sad. Haha.

Anyway love you dear! :D

2010-07-30T23:34:00.003+08:00

Here's the video as promised:D Don't be too critical cause it's my first attempt in ever trying stop-motion photography AND using a video editing software (or basically making a video).

And I made this video for baby for his early 2nd anniversary present (it's on a Tuesday so I don't get to see him) & that cute boy nearly cried. Heh. He was giving me this sad face and saying, 'I wanna cry already...'

My back pain came back to me this morning. Frigging painful. Had difficulty walking and it got worse towards the end of the day. I hope I'm well tomorrow so I get to go out! =/

2010-07-29T18:00:00.004+08:00

YAY! Tried out a really really simple "project" today and it worked!

I think I'm awesome. Haha, especially when I really really am hopeless in that area of expertise + I have no freaking idea how to use softwares related to that area, what's more a Mac version of it.

It's amazing how I got through it! YAY YAY YAY! :D

Wanna know what is it? Heh. Well, I'm good in photography, I read up a lot on it, I practice a lot. But one thing I have absolutely NO IDEA how to operate are things related to video. I never EVER pulled off being able to operate on a video editing software. Okay, I did but that was in sec1-2. I'm awesome xD

Did a really simple project and it worked out great (for a beginner okay!). Will upload it tomorrow night after the boy sees it. Heh. Already let my mum see it and she thought it was done by him cause I think she knows I totally can't make it for video stuff somehow.

Oh, photos of me and clem when we went to catch a movie! :D

2010-07-28T11:24:00.002+08:00

I'm going to start on a new project! Heh. If I manage to complete this project and it's successful, it's going to boost my portfolio quite a lot. Going to start small first then the final big project will be with ZJ all around Singapore. Fun!

Went out with Clement yesterday for a movie at Vivo. Watched Nodame Cantabile (Finale). Have no idea what it is cause I didn't even watch the first one -.- But still thank goodness it was rather interesting cause it was about music (piano especially). Visual effects were kinda lame though. I mean, in anime it's okay but real life? Kinda dumb.

And I finally got a proper mousepad. No more using cardboard already xD But I think I need to get some sort of 'base' to put under my keyboard. My table's somewhat not straight so when I type, the left of the keyboard keeps going down and up and down and up. Damn irritating. Now I'm using a notebook to balance it out properly.

I'm so sleepy. I'm like catching up with all my lost sleep since I don't know when. Feel so tired right now. Ohwells, going to go out soon for awhile.

Sian. I'm even too tired to think about how to celebrate our 2nd anniversary. 2 years. Omg. This really is amazing in my standards. HAHA.

2010-07-26T15:16:00.002+08:00

Gave up trying to find the cracked version of Photoshop for Mac. Think I'll just go buy the software though it's freakingly expensive.

I'm finally done with the photos I took from the Malaysia trip.

Here are the photos I took during our kite-flying session on Saturday. It really pays to go early cause there was strong winds, not much sun and empty space with no kites. Totally love it :D

2010-07-24T23:31:00.002+08:00

Today's been really tiring.

Baby stayed over at my house after dismissing from camp at about 10pm?

Woke up at 5am today to get ready to head down to Marina Barrage.

Well, nothing special really, nice view and such but still, so-so. Do really wanna see the Helix thingo at night though. Seen pictures of it and it looks awesome.

Went to fly kite. Really damn fun but handling the stunt kite was hard.

End of the day, still unable to handle the stunt kite. Heh.

Joel came to find us about 11am, then we headed for lunch.

Whole day we got lost TWICE -.- 2nd time full credit to Joel really.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: Joel and I decided 'What-the-heck' and took the plunge to the FISH SPA! & yea, we dragged Eug along with us. I've some super hilarious videos in my phone and some photos. Will upload it soon. Somehow, after the fishie thing, I have this huge and long bruise on my leg. VERY WEIRD cause I never knocked into anything today. Pfft.

Headed to Marina Square to watch "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" and it's one helluva show.

Really MUST WATCH. Totally loved the show even though the lead actor wasn't exactly cute/hot but he's definitely funny enough to love him :D

After that said byebye to Joel and headed home to cook dinner.

Photos up soon, esp the videos :D HEHE.

2010-07-21T14:48:00.002+08:00

I've always been living this lie that I've had a closure finally, to make things okay, to make things work out.
But like they say, you can lie to the whole world but you can never lie to yourself.

Somehow I still feel for the song cause that's the one song that can bring back the tears in my eyes and memories flooding back.
The boy told me last night that it takes twice the number of years spent together to let go of someone.

Does that mean it'd take me 6 years to let go of everything? =/

Shit, I'm getting emotional again. I love this song yet I hate it cause it makes me cry each time I hear it.

Think I'll go back to editing photos.

2010-07-20T20:17:00.002+08:00

Finally decided to blog. Been so damn tired these few days.

Well the trip was kinda fun even though I didn't have anyone to talk to most of the time and I sit alone most of the time -.- Plus like I'm (supposed to) sleep alone for the 3 nights.

Well 1st night I slept alone at Ipoh, but the 2nd and 3rd night at Cameron Highlands I slept with my parents, leaving my room empty cause I was so freaked out.

1) My tap makes a high pitched sound each time I use it.

2) I nearly died in the bathroom when I slipped on the bathtub cause the management's so frigging stingy they don't even provide the bathroom mat NOR bedroom slippers.

3) My mirror has this face like shape on it that wouldn't fog no matter what after a shower with hot water.

4) My little ooah (a little monkey toy that I have that has both a recording voice button and a playback function) who hasn't been able to 'talk' for almost a year just started playing back the last recorded voice out of nowhere when I was in the toilet with it. Freaky as it was, the last recorded word was 'HELLO'. Oh, and when I tried pressing the playback button after that, it didn't work at all.

So yeah, I went to my parent's room to sleep cause hooboy I trust my 6th sense a lot okay. & boy was I glad I did. According to my dad who went to use the toilet on the last day there, the lights and fan were still on and turning even without the room card key in the slot for electricity. Spooky yes? Plus he even went back there twice and both times, they were still on.

Other than the freaky hotel part, the trip went pretty well.

Still can't upload the photos I've taken yet cause I still don't have my photoshop in my Mac yet.

I'm now rotting at home with nothing to do. Just catching up on my sleep.

Well, hopefully this week I can go to register for BTT and the next week head out with Clement.

Going to sleep again. Really sleepy Z_z

2010-07-14T19:51:00.002+08:00

Heading to M'sia tomorrow morning. Frigging early about 5plus in the morning? ):

Going to miss the boy when I'm there cause it means 4 days of no sms-ing & calling and 1 week of not seeing him and 10 days before I can go out with him again. I seriously don't cope well not contacting the boy at all.

Now I'm pretty used to not seeing him every day (unlike in school) but I'm still not used about the not contacting part. Last year his Korea trip and my HongKong trip nearly killed me. It was uber long and torturous.

Well will be back on Sunday late night =/ Hope everything works out well. Wish baby wasn't in army though. My bro can't make it for the trip so there's this empty spot (already paid) & my mum asked if baby could go, but sadly, there's army. Sucks. I'm going to have the whole room to myself. Freaks me out. I'm going to leave all lights on when I sleep. Gah.

Anyway here's the itinerary, pretty much all nature stuff. Hopefully I get good shots there. Would do me a great deal. I love landscape shots. Still, wish baby could have come with me.

4D3N Ipoh/Cameron Highland

Day1:

Transfer to 2nd Link Malaysia --> Lunch at Seremban --> Ipoh

Place of interest - Gua Tempurung, Haven Cave

Dinner at Ipoh

Heritage Hotel Ipoh

Day2:

Ipoh --> Cameron Highland

Strawberry farm, cactus, tea farm, honey farm

Heritage Hotel Cameron

Day3:

Cameron HIghland

Place of interest - Tea farm, Pasar Cameron, free time in Cameron

Day4:

Cameron --> Singapore

Check out

Place of interest - Orang Asli Waterfall

Have lunch at Kampar (Curry Chicken Roti)

2010-07-11T11:11:00.002+08:00

Bones is really a good show to watch. Plus somehow I don't know why, it feels like I've watched a few episodes before. Like maybe 1 or 2? I could 'foretell' what was going to happen in a certain episode even before it happened. Weird. Somehow it's in my memory and it seemed like a really long time ago? Which is possible considering that I haven't watched TV in years. Don't really have the habit of watching TV. But I wouldn't mind if it was cartoon network :D

Friday night talked to FC over the phone till 2am and I was up at 6am on Saturday. Geez. Damn tired I tell you. Headed to meet baby for breakfast cause he just booked out. Went to Art Friend to get some materials and went home. I still wanna fly kite though =/

Today baby came early, had breakfast and now he's sleeping like a pig on my bed. Ohwells. I'm really bored at home. Heading over to M'sia next week. Sucks. Means that I won't even get to spend the weekend with him.

Damn, I'm sleepy too. Shall go watch Bones now since my whole bed is practically 'taken over' by the boy.

2010-07-07T15:53:00.004+08:00

As usual, rotting at home with nothing to do. I've some great plans I wanna try out but seriously with photoshop I can't do nuts.

On the other hand, started watching 'Bones' so yea, I'm pretty much occupied now though I still wanna design the ideas I have and see how it turns out to be. Cause I can't draw for nuts but I can most certainly use the computer to draw for me :D

Tons of things to do this weekend though. Seriously just wish baby could have more than just the weekends off. But ohwells, army...Tsk.

& well, since my bro was back from his 2 months stay in the States, astronaut food for you.

2010-07-06T11:01:00.002+08:00

I nearly crashed into the pole while trying to take this picture -.-

Cause I was squatting and balancing on my toes (due to my knee problem) and the train suddenly moved faster. Zz.

But I'm pretty glad it turned out quite nice :D

You know when you're home you think of tons of things. How your life has been, what have you been doing in life, who deserves to be part of your life, etc.

I've been thinking so much it's driving me nuts. And I'm glad for the talk I had with FC. Cause somehow it just took my mind off things and we talked about nonsense things (as usual) for 1.5hours. We haven't talked for this long for a really long time already so it felt nice somewhat to finally be able to hold such a long conversation with someone over the phone other than the boy.

I'm not wallowing in self-pity or what but I haven't been in the best mood for the past few months. The past few weeks have been spent locked up in my room, not talking to anyone and just leaving my room to go for a run, practice piano, bring my meals to my room and go to toilet. Seriously, the number of words that comes out from my mouth each day (other than talking to the boy) is about 0-10. That's how bad it is. Like even though my brother came home on Friday (I think?), I haven't even spoken a single word to him, not even a 'Hi'.

The only life-saver is when the boy comes over during night's out/book out. That's almost the only time I actually talk to someone face to face/leave my room. Sounds pathetic yes? I guess everyone has their own ways of dealing with setbacks and mine is just to cut myself away from everyone else. I mean, even the boy doesn't know what I'm going through and I'll admit, sometimes it gets irritating cause he thinks that I'm just being a bitch despite me telling him tons of times I'm really not in the best moods these days.

Songs always have a link to day, moment, time, etc, basically short periods. Mine's like months or even A YEAR -.- Geez.

Plus no photoshop = making me feel worse. Zz.

Well, I'm going back to stonning now. Once again, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO ON MY MAC. Ironically, the reason I got a Mac is to do design stuff. Ohwells.

2010-07-05T13:43:00.002+08:00

It still sucks still not being able to use photoshop. I have tons of photos that need editing but I can't do shit =/ Am using the iPhoto in Mac but the options I have is really limited. Gah. It's really true that when they say once you use photoshop, you never want to use any other photo-editing programme anymore cause it's really the best out there. Sucks to the max.

Well, just gotta make do with the current programme I have now I guess. & gotta make do with the photos for now. Haha.

Weekends always pass by so fast while weekdays are a drag for me. Geez. Photoshop is suppose to make me be occupied but somehow I can't seem to install it. Gah.

Anyway, pictures when my Mac arrived! :D

When the box first came! :D

In the cardboard box! -heart melts- Super exciting I tell you.

YAY! It's really huge.

But it's extremely slim. Considering that I never bothered to follow up on Macs before, I never knew a desktop could exist without an external CPU. I know it sounds dumb but really, the last time I used a desktop at home was about maybe 10 years ago?

Slim wireless mouse. I'm so scared I scratch it, dirty it or something =/

On our 23rd monthsary (: (Mixture of DSLR and my baby cam photos, thus the blur-ness in a few of 'em)

Found this photo really cute cause the boy was being irritating and kept looking in the other direction (refusing to look at the camera).

Well that's all for now. I really wanna get a photoshop software for my Mac ASAP cause editing photos on my baby lappy (though I'm quite used to it already) it's really tiring.

2010-07-03T23:59:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 23RD MONTHSARY BABY! (:

Though our elaborate full-day plan didn't work out as expected cause of your "confinement", I'm still thankful for the time I get to spend with you on this special day. It's been way long since we celebrated together on the actual day itself.

& though we have been getting into stupid quarrels lately, really stupid ones actually, heh, it was fun wasn't it? With you and your other split personalities =P

I love you (:

Well, today baby and I went out. We actually had a whole day's worth of activities planned out but we didn't follow it much. We still kept to our Sakae Sushi lunch but it was more of brunch.

Didn't manage to go to Bras Basah nor Marina Barrage cause it was raining. Cancelled our late-night out at Esplanade cause we went to celebrate my mum's birthday down at Chinatown. Still, a happy day :D

Went to eat at the Mouth's Restaurant (is it even spelt like this?!) and somehow that restaurant always makes us wind up eating too full. The last time I went, my parents brought me and Clement along for dim sun breakfast or something, winded up with Clement being uber bloated. Same goes for Eugene, he was half-dying of full-ness after dinner. Haha.

& Well, I have decided on the general path I should take in life but for the specifics, not yet.

Still I'm pretty happy with my life right now. Though cash-flow is a problem cause I'm not working NOR getting any allowance, I'm still rather satisfied with life now. I mean, it's all right for us to take a step back, relax and observe as life goes on, once in awhile right?

On another note, MAC IS SUPER HARD TO USE DAMMIT. Gosh, I'm really going to die trying how to figure out how to use it. Zz.

2010-07-02T16:40:00.002+08:00

Thank goodness for my guy friends esp best friend who is all the way in Australia.

I was feeling lost again last night, felt totally useless and wanted to give up.

Kenneth and Aks pulled me right back up and onto my feet again.

They told me not to give up and like what Kenneth says 'There are always choices'

Well true. There are always choice but it's making the right choice that is the hardest part.

I want to get my life back on track, piece every thing back together and move on.

But there's always the fear of making the wrong choice again. I've made 3 major wrong choices in my life that has made a complete mess out of my life. I don't want to make anymore wrong choices that's going to screw me up even more.

I'm going to be brave, move on and still, be brave. Damn, that's hard.

And I can tell when I'm emotionally unstable. I tend to look for things to buy, A LOT.

& Thank goodness the only thing that's stopping me from buying anything is the idea of 'I'm not working anymore'.

Plus I've been pretty thrifty these few months. Haven't bought anything for a really long time.

No camera equipment, no clothes, no shoes, no unnecessary accessories (I needed ear sticks)...basically nothing that I WANT but do not NEED. Quite proud of myself :D

2010-07-01T19:03:00.003+08:00

Well well, army life it is.

The boy has confinement so that means my plans for Saturday has to change already cause he can't book out on Friday.

Oh well.

Yawns. I'm so proud of myself. Today is a really nice weather to sleep in/take a nap and I didn't! :D

2010-07-01T14:49:00.002+08:00

I know this is going to sound really dumb but...
My Mac is really boring -.-
I mean, okay, if I have the Photoshop download version for Mac, it wouldn't be this boring already.
Or maybe some games? At least my laptop had minesweeper; solitaire; hearts; etc.

Mac? Chess.

A game which I never ever completed before, which I never remembered how to position the figurines, and basically a game I really sucked at.

Plus point, I get to watch my videos in a much bigger screen.

& it's not lag like my small lappy.

Minus point, I don't know a single shit about Mac.

I wanted to get a Mac was only for one reason, well two actually.

One: Bigger screen (you should really see my baby lappy)

Two: It's best for photo-editing, designing, etc.

Can't wait for the weekends to come so baby can help me download the necessary softwares for me cause I have no frigging idea how to download softwares that need to be cracked. Normal softwares, files, etc, I know. Those that need cracking or keygen (is this the word?), I have no idea.

& I wanted to go swimming so that I wouldn't be so bored. And just as luck would have it, it just had to rain. Now there's no more sun, there's still thunder, and I bet the pool water is freezing.

On the bright side, I can't wait for this weekend. 23rd monthsary! :D

And boy are we going out early.

Have you ever been on a date at 6.30am before (school ain't counted)? :D